🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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He Sets Me On Fire said:
"(Edited to correct the name of the Belushi brother. But then, Jim starred for six seasons in that show with that delightful beauty Courtney Thorne-Smith, so, hey, he's no slouch either, right...?) "

Yes, Jon does read this thread.
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I don't know what's funnier, the fact that he responded or that he actually admitted to watching According To Jim
 
O Gato Preto said:
So Sweetums posted a script for one of his comics.

http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/art/TBDC-LABF01B-638709883
http://archive.is/Fyd75

Seeing it in a legible font doesn't make it any more coherent though...
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"
EP 1102B
Prod No 1201B"

It's a COMIC, Sweet, not a television show. Look, Christian Chandler saw his comic adventures in the same way when he called them "sub-episodes" instead of sub-stories. Do you really want to mimic him?

EDIT: A sampling of the dialogue. The following is addressed to the Jon character.

"MR. BALK
Mr. Sweet, your bishie good looks might be fine for a Joss Whedon-helmed romp, but you're hardly Martin Balk production-caliber. Your acting is more wooden that a cigar-store Indian. (connected, small voice) May I be forgiven for such a politically-incorrect cliche!... (connected) You simply cannot emote, sweetie. No one is going to believe you two are a couple."


EDIT 2: Jon talking about Tin Boo Tee.

"
5.
JON
Oh, she doesn't need to, believe you me! I got a good look at her one day in the caf when she took off that shapeless, baggy sweater she's always got on, doffed those thick librarian glasses, then let down her hair... and I gotta say, , Josh, you are one lucky s.o.b. When she stripped down to just that little white cotton tee underneath, your girlfriend was toned and cut like a little yellow sex goddess. Yowza...!"
 
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Sweet using anime terms is very weird to me.

Anyhow, topix doesn't have a feature allowing you to see a user's past comments but look what Google gave us for NostradamusTheSe er (sic):
Still stalking Dale in 2016.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
I wonder if some small molecules of reality forced their way into his mind when we pointed out to him that Arkansas statutes of limitations have long since voided any civil action that he might bring against ASU, its students, alumni, faculty or staff. Even Haggis McCrablice would find it hard to claim that he's going to sue someone and win when the statute of limitations expired fifteen years ago. I kinda miss those deranged shouts of "We'll let a judge decide, won't we?"
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It's only Sweet's flawed interpretation of events that led to his expulsion that gave him the idea he had a case at all. He's conflating the dismissal from the paper with his expulsion, and he continually misunderstands why he was removed from the paper. He has a child's view of morality. "You did me wrong, so anything I do to you is justified". Even if his dismissal from the Herald was unfounded (it wasn't), he does not deny his four-semester campaign of harassment against those he felt responsible. He simply does not comprehend that even if they were in the wrong, he too was wrong for his actions, and therefore, his expulsion was justified. Furthermore, they gave him a chance to remain, and he refused. Yes, he said it would have cost him $500, but if staying at ASU was so important to him, surely he would have found some way to acquire that amount or negotiated payments. He just can't accept that something is wrong with him.
John Titor said:
Still stalking Dale in 2016.
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Since he's never held a paying job in his life, he doesn't understand how employment works, and thinks because Dale never actually fired him, he was still employed and drawing a salary and therefore Dale owes him money. That's not how it works. Unless Dale didn't pay him for work he'd already done, Dale doesn't owe him shit.
 
John Titor said:
Sweet using anime terms is very weird to me.

Anyhow, topix doesn't have a feature allowing you to see a user's past comments but look what Google gave us for NostradamusTheSe er (sic):
Still stalking Dale in 2016.
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He's still eternally mad that this guy made him do his job, treated him like the employee he was and not the co-manager as he delusionally thought he was, and deal with the darkies.

Yeah, he's just not quite in the mood to cry about how his shitty college kicked him out; he has not and will never change. Only death will give him peace.
 
disco skunk said:
George Orwell once wrote "At 50, everyone has the face he deserves". I never believed it would happen, but Orwell's clearly ridiculously high number in these circumstances forces me to rate him Optimistic.
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Orwell is a pretty cool guy. However, I'm nearly 50 and I got carded at a liquor store the other day. I don't think I deserve this face, but I'm okay with having it.
 
AnOminous said:
Orwell is a pretty cool guy. However, I'm nearly 50 and I got carded at a liquor store the other day. I don't think I deserve this face, but I'm okay with having it.
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Off-topic, but whatever you're doing, bottle it and sell it, and retire before you're 60.
Adamska said:
He's still eternally mad that this guy made him do his job, treated him like the employee he was and not the co-manager as he delusionally thought he was, and deal with the darkies.

Yeah, he's just not quite in the mood to cry about how his shitty college kicked him out; he has not and will never change. Only death will give him peace.
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This is why Sweet will never be able to hold a job. His unwarranted sense of self-importance coupled with his utter ignorance of How Things Work would lead him to assume he's in charge, and would quickly result in his dismissal. I've said it before, but can you imagine Sweet working at some menial position where his boss isn't white? Or even worse, is a woman who isn't white? He would be out on his first day.

I suspect his silence regarding ASU is due to his insistence he'd be back there this fall, after he wrote his expose of the "conspiracy" to oust him. He simply can't grasp that A)everyone knows he plagiarized the damn sketch, and B) even if he didn't, he did engage in a campaign of harassment after he was fired from the Herald. This is documented. If I get fired unjustly from my job (I have), and I go and shoot my former boss in retaliation (I did not, in case you were worried), the fact that I was wronged does not excuse the fact I committed a crime. This truth eludes Sweet, as do many others.
 
zero self-awareness said:
a never-ending twenty-year cycle of outdated notions, bleary nostalgia, flowery tales, lies, and empty promises.
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A more perfect description of Jon Boy was never written.
 
It's like an autistic version of Rashomon said:
First off, there's an e in "Blytheville". Get it right.

Secondly, life is all about exceptions to the rule. That's why happiness is so precious and hard to come by, so treasure it where you can find it, and try to re-create old happiness where it isn't. My work is all about looking for the x factor that was the last truly great and fulfilling time of my life and trying to duplicate that happiness within a small, tightly-controlled environment. There were a number of great things about the nineties, but the thing that I'll always miss was that, while we had trolls, they were, inept, bumbling and stupid, like a cartoon villain. When they tried to pull a prank, it would invariably backfire and end up only rewarding the behavior they set out to punish. For example, putting thirty pennies in a door lock, when only five or six are required, and forgetting to tape them in, so that instead of jamming, they spilled out onto the floor-- when I turned the key, it was like Vegas. And they did this three times that week. If I hadn't been fired so quickly,they'd have continued stuffing my door, never once catching on. I might have been swimming in spare change until spring break. By Easter I'd have made about four clams. By finals, it'd have amassed to eight or nine bucks. It adds up, y'know Dumb trolls. Dumb.

Now, we have faster Internet and YouTube tutorials on how to properly perform the penny prank. Now that they have become tech-savvy, the trolls are far less cute and fun, behaving far more viciously, unscrupulous, and nasty. Progress takes away all my fun. Pffft. Who needs it?
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Oh wow, a dollar a week!
 
Apparently Not Being Medicated After All wrote:

"It's only a matter of time before I find someone to collaborate my stories about ASU."
______________________

That's our former graduate student in English, ladies and gentlemen.

His characterization of pranksters as "trolls" is another lapse in diction that one never encounters in the work of literate people. This modern lingo seems to befuddle The Giant Brain of Blytheville.

His description of pennying a door as putting the pennies in the lock demonstrates a mystifying lack of rudimentary observational skills on the part of a professional journalist who has been a victim of this prank and has seen with his own eyes that the pennies were placed between the door and the jamb. Characterizing the prank as "stuffing my door" is also idiotic in the extreme.

Describing people who penny doors as "tech-savvy" reveals more than the author intends about his lack of knowledge about pretty much everything.

Who writes "I lived amidst it"? A moron with a tin ear and an antiquated vocabulary, that's who.
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I Am Borderline Illiterate wrote:

"I have no regrets except that they ended too son."
______________________

Yep, that's the work of a professional writer whose scribblings have been compared to the works of King and Lansdale.
 
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Progress has provided me, within the past 20 years alone, forms of fun that did not exist previously. Online multiplayer video games, online forums (for the old codgers, remember BBSes and USENET?), streaming video, the sum total knowledge of humanity at my fingertips, all are things I enjoy everyday that wouldn't exist without progress. Get off the internet if you don't like new things you goddamn Luddite.
 
I haven't been to this thread in a few months. Any new happenings? Did he ever take the "diamond" to get appraised? Or just more of the same shit?
 
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