🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Adamska]

I wonder if Papa Sweet would have kicked Jon's sorry ass out or forced him to get a job?
You have to wonder if Ma Sweet's medical issues aren't caused by the stress of having her mentally ill son mooch off of her and having his laziness cause their home to fall into disrepair.
As a 40-year-old with no job or social obligations, you'd think he could at least keep his house and yard looking presentable, but like a small child, he can't even keep his room tidy.
He's slowly killing his mom.

He's too retarded to even buy a bug zapper from Krogers/Walmart to prevent swarms of mosquitoes from eating everyone. It's basically like buying two new children's movies at worst in terms of price, and he's too retarded and whiny to do even that.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

He's too retarded to even buy a bug zapper from Krogers/Walmart to prevent swarms of mosquitoes from eating everyone.

I think a factor is how once Sweet learns to do something one way, it's just about impossible for him to learn to do it another way or improve on it -- Sweet often says "that's how we were taught" and the like. Sweet probably learned that incandescent light bulbs kill bugs, and so he never bothered to learn about anything more effective. So he sits there, helpless as mosquitoes drink him alive, complaining about how "the progressives took away his light bulbs."

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

He's too retarded to even buy a bug zapper from Krogers/Walmart to prevent swarms of mosquitoes from eating everyone. It's basically like buying two new children's movies at worst in terms of price, and he's too retarded and whiny to do even that.

Hey, wait a minute!

You remember that Black Friday post Jon made last year? The one where he split off with what was apparently an allowance to go by $30 of children's movies?

Couldn't he have used that cash to by a bug zapper?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Hey, wait a minute!

You remember that Black Friday post Jon made last year? The one where he split off with what was apparently an allowance to go by $30 of children's movies?

Couldn't he have used that cash to by a bug zapper?

And abstain from masturbating to underage Disney stars? Not a chance.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

And abstain from masturbating to underage Disney stars? Not a chance.

You know, you just made me realize something.

The only time I ever recall Sweet referring to an adult woman as sexually attractive (Erin Gray, described as "a choice piece of ass") was an adult when he was a child. All the other targets of his disgusting innuendos have been underage actresses or characters. Interesting.

 

[Adamska]

Hey, wait a minute!

You remember that Black Friday post Jon made last year? The one where he split off with what was apparently an allowance to go by $30 of children's movies?

Couldn't he have used that cash to by a bug zapper?

He totally could have and hang it in his room to kill them. It's not as smart as just draining whatever stagnant shit they're breeding in, but it would still help.

And abstain from masturbating to underage Disney stars? Not a chance.

And that's why he didn't.

You know, you just made me realize something.

The only time I ever recall Sweet referring to an adult woman as sexually attractive (Erin Gray, described as "a choice piece of ass") was an adult when he was a child. All the other targets of his disgusting innuendos has been underage actresses or characters. Interesting.

Well that's because he never matured beyond a child emotionally. That and he's a horrible subhuman beast whose broken genome is that apparent when you look at him.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

A new journal . About his father's birthday , a medical scare in the family and making new comic pages:

http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/journal/Mar-18-2016-597490017

I'd feel for the dude if it were anyone else. As it is I just can't help but think "What exactly would he have to be proud about?" Because legit can't think of a single accomplishment that a father could be proud of in Sweet's life. Maybe I'm too jaded.

Work from home? Sitting on your ass, drawing comics you make no money off of and eating shitty food isn't a job. That's just being a wack ass loser. As for opening another shop "so soon after the first tanked" that makes sense. Failing to do anything of note in the years since? Not so much.

Not long ago, Sweet claimed that if Papa Sweet was still around, Sweet's life would be a lot better.

This seems vaild. He would have two parents to mooch off of instead of just one.

You know, you just made me realize something.

The only time I ever recall Sweet referring to an adult woman as sexually attractive (Erin Gray, described as "a choice piece of ass") was an adult when he was a child. All the other targets of his disgusting innuendos has been underage actresses or characters. Interesting.

Ew. Just.... gah.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

As for opening another shop "so soon after the first tanked" that makes sense.

Even that's disingenuous, really. Sweet didn't open the first shop. He was a stockboy at best, not a co-owner, nor even a manager. And even then, he couldn't do his job right, or even be of any service to the shop. By his own description, he was a useless chunk of lard who did nothing but screw up and show his behind (figuratively - I hope!). Sweet's so mind-bungled that he couldn't begin to figure out how to get a vendor's license, let alone deal with tax issues, inventory, customer service, etc.

So yeah, Troy, getting back to your first point, I very much agree: I have no idea why he thinks his dad would be proud of him. His exploits over the last two decades (lack of any forward progress, run-ins with the law, recidivist behavior, picking hopeless fights and backing down in a cowardly manner, being beaten by his younger brother, leeching off his aging mother, posting a shot of a fresh turd he'd dropped for all the world to see, perving after younglings, being too mutton-headed to properly navigate a hospital, pining after a troll, sucking off the taxpayer's teat with nary a thought of paying society back) has made one thing abundantly clear: Jon M. Sweet is a wholly worthless person.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Keep in mind he was so clueless, he literally didn't understand he was the subordinate. He thought he was in charge, which probably explains why Dale was so pissed at him all the time. It's really annoying when the help doesn't understand they're the help. I wonder if he had a similar misconception of his position at the Herald. Not understanding social conventions, like the fact that new people start out at the bottom of the hierarchy, is a symptom of autism after all.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet didn't open the first shop.

Keep in mind he was so clueless, he literally didn't understand he was the subordinate.

Just as Sweet distorted his view of his role at ASU, he distorted his view of his role at the shop, from volunteer worker (Sweet wasn't paid, IIRC) courtesy of Mama Sweet to managing the place with the other guy.

Imagine Sweet at an actual job nowadays. For example, if he got hired as a greeter at WM, he might think he actually owned the store, and he'd treat incoming customers as if that were the case (assuming he didn't just outright scare them away).

 

[DrJonesHat]

Just as Sweet distorted his view of his role at ASU, he distorted his view of his role at the shop, from volunteer worker (Sweet wasn't paid, IIRC) courtesy of Mama Sweet to managing the place with the other guy.

Imagine Sweet at an actual job nowadays. For example, if he got hired as a greeter at WM, he might think he actually owned the store, and he'd treat incoming customers as if that were the case (assuming he didn't just outright scare them away).

Actually, from what I remember, Sweet scared off customers so the shop didn't make any money for him to be paid with. Also, if Sweet got a job now, he would no doubt assume he was in some sort of supervisory role. I've said it before, can you imagine the fireworks if his boss was black? Or worse, a woman, or horror of horrors, a black woman? Sweet is the world's most unjustified narcissist, and he would never take orders from someone he felt was inferior to himself. He thinks a lot of people are inferior to him, despite the fact that the mentally challenged fat guy who empties our office trash and wets himself when he's mad has more money and more control over it than Sweet does. Think about that for awhile. He's also far more pleasant to be around, and has actual useful skills.

 

[John Titor]

When Ma Sweet said "don't open another shop", that was probably not an invitation to never getting a job again.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

job

job

If that one time travel comic is any indication, Sweet doesn't want to get a job, he wants to jump straight to a career.

 

[DrJonesHat]

If that one time travel comic is any indication, Sweet doesn't want to get a job, he wants to jump straight to a career.

And not just an entry-level position, he wants to be in a policy-setting role right out of the gate.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

The light bulb for a bug zapper thing reminded me of another one of the arcane solutions Sweet comes up with for simple tasks: relying on the clock in the DTV converter box instead of just buying a cheap clock at the "newstand."

 

[Adamska]

The light bulb for a bug zapper thing reminded me of another one of the arcane solutions Sweet comes up with for simple tasks: relying on the clock in the DTV converter box instead of just buying a cheap clock at the "newstand."

He's mostly doing that to rationalize away his poor decision making skills I think. On top of that, he genuinely is the type of guy who tries to do the absolute minimum. To use a term he'd be familiar with, Jonny boy's a goldbricker.

And not just an entry-level position, he wants to be in a policy-setting role right out of the gate.

He also doesn't want to do any actual work, especially if it involves interacting with other human beings. He is so entitled he is willing to die in his hovel rather than get the stuff he actually wants, which is all material goods.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

material goods

Sweet also wants to be worshiped as a god on campus after he thinks he'll get that Golden Ticket. Then again, he probably expects to be showered with pranks gifts as well.

In Sweet's mind, the instant he was terminated, people instantly ceased liking him for some unfathomable reason. So he probably thinks that if he were to be let back into ASU, he'd be instantly liked again, like he thought he was before.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet also wants to be worshiped as a god on campus after he thinks he'll get that Golden Ticket. Then again, he probably expects to be showered with pranks gifts as well.

In Sweet's mind, the instant he was terminated, people instantly ceased liking him for some unfathomable reason. So he probably thinks that if he were to be let back into ASU, he'd be instantly liked again, like he thought he was before.

When in fact, he was never liked. Also, he seems to think that people who were one or two at most when he was at ASU the first time would be aware of him now. Of course he also thinks the Herald staff of 1997 is still involved in running the paper today, so that's not surprising. He has a very misinformed view of how the world works, and he thinks he's smarter than everyone else, so I doubt that'll ever change.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I should've linked to this post instead. Whoever this guy is, he's only defending Sweet out of an emotional reaction to this forum. He's on the spectrum and hates us because he sees us as evul autistic haters. Deceptihog became a target here so now this jvonhellsten guy is defending any autistic DA artist that gets in the Kiwi's scope. He's asspatting Sweet, but maybe this guy should learn a bit about Sweet's history.

Herr von Hellsten seems to share a few of Jonathan's issues and probably regards him as a kindred spirit, something that would make Jonathan violently angry.

Von Hellsten writes:

"The city of Aspcville© , founded in the 1200s and separated to the Eastern and Western Aspcville by the Plow River , is the home of about 180,000 people and is the most beautiful city in Aspcverse. Using witchcraft and political corruption , the evil witch Frost has organized demolitions of historically valuable buildings in the city. Frost's final goal is to demolish the city permanently with a destruction similar to The Great Aspcville Fire of 1827 . One day an inhabitant of Aspcville , J. von Hellsten , is told he has supernatural powers and is supposed to be the chosen one to save Aspcville from this forthcoming destruction ... -- Aspc Soundtrack Project™ is an Album Oriented Rock concept intended to be the soundtrack for this grandest of adventures ..."

Bad writing. Trademarking and copyrighting non-existent companies and made-up words in his stories. Writes like a graduate of the Jonathan Sweet Let Me Teach You How to Write Good School of Fiction and Canine Proctology.

But best of all? Herr Johan von Hellsten, Sweet's only fan, seems to be some random, autistic gay guy from Europe. Johan needs to understand that Jonathan "I Ain't No Homo" Sweet would work him over with a bone knife if they ever met in person.

I don't usually follow Sweets because he gives me a headache, but his "fan" found my troll account I use to keep tabs on Deceptihog:

Just thought I'd share & keep you guys posted if anyone was interested.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

It's a lead-pipe cinch that Sweet Sr. was right 100 per cent of the time. Jon's never right about anything.


The last two decades have clearly demonstrated that he shouldn't have supported Jon, shouldn't have been proud of Jon, and would have abandoned such feelings by now were he alive today.


Uh-huh. And Jon had a hot girlfriend in college.



So, basically, Jon was never original, and never funny. Sheesh.


I would be more sympathetic, but this post, in addition to a previous post he made sometime back, does less to show a love for his dad than it does to say "Poor me." He doesn't say anything about, say, the stuff he did with his dad, or his smile, or anything like that. It's all about Jon. What he does say is that his dad was proud of him and supported his dreams, but later on, he mentions that his mother discouraged him from starting another shop. It's kind of evident through this whole post that Jon is trying to make himself seem important, (read relevant) to his 'family,' which, in his household, consists of his mother.

Check out his passively self-congratulatory attitude about his presence at his house.


By doing what? Average chores that would barely serve as a challenge to a nine-year old?



Sweet does not work, thus he does not make his own hours. He sits around, stuffing himself with lard on the taxpayer's dime, listening to right-wing blather and dreaming up silly revenge schemes over horribly mis-percieved slights.



He doesn't need that much leeway.



Yes, because she knew that Jon was hopelessly incompetent, and that any attempt on his part to open a can of corn without someone thoroughly explaining it to him would result in fire and jail. Opening another shop - something that Sweet cannot figure out how to do to this very day - would be a complete waste of time.



She'd survive in perfect health, without her cowardly son watching in terror, waiting for it all to go away before calling 911. There'd likely be less risk with Jon away at the time of crisis.

He also discusses his recent output:



He ... what?

Okay, "research and data-gathering"? Two ways of saying the same thing. He's putting this information together
"for the apology" to a book he's supposed to have put out quite some time ago. What's the apology for? You're guess is as good as mine.

Oh, of course, it goes without saying: Red, Yellow, and Blue will be garbage and won't sell.


An easy fix if Jon had any competence with computers or their applications. Sadly ...

Nicely done, HSMOF.

Normally, any human would empathize with someone writing about how much they miss their dad on the anniversary of his death.

But Sweet's lament sounds more like the work of someone who understands that he is supposed to miss his dad and is attempting to play the role of grieving son despite having not a fraction of an ounce of of actual human feeling for any other person on the planet. Sweet has been criticized on this site at some length for the way he treats his mother, writes about his mother, and draws his mother, whom he clearly cherishes as a combination of several major household appliances, an ATM and a driving machine.

I think that his comments about his dad are a failed attempt to pass himself off as human on DeviantArt, an attempt that fails because what he most misses about his dad is not his fatherly wisdom, not his loving personality, not the bonds of devotion they shared, but is instead his dad's "support." Which sounds a lot like "funding" to me. The entire sham comes across as the written equivalent of Sweet sitting in front of a mirror and attempting to contort his face into expressions similar to those that people have told him are used to express emotion. It ain't working. The only genuine emotions I've ever seen him express are fear, lust and tardrage.

As to his "helping out" during the non-emergency medical emergency, remember the last time he "helped out"? It was more than a decade ago that he "reluctantly agreed to accept a small government stipend" in order to "help out" at home. What did he do this time? Carry his dirty underwear to a basket by the washing machine? (Admittedly, this task would rank as one of the labors that Hercules himself would decline to perform.) The only area in which Sweet has experience that might have been of benefit in a medical crisis would involve his expediting hospital procedures by sending death threats to doctors, nurses and lab techs.

I, too, am surprised that Sweet is writing an apology. Maybe he's going to apologize to his millions of readers because Red, Yellow, and Blue is hitting the shelves at Barnes & Noble -- and the bestseller lists -- years after it was originally scheduled for publication. Possibility No. 2 is that he doesn't know the meaning of the word apology.