🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[DrJonesHat]

I can't even laugh at him anymore. He's going to die alone, unloved, unmourned and quickly forgotten. And probably soon. Research shows that being angry all the time has a detrimental effect on longevity. Plus he eats like shit, and gets no exercise, so something's gonna explode sooner or later. I doubt that boy goes to the doctor, and even if he did, he wouldn't listen. Just, his life is so joyless, I wonder if he's ever contemplated suicide. As much as we pile on him, I don't want him to die before his time. He could still have a life if he wanted to put the effort into it. Not the one he's fantasized about, but still one he could call his own. The concern for me is that when his grand plan to return to ASU fails as it doomed to, it's going to utterly destroy him. He has staked everything on that pipe dream, and to see it dashed on the rocks will take away the last vestige of hope (false hope really) he has. When that happens, he could very well become violent towards himself, or others. Now, a killing spree against those who played a role in getting him kicked out of ASU is unlikely because those people have either moved on or died, (maybe one or two remain) and he lacks the means to get to them, but he might take out his rage on his family for "not supporting him" or something similar.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I wonder how he autistically came to that conclusion

Despite claiming to be a conservative, Sweet seems to really be against freedom of expression. Sweet threatens people who criticize or mock him with brutal murder. Sweet yearns for the days when journalists supposedly didn't openly disagree with eachother. And of course, he somehow interpreted a quote about thinking outside normal as not deviating from what he was taught.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

"It reminds me of the bit that TheIceCreamMan posted once about Jon, when hearing that his beloved dog was involved in a dogfight outside, ran for his legendary Bludgeoning Weapon of Ambiguous Type and ran outside to defend Fido, just as the fight had ended.

Yup. You read right. Jon’s mom beaten by a group of guys? Hid in the house and let her take the beating. Jon’s dog gets in trouble? Couldn’t get out there fast enough."

Uhhhhhhhhhh... hey, fuckface, where did you get this information? I've never told any such story publically. There was a similar incident at my place a few months back, but as usual you Kiwi idiots got the details completely wrong-- it was my brother, not me, who ran outside with a metal bar when he saw the neighbor's mutt come and try to attack his dog. Are you sons of bitches watching me? Have you got one of your men hanging around my house waiting, observing my every move? Uh-oh. Do you realize what happened? You slipped up. You slipped up baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, pal. You folks slip up a lot, in fact. I have you on record, countless times, slipping up. Fair warning: if I ever catch any of you out near my place, I will not only be happy to slice off your operative's head with an axe, but then tie their body to the back of our car and have them dragged up and down the road until the hide is thoroughly scraped off their bones. Do you understand me, asshole? I hope you do.

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Thumbskull McCoprophagia 10 hours ago Hobbyist Writer
I want to reach out to those that Kiwi Farms propaganda minister Dr. Merkwurdichliebe has identified and dreams of removing, frightening, and exiling from college campuses. I wish to erect a Genosha-type refuge where they can be safe from the bizarre combination of physical and psychological attacks he and his followers advocates for what he dubs "the seventh-sigma outliers".
_____________________________

More signs of a deepening mental crisis.

The idea that I am sitting in my Fortress of Omnipotence plotting to remove people like The Giant Brain of Blytheville from America's college campuses is deranged beyond belief. Does he now believe that I'm the U.S. secretary of education? People like him are removed from college campuses every day with no assistance from me. Plagiarism? Expelled. Stalking? Expelled. Harassment? Expelled. Death threats? Expelled. Conspiracy to have carnal knowledge of a minor? Expelled. Refusal to get a check-up from the neck up? Expelled. And those are just the offenses to which Thumbskull has repeatedly confessed guilt.

The idea that I and my followers (whoever they are) are advocating physical and psychological attacks on criminals like Thumbskull is counterfactual. I merely advocate for incarceration in an appropriately secure facility. Prison? OK. Mental institution? That'll do. The Mold Kingdom? Not really helping. A Genosha-type refuge? Not happening.

It is satisfying to see that The Stalking Horror now self-identifies as a seventh-sigma outlier. This is at least the third time he has done so. Now he just needs to acknowledge that those whose mental problems are seven standard deviations from the norm are, by definition, mentally ill.

No need to go into Pet Killer's usual extravaganza of grammar, diction and punctuation errors. That B.A. in English is definitely the academic equivalent of a participation trophy.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I wonder how he autistically came to that conclusion. A mentally adjusted person would probably take this to mean "try something new" or "don't be prejudice".

I guess the argument could be made that thinking beyond one's definition of normal requires a certain amount of just rolling with things and taking them as they come, but as usual Jon takes it ridiculous extremes and conflates this with never questioning anything and just dumbly taking the path of least resistance. You have to question things to learn! You have to pry apart all those concepts and ideas you're presented with and inspect them from the inside out and see how they work, and the things you learn from this process get added to your body of knowledge to make you a more well-rounded person. Jon, however, has no interest in learning or bettering himself; much like your average farm animal, he's perfectly content as long as there's a full trough of slop for him to gobble down with minimum effort on his part.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, he is the most incurious, intellectually lazy motherfucker I have ever seen.

 

[AnOminous]

Jon, however, has no interest in learning or bettering himself; much like your average farm animal, he's perfectly content as long as there's a full trough of slop for him to gobble down with minimum effort on his part.

That is one sumptuous trough of slop.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

So, hey, I was thinking, should I send all this directly to Mrs. Sweet's FB account as well as the BPD, or is there a better way to contact her (that we, of course, will keep strictly to ourselves in PMs)?

I've been considering printing out some of Thumbskull's death threats and mailing them to his mom at her place of employment so The Giant Brain of Blytheville will have no idea what's going on when she returns from work one day with a pair of lineman's pliers and starts cutting the Internet cables. Having had to drive her autistic manchild to court in the past, she can't possibly know that while she's at work or asleep, he's on the Internet threatening to torture and murder people and raving about "barely legal" girls. She is also certainly unaware that he continues to contact his former classmates from ASU and their employers. She is, however, certainly aware that The Stalking Horror's use of the postal service and the Internet to commit crimes can result in the tragic sinking of the Steam Tug Violent Moon-faced Lunatic and its monthly cargo of welfare money.

I've also considered boosting traffic to Thumbskull's websites by providing links to various organizations and websites whose members might be entertained by Broke Black Mountain and other totally-not-racist works offered for sale by The Bad Boy of College Journalism. It would be interesting to see some of the brothers apply the methodologies of semiotics and deconstruction to works in which black people are drawn as racist caricatures because "that's how they look." Perhaps they would pay the artist a small honorarium if he would join them for an in-depth colloquium on his works.

EDIT TO ADD:

from HaggisMcCrablice
to HSMOF

Fair warning: if I ever catch any of you out near my place, I will not only be happy to slice off your operative's head with an axe, but then tie their body to the back of our car and have them dragged up and down the road until the hide is thoroughly scraped off their bones. Do you understand me, asshole? I hope you do.

Their does not agree with its singular antecedent in number.

Axes do not slice anything. They are used for chopping, which Thumbskull would know if he'd ever done a lick of work in his entire life.

And then there's "out near my place." One, he doesn't have a place, and, two, he never will. And, three, describing it as he does makes it sound like he's talking about the old Sweet plantation instead of a rundown tract house in a seedy subdivision in one of the poorest counties -- and the poorest congressional district -- in the United States.

A person's hide is not attached to the person's bones. In Sweet's case, for example, one would drag the body up and down the road until the hide is thoroughly scraped from the obscenely thick layer of blubber that would be more in keeping with the basic tenets of zoology if found on a walrus.

As HSMOF points out, the idea that Sweet's mommy is going to drag a headless corpse up and down the street at his behest seems a tad far-fetched.

You'd think an English major who writes like Stephen King could make a semi-literate death threat.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I've been considering printing out some of Thumbskull's death threats and mailing them to his mom at her place of employment so The Giant Brain of Blytheville will have no idea what's going on when she returns from work one day with a pair of lineman's pliers and starts cutting the Internet cables. Having had to drive her autistic manchild to court in the past, she can't possibly know that while she's at work or asleep, he's on the Internet threatening to torture and murder people and raving about "barely legal" girls. She is also certainly unaware that he continues to contact his former classmates from ASU and their employers. She is, however, certainly aware that The Stalking Horror's use of the postal service and the Internet to commit crimes can result in the tragic sinking of the Steam Tug Violent Moon-faced Lunatic and its monthly cargo of welfare money.

I've also considered boosting traffic to Thumbskull's websites by providing links to various organizations and websites whose members might be entertained by Broke Black Mountain and other totally-not-racist works offered for sale by The Bad Boy of College Journalism. It would be interesting to see some of the brothers apply the methodologies of semiotics and deconstruction to works in which black people are drawn as racist caricatures because "that's how they look." Perhaps they would pay the artist a small honorarium if he would join them for an in-depth colloquium on his works.

EDIT TO ADD:

 

[TheUltimatePickle]

I've been considering printing out some of Thumbskull's death threats and mailing them to his mom at her place of employment so The Giant Brain of Blytheville will have no idea what's going on when she returns from work one day with a pair of lineman's pliers and starts cutting the Internet cables. Having had to drive her autistic manchild to court in the past, she can't possibly know that while she's at work or asleep, he's on the Internet threatening to torture and murder people and raving about "barely legal" girls. She is also certainly unaware that he continues to contact his former classmates from ASU and their employers. She is, however, certainly aware that The Stalking Horror's use of the postal service and the Internet to commit crimes can result in the tragic sinking of the Steam Tug Violent Moon-faced Lunatic and its monthly cargo of welfare money.

I've also considered boosting traffic to Thumbskull's websites by providing links to various organizations and websites whose members might be entertained by Broke Black Mountain and other totally-not-racist works offered for sale by The Bad Boy of College Journalism. It would be interesting to see some of the brothers apply the methodologies of semiotics and deconstruction to works in which black people are drawn as racist caricatures because "that's how they look." Perhaps they would pay the artist a small honorarium if he would join them for an in-depth colloquium on his works.

EDIT TO ADD:



Their does not agree with its singular antecedent in number.

Axes do not slice anything. They are used for chopping, which Thumbskull would know if he'd ever done a lick of work in his entire life.

And then there's "out near my place." One, he doesn't have a place, and, two, he never will. And, three, describing it as he does makes it sound like he talking about the old Sweet plantation instead of a rundown tract house in a seedy subdivision in one of the poorest counties -- and the poorest congressional district -- in the United States.

A person's hide is not attached to the person's bones. In Sweet's case, for example, one would drag the body up and down the road until the hide is thoroughly scraped from the obscenely thick layer of blubber that would be more in keeping with the basic tenets of zoology if found on a walrus.

As HSMOF points out, the idea that Sweet's mommy is going to drag a headless corpse up and down the street at his behest seems a tad far-fetched.

You'd think an English major who writes like Stephen King could make a semi-literate death threat.

If she cuts down the Internet and the lulz stop flowing I'm going to be mad at you....

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I've been considering printing out some of Thumbskull's death threats and mailing them to his mom at her place of employment so The Giant Brain of Blytheville will have no idea what's going on when she returns from work one day with a pair of lineman's pliers and starts cutting the Internet cables. Having had to drive her autistic manchild to court in the past, she can't possibly know that while she's at work or asleep, he's on the Internet threatening to torture and murder people and raving about "barely legal" girls. She is also certainly unaware that he continues to contact his former classmates from ASU and their employers. She is, however, certainly aware that The Stalking Horror's use of the postal service and the Internet to commit crimes can result in the tragic sinking of the Steam Tug Violent Moon-faced Lunatic and its monthly cargo of welfare money.

You have my sword, sir.

 

[DrJonesHat]

@Dr. Merkwurdichliebe, normally I am against contacting the family of cows, as they are not involved, but since Sweet sees no issue with harassing the employers and family of his victims, I have no problem with it in this case.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Sweetums having his internet privileges revoked sounds hilarious but for the notion that he might actually lash out at his mother for doing so. If he sees it as his sovereign right to post death threats and otherwise act like a creeper online - if he sees that internet connection as his that she's taking from him - there's the possibility he'd try to physically assault her like he's tried to do to his brother. Somehow I don't think his elderly mother would fare as well against his tard rages as Druggie Bro did.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweetums having his internet privileges revoked sounds hilarious but for the notion that he might actually lash out at his mother for doing so. If he sees it as his sovereign right to post death threats and otherwise act like a creeper online - if he sees that internet connection as his that she's taking from him - there's the possibility he'd try to physically assault her like he's tried to do to his brother. Somehow I don't think his elderly mother would fare as well against his tard rages as Druggie Bro did.

I fear you're right. Though I suspect once the other two Brothers Sweet learned of Thumbskull's assault of their dear mother, retribution would be swift and merciless. It's rural Arkansas, justice is often meted out within the family. They might call the cops after they were done.

 

[John Titor]

This is what I think of every time he keeps bringing up his plans for utopia.

In Outer ASU, men become lolcows.

ASU sent me to hell, nobody told me I could go deeper!

Shame he's not going to get the reference and this would have been more fun to do if all his photos weren't taken with a potato.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Sweetums having his internet privileges revoked sounds hilarious but for the notion that he might actually lash out at his mother for doing so. If he sees it as his sovereign right to post death threats and otherwise act like a creeper online - if he sees that internet connection as his that she's taking from him - there's the possibility he'd try to physically assault her like he's tried to do to his brother. Somehow I don't think his elderly mother would fare as well against his tard rages as Druggie Bro did.

In one of his comics, he has shown himself full-bore tard-raging at his mom when she dared to suggest that he get a job, so, yeah, violence is very likely if she dared to end his online crime spree.

On the other hand, it would be interesting to see how members of the New Black Panthers react to his death threats.

EDIT TO ADD:

Here's the comic (courtesy of HSMOF earlier in the thread) in which Thumbskull portrays the mother he claims to love as a shrieking, repulsive harridan who won't shut her damned mouth about him getting a job and giving up his moronic obsession with returning to ASU.

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/57-02-jpg.38012/

Is he capable of harming someone he draws as a loathsome old witch? You decide.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Random favorite:

 

[Adamska]

There is a Trope for this: Seinfeld Is Unfunny.

And here's another example that proves that Jonny can't actually communicate with normal human beings. Rather than actually use phrases and words that the average human being uses, this lump of filth needs to speak like an autistic robot, using terms no on outside of TVTropes would get because he assumes people will instantly understand it. True, only the shaved peak of the iceberg of failure, but still something to note.

I actually had a long response for this, but I decided to just delete it all and boil it down to a simple statement: Most newspapers hire from a pool made up of writers from local colleges.

You mean local shitshows like the Blytheville Courier. Bigger papers like the one your stalking victim works for require actual basic levels of quality as noted by other people here. Again, this flies in the face that newswise the Internet and TV have displaced the paper.

That's why the newspaper business is so nasty and cutthroat.

Based on the less than five months you spent on a resume builder where you only ever published like two articles. All while ignoring that all of the "misfortune" gained from that experience was your fault.

Blogs will never truly replace print.

Keep trying to find completely false excuses to escape from using your English degree for anything resembling a job.

Bloggers have no formal training, they're unpoliced, they're too unprincipled. They're bloggers because, while they may have the skill and possess some ability to write, they don't have the proper temperament for the newspaper business.

I thought it was that the papers are a dying breed with a small employment pool myself. Besides, with this level of alleged incompetence, the role would be perfect for you... you know, if you talked about anything besides your assache and yourself.

You can't teach that in a journalism class. You have it or you don't... and I guess they decided I didn't. That's why I was forced to leave.

It's more like "Can you do research, talk with people, write objectively while looking at several views, and not be a plagiarizing uncreative autist?" Admittedly, you fail horribly at all of these, but that's not why you got kicked.

You got kicked because you acted like an asshole to the staff and then lazily mimicked everything you see, and stayed kicked when you acted out on your sociopathic urges. You got forced to leave for the year's worth of stalking and refusal to take a psych test. It was your fault Jonny.

It's not his business model that's without precedent; it's his beliefs.

Chris has put more effort into achieving his dreams than you ever have, and you had an extra fucking decade to boot.

The attraction sign-- where did that come from? An idea cribbed off some obscure anime? At least my experience with Ashleigh actually happened to me.

Says the retard who is even more uncreative than Chris. And I seem to remember that Ashlaaay was a troll, but we all know you know that... hey did you know Chris had sex? That and the fact he can drive makes him far more of an accomplished human being than you are.

Sure, it seemed strange at first to me , but then I remembered what my old mentor at the Herald told me "You need to look outside your narrow little definition of normal"-- which, to me, meant, "Don't ask questions-- just roll with it".

Only an incompetent sociopathic autistic narcissist would be retarded enough to see a quote that screams "Think outside of the box" as "Be a lazy baby that demands everyone do all the things for you".

I never said it happened to everybody-- I saw it as like being a member of an exclusive little club. I don't know what I did to get this honor, I don't know who put me up for membership, and I never met any other members of the group.

I believe it was your tard wrangler who did it last I checked. This means you would have sat on your ass and watched childrens shows even more without that person. You literally cannot even remember when you first gave a fuck about your position, which proves that you have nothing worth a shit regarding writing and journalism. Fuck, you'd be marginally better off with just focusing on your shitty unreadable comics since you barely give a shit there at least; just get an Idiot Stan Lee to make your Moron Steve Ditko crap readable.

But I've always said when there are goodies are on the table, you don't ask questions, you just grab and stuff your pockets full.

God, I would never invite your gluttonous and greedy ass to a party; you'd be the sack of shit who bogarts all the food.

Now, I look back, and I realize a lot of things about it didn't add up.

That's because getting penny'ed in a room should indicate that people don't like you. Just like how getting trash dumped on you and trolled by a girl should indicate you are a mockery of a man. The fact it took us telling you this proves you just are worthless when it comes to understanding other human beings.

I've dissected the whole experience carefully, and written my findings up for my new book... which I intend to help young college students like myself, when I was just starting out, so none of them have to go through the nightmare I did.

Translation: I'm just gonna sob about the same shit I always do and maintain a grudge that's lasted longer than a lot of people have been alive. I demand pity and cartoons, but I am too retarded to make myself look pitiable and too lazy to make money for a better cablebox. I only prove I am a violent moon faced lunatic and selfish narcissist who deserves no pity. I will die alone and unloved, starving to death in the rotting hovel I call a home due to my mental disorders. Blim blim blim.

I want to reach out to those that Kiwi Farms propaganda minister Dr. Merkwurdichliebe has identified and dreams of removing, frightening, and exiling from college campuses.

You mean autistic and violent sociopaths who refuse to actually learn in an institution designed around it. Really, he seems to be doing a good job based on this criteria.

I wish to erect a Genosha-type refuge where they can be safe from the bizarre combination of physical and psychological attacks he and his followers advocates for what he dubs "the seventh-sigma outliers".

Putting people like you in a gulag would be a service to society, and would be canon to Genosha too, at least in the first incarnation.

Of course, that takes money and some degree of power, which I lack, which is why my work is so important in reaching these unfortunates. I want them to know they have a safe haven, a home, with me.

Get a job you deviant fuck.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

About that time travel comic, what would happen if Sweet actually did travel to the past? A strange out-of-place middle aged man suddenly appears on campus. And what about his past self already there on campus?

 

[Shadow Fox]

About that time travel comic, what would happen if Sweet actually did travel to the past? A strange out-of-place middle aged man suddenly appears on campus. And what about his past self already there on campus?

a) Young Sweet sees himself from the future, is horrified at what a pathetic loser he's destined to become, and immediately changes his ways, becoming a happy and productive member of society [/rates self optimistic]; OR
b) the meeting of the two Sweets creates a chain reaction that destroys the fabric of the space-time continuum. Jonathan Sweet has ruined everything because of his selfishness and inability to let go of the past. Nice going, Sweet.

And greaaaaat, now he has a stinky foot fetish. Is there anything rank or vile that he's not obsessed with? Shit like this makes me wonder if he keeps his house filthy on purpose, just so he'll have a lot of foul odors to revel in. Imagine what their fucking bathroom must be like.

 

[AnOminous]

a) Young Sweet sees himself from the future, is horrified at what a pathetic loser he's destined to become, and immediately changes his ways, becoming a happy and productive member of society [/rates self optimistic]; OR
b) the meeting of the two Sweets creates a chain reaction that destroys the fabric of the space-time continuum. Jonathan Sweet has ruined everything because of his selfishness and inability to let go of the past. Nice going, Sweet.

c) the universe prefers to resolve time paradoxes with as little drama as possible. The space-time continuum is fine but both disgusting Sweet creatures are obliterated as if they never existed. That paradox-resolving spirit? Albert Einstein. Everyone in the universe applauds and then forgets it ever happened.