🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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@Ruin no need for eugenics in Sweet's case. He's never going to reproduce and hasn't had pussy since pussy had him.
 
flossman said:
I know you're telling the truth, but to protect my tenuous grasp on reality I am going to accuse you of lying.
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I'll take that to mean that you do not want me to post a link to the journal page where the image is displayed in all its feculent glory, including commentary on its shape and dimensions.
 
Hey, if he can have a "girlfriend" in his past who only ever called him on the phone and noped out of there when "she" or a friend of hers actually met him, he can propose to the poor thing with a hunk of Herkimer headlight.
 
I guess I forgot about this reply:
Christian Bale to Sweet: "ARE YOU A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL?!" said:
I got more mail than any writer on staff, and the readers presented me wit gifts for my work... so clearly I was doing something right. Not my fault if the faculty adviser got her fat nose out of joint because an editor saw something in me, overstepped his boundaries and recommended I write columns for the paper. I appreciate it, but I never asked him to stick his neck out for me. Of course I didn't act "professional"-- I wasn't a professional. I was still learning. I had never taken a journalism class in my life. I was just a poor a rube kid from a high school that was still using typewriters in 1992. All I wanted was to draw some funny little cartoons for the campus rag. I never expected to get into a fight with a bunch of jealous, petty little dickheads who couldn't take it that I simply blew out from right field with no experience, no formal training, no nuthin', and still managed to do somersaults over the rest of 'em. Maybe they should have stepped up their game more instead of plotting to topple me, huh?
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Absolutely unhireable.
 
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New journal entry is up.

Thumbskull, using the deranged logic that is his alone, has decided that Veterans Day (which the Bad Boy of College Journalism™ moronically calls "Veteran's Day," as if there is only one veteran in the U.S.) is the perfect time to make fun of Dale -- a military veteran. To be fair, The Stalking Horror did attempt to enlist back in the late '90s, but he withdrew his application when he was told that the Army could only find one job for which he was qualified -- bayonet practice dummy.

He also presents the world with this horror:

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Apparently he now believes that his repellent noggin emits beams of stupidity. Or maybe some Kiwi at the Vatican has told him that he's been canonized and is now the patron saint of Violent Moon-faced Lunatics.
 
As repulsive as Sweet Bro is, I do understand what it's like to feel like everybody is against you. Feeling unwanted is a very real thing that many people feel, but... Sweet is a huge idiot who can't even get the point when it is thrown in his face. Sweet won't understand, but he acts the way he does because he knows on some level that people will never embrace him. They will never consider him as an actual friend.

This will be feelsy, but I would like to see Sweet get better. If he doesn't though, who gives a fuck? Nobody is losing out on anything. Sweet is only screwing himself over. If Sweet is going to talk to talk, this joker better be prepared to walk the walk and he sure as hell isn't.
 
I often do feel bad for Sweet. He's obviously got some very serious psychological and cognitive issues that absolutely need to be addressed by a professional. He would require many, many long months and years of therapy to get himself back on track. He's obviously completely miserable.

But then he acts like an asshat and insists he's juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine, well, there's nothing to do but laugh at him.
 
Holdek said:
And who should? It's his choice. The guy has admitted that "I'm an Asshole" is his theme song.
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I'm sure yall know how I feel about this, being the most bleeding of bleeding hearts, but I agree with @AJMLurker here: Sweetpea chooses these things subliminally. He's at once very complicated and very simple: he chooses "I'm an Asshole" because he's still mentally in high school and he says "well fuck you guys, you can't fire me, I quit!" Basically, he's defiant for complex reasons, manifested in simple ways like that. The gap between actualization and realization are huge. Isn't that why he fascinates so many of us? He's one of the better cows on here for many, many reasons, not the least of which is that he's still a fairly steady producer and he continually rises to the bait, but also because his actions heavily imply that he's got a...tipping point, I guess. A fault line, wherein a single huge stress fracture or multiple smaller quakes might finally cave in his house of lies.

I don't know, I'm rambling I guess. The point is that yeah, I'm with AJM in that I'd like to see him get better, because I think that he can if he's sufficiently motivated to. The problem is that he probably never will be, because it'll be such an insanely uphill climb what with his latent autism and other mental defects. In that respect, I can understand his lack of motivation, because if I came to the sudden realization that my mindset. personality and intellect all needed work to become somewhat stable, and if I topped off my Theory of Mind Frozen Yogurt with some "Gosh I Might Be Genuinely Retarded Chunks", yeah I'd be inclined to throw the whole thing in the trash and eat nothing but Hungrymans forever. The temptation would exist.
 
Sweets, Sweets, Sweets... sigh... Without some tough love from friends and a window in self awareness that hit me out of nowhere, I could've easily been him! I don't hate him, I just know he could do and be better! Easily! But he just doesn't want to. He's not stupid, but no one that he'd ever listen to ever told him that he's not that smart either.

His ego is his biggest problem, one he isn't going to ditch anytime soon! @TheIceCreamMan is right, he never passed along from that brand of '90s Era Safe Rebellion typified by a love of Dennis Leary and shouting loudly about how non politically correct you are he acquired in high school.

I don't pity his ineptitude like I do Dobson. I really think Sweets could be a semi productive member of society if he ever wanted to. The reason why I return to the thred is that I want to see if he'll ever figure it out. And despite knowing he could, I know that he won't. With other people this'd be depressing as fuck, but with Sweets I'm enthralled! Some odd form of Schadenfreude that he would destroy if he ever manned up.

Him continuing on as he has entertains me, him changing for the good would impress me. Either way Sweets will be on my radar as long as he wants to be.
 
atomik fyre said:
@TheIceCreamMan is right, he never passed along from that brand of '90s Era Safe Rebellion typified by a love of Dennis Leary and shouting loudly about how non politically correct you are he acquired in high school.
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But the song's actual lyrics are less a "Take This Job and Shove It" type "Fuck you!" to The Man than a ridicule of the obnoxious tards around us.

I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane
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I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying
"How about this heat?"
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Maybe he just doesn't understand that?

Just the same, maybe it's doubly fitting as his theme song because it was first plagiarized from Louis C.K. :biggrin:

TheIceCreamMan said:
I'm with AJM in that I'd like to see him get better, because I think that he can if he's sufficiently motivated to.
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I guess I should clarify that when I said "Who should?" above I was responding to "If he doesn't, who gives a fuck?" Not "I would like to see Sweet get better."

Lord knows I've tried to help him see the light for a while now.
 
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