🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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ToroidalBoat said:
I wonder how frustrating it is to Sweet when people don't act as he predicts?
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Part of it is his arrogance, but part of it is his genuine confusion as to why we're all not doing things that to him, are obvious. He's seriously mystified that those of us who have gone to college didn't have an identical experience, and he's at a loss to explain why. It can't be him, so it must be that he's surrounded by morons.
 
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DrJonesHat said:
Sweet's statements about his hypothetical return to ASU seem to imply that he'll be instantly recognized and given his (imaginary) high status back.
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DrJonesHat said:
Part of it is his arrogance, but part of it is his genuine confusion as to why we're all not doing things that to him, are obvious.
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I would imagine that another part of it must be bull-headed stubbornness (a word with a surprising amount of double letters). We have made it clear to him that his situation was not what he thought it was. I mean, he has accepted this. If Jon was slightly wrong about his salad days in ASU, that would mean that he was wholly wrong about aspects of his experience, and completely unable to factually understand what was happening.

So, okay, if Jon was hypothetically right about his popularity due to his opinion pieces and "funny voices", he was still wrong about "Ashleigh". The problem is that he couldn't simply be 'kind of' wrong about her; Jon misinterpreted her intentions entirely, and then went on to build a conjectural, self-empowering fantasy around that misinterpretation, so much so that he apparently went on to misidentify and harass a woman who wasn't even old enough to attend ASU at the time. He kept charging forward, no matter who told him he should stop, until he ran afoul of us, which should have been a shattering experience. We proved that Jon had been wrongheaded for 15 years.
In fact, we had seen Jon begin to question his experiences, and even defend his dumb conclusions, asking us why, if he were happier with them, would we not let him keep them?

It's my feeling that this exposes a weakness in Jon's thinking (well, one of several, but for the sake of a clearly failing attempt at brevity...). See, it's my belief that Jon knows he has nothing. He's a garbage man, and I don't mean no sanitary engineer. He knows he's weak, unable to do basic things that other adults have mastered by the time they hit their preteens, and more disregarded than unliked, while being very, very thoroughly unliked. Like Christian Chandler, Jon knows that the only way he can make it in life is through someone else's sweat, and he's comfortable with this. What he's not comfortable with is the fact that none but his mother will do the sweating. Even then, she likely limits him, tells him no, keeps him away from the phone for fear of him stalking someone. In his hole in Blytheville, no one is willing to give him things gratis, coddle him, or defeat his 'enemies' for him. He's powerless.

Now, how long has Jon been powerless? All his life? Hey, now, there was this amazing time during his twenties where he was a demi-god ... Unless someone comes along and shows him he wasn't. Which we did. Jon's ASU fantasy is based around the idea that people were willing to service him for little work in return. We hear about cable television and big screen TVs, we don't hear about the loans taken out to pay for the experience. We hear about free pennies from 'fans', we don't hear about long nights of homework and studying for tests. We don't hear about the hard work, dedication, discipline, and lessons learned, we hear about the "goodies" (ugh).

What we have effectively done is shut down Jon's hopes that there are people out there willing to knock themselves out for his benefit, and while that may crush him (or so I can hope. I'd honestly enjoy seeing a video, or just pictures, of Jon crying hot, absinthal tears of abject, spirit-broken despair. Man, that'd be satisfying:biggrin:), he honestly has nothing else to hope for. His greatest aspiration is to return to a place that people look forward to leaving in order to start the rest of their lives. That's why I think he holds on to his fantasies so steadfastly, even though he should know better by now. He's just got nothing else going for him.
 
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As the real world situation around them grows bleaker, the inept just double-down on their hopes that someone, something, in society will trigger and come riding in to save them for all their years of heroic suffering. It's that unshakable belief that sits in the core of the minds of people like Sweet, and OPL, that they are RIGHT and someday, we'll all see when their Fairy Godmother pops out of the woodwork and waves her magic wand and turns all the shit in their life to gold....

It's why it's practically impossible to fix this kind of social ineptness, even if you can prove to them they're making bad choices, they still believe that their faith in their own pure-heartedness means even the bad choices will be vindicated in the end, just you wait!
 
TowinKarz said:
As the real world situation around them grows bleaker, the inept just double-down on their hopes that someone, something, in society will trigger and come riding in to save them for all their years of heroic suffering.
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ADF hopes to find a transsexual-friendly commune, ride a bike, and be a Latina woman.

CWC hopes to find a sweetheart, father Crystal, become a woman, and make it big with Sonichu.

Sweet hopes to "live it up" back at ASU exactly like he did in "half-past 1997."

Despite all their faults, "lolcows" can indeed have very strong hopes, even if they're woefully in vain as time marches on.
 
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Unsurprisingly, Sweet recently uploaded a screencap to dA (instead of art he made himself, which is what dA is supposed to be about) of some cartoon called madcap with a hideous reference to anus.

(please excuse the double post)
 
Bungleboy said:
Sweets is the most easily trolled man on god's own earth
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Can't wait till he figures out that I'm "Dr. Leo Greer." Having that deranged lump of suet sitting on the other side of my desk and alternating between blubbing and making threats was one of the creepiest experiences of my life. His idea that he's some kind of criminally insane Willie Wonka who's found a golden ticket allowing him to return to the Arkansas State University chocolate factory is utter madness on his part. Because of his enthusiastic spree of undergraduate and post-graduate criminal activity targeting the university and its faculty, staff, students and alumni, his file in the records office is five times larger than any other in the school's history.
 
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Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
Can't wait till he figures out that I'm "Dr. Leo Greer." Having that deranged lump of suet sitting on the other side of my desk and alternating between blubbing and making threats was one of the creepiest experiences of my life. His idea that he's some kind of criminally insane Willie Wonka who's found a golden ticket allowing him to return to the Arkansas State University chocolate factory is utter madness on his part. Because of his enthusiastic spree of undergraduate and post-graduate criminal activity, his file in the records office is five times larger than any other in the school's history.
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I so don't care if this is legit and I missed it or something I missed. The idea of Sweets' file being like Bart Simpsons' because he's crazy is totally legit now.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
Can't wait till he figures out that I'm "Dr. Leo Greer." Having that deranged lump of suet sitting on the other side of my desk and alternating between blubbing and making threats was one of the creepiest experiences of my life. His idea that he's some kind of criminally insane Willie Wonka who's found a golden ticket allowing him to return to the Arkansas State University chocolate factory is utter madness on his part. Because of his enthusiastic spree of undergraduate and post-graduate criminal activity targeting the university and its faculty, staff, students and alumni, his file in the records office is five times larger than any other in the school's history.
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This is the greatest thing in the history of the internet, and I will not tolerate any disagreement on this point!
Given his sustained campaign of (t)error against everyone who's ever had the audacity to be better at life than him (so pretty much everyone), I'm surprised Sweet doesn't have his own goddamn file cabinet, or at least a drawer.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
There could be a special room full of evidence of Sweet harassment, with nothing more than that one yearbook photo of Sweet on the door.
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They have a small furnace dedicated to his harrassment letters I reckon.

And I actually can see Jonny mumbling and making croaking noises rather than using actual speech when in front of the desk for doing something that merits prison. Mainly because he's as much of a coward as he is an incompetent jackass.
 
No shit too minor, I guess. It was a fairly tame post about some spicy chips he bought until we get to the end. https://archive.is/dedaT
I love spicy food. Most of my family does-- except my mom, who has to have a couple of antacid tablets handy with even the mildest chili or tamest church potluck fare. A couple of weeks ago I tried Cheez-Its with sriracha, which had such a kick it actually left the top of my scalp sweating. So naturalmente I couldn't wait to try these new chips with "ghost pepper" I bought, hoping it lived up to the hype.

Brother, they did not disappoint. Hot... as... advertised. Within moments my mouth was burning, my eyes were watering, and I felt my head pouring again. Your best best with these puppies is to cram them in two or three at a time and pray your mouth forms a sort of callous so as to numb that initial feeling of pain. That'll work for a while, mind, but then I felt my sinuses rebel on me. My nose was twitching, and I was sneezing fit to be damned. I finished the corned beef sandwich with mustard I made to compliment these little slabs of hellfire and drank about a liter of water to wash 'em down, and then I was good again. Right now I've still got half a bag of homemade horror looking back at me from across the desk, and I have to say I'm about scared to finish it up.

The only thing is, why do they call 'em "ghost" pepper? The only thing I can think of is, after you knock back a couple, your farts smell like something died inside your ass.

(Insert image here)

You'll want to let the john air out a bit 'fore you use it there, princess.
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Can you go 5 minutes without referencing flatulence?
 
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