🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[TheUltimatePickle]

Hey, I remember that. What were the specifics again?

It's funny how Jon has said some genuinely revolting and sickening things, but thinks we get mad at him for wanting to pursue his stupid wishdreams. Dude abandoned his mother, looks at women like children, and cheers on black people getting shot, but thinks we get angry at him for wanting to go back to ASU.

It's also really interesting how butthurt he gets that we get angry at him. Poor baby.

You make it sound so A-loggy. I don't think anyone is mad at him.

The thing is there are plenty of cowards, woman haters, and racists out there but the ASU thing is just so hilariously bizare.

It's what makes him a lolocow.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

The bizarre delusions he has about ASU and thinks he can still go back is what makes him a lolcow. Even Chris realizes the gal pals were just paid to hang out with him.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

You make it sound so A-loggy. I don't think anyone is mad at him.

The thing is there are plenty of cowards, woman haters, and racists out there but the ASU thing is just so hilariously bizare.

It's what makes him a lolocow.

Oh, no, nobody's really angry at him. What I mean is that Jon misperceives (or deliberately misinterprets) our criticism as anger, and then seems to be afraid of it. "You get mad if I say this, you get mad if I do that." It's like he's scared of our response.

 

[TheUltimatePickle]

Oh, no, nobody's really angry at him. What I mean is that Jon misperceives (or deliberately misinterprets) our criticism as anger, and then seems to be afraid of it. "You get mad if I say this, you get mad if I do that." It's like he's scared of our response.

I gotta stop posting before I fuel the fight with Monster and Dew in the morning.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

1- Yay he quoted me. Finally.

2- I like that he goes on about his Old Man Hangouts without addressing the biggest issue of all. What college aged woman wants to hang out with 40 Year Old Virgins like Sweets? You can keep out all the "weirdos" and "barely legal bettys" (whatever that means), great. Doesn't change the fact that no college student would want to hang out with the creepy old guy on campus.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

He thinks Rodney Dangerfield movies are documentaries?

 

[Shadow Fox]

He thinks Rodney Dangerfield movies are documentaries?

Either that or how-to guides.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

No, merely asking them to take responsibility for their part in our dispute. And I haven't seen my brother since he started rehab. They tell me he's doing well.


Thank you. You don't go out of your way to be hostile towards me or insult my art, so I repaid the favor. Don't make me sorry.

Plans for moving forward:

• Cleaning out and moving into the guest room. I'll have more room, and we can start repairing the wall and roof soon as we have more money coming in.
• Buy a new computer after I move to my new room. That will increase my productivity dramatically. More stories, more books, more comics, more money.
• Writing letters to my former business partner, my ex-girlfriend, and the 1997 Herald editorial staff, carefully discussing my grievances with them and asking what I did to make them want to hurt me. If I knew what I was doing wrong on my last three jobs, it might go a long way towards helping me in future ones.
• Get back into the Melaleuca sales game. I like the product, I like working at home, and I like being my own boss.
• See a doctor about my throat, eyesight, and carpal tunnel syndrome problems.

Next year. Red, Yellow, and Blue. Look for it.

So, how them plans for moving forward coming along, ya think?

 

[The I Scream Man]

So, how them plans for moving forward coming along, ya think?

Lets peer into the Doggy Viewing Pool, which is white and fluffy and looks surprisingly like a bowl of water, shall we?

- Perhaps he cleaned it out and moved into the guest room, perhaps not. I highly doubt any repairs have been done to anything, because I doubt any new money has been brought in from anywhere. He could do it himself if he was useful at all, since the materials to do it probably won't be very much and all the cost will be in labor.
- I'll bet he bought a new (to him) computer, but I doubt it increased his productivity measurably.
- This I can actually see him doing, but it will all be for naught if A. they don't respond and it goes directly into the garbage, and B. if he rejects their responses out of hand.
- This is a giant waste of time. The product actually ain't that bad, but he doesn't work, and he can't sell anything because he's a shut-in awful hermit man.
- I hope he did this, but unless he corrects the fundamental problems (gross house and horrible habits) then it won't get any better.

 

[Le Bateleur]

EDIT: this long post is long and it took me so long to pull together that I got ninja'd by @TheIceCreamMan's post. Brevity is the soul of wit, and his is far more soulful than mine.

So, how them plans for moving forward coming along, ya think?

Sweet Bro posted his "plans for moving forward" on November 3rd 2014. Almost 11 months later, let's see how he's done...

• Cleaning out and moving into the guest room. I'll have more room, and we can start repairing the wall and roof soon as we have more money coming in.

To use Sweet Bro's most favourite word: progress! Sort of. As of September 3rd 2015

I've been sacking out on an air mattress in the guest room for a couple weeks because that old lumpy inner-spring monster I've got is killing my sore back. I haven't decided if I want to move there permanently or not, but my back is feeling better.

This puts our hero's decampment to the guest room at mid-August, a mere nine-and-a-half months after he stated his intentions. In the time it would take for a new human life to be conceived, carried and birthed into the world, Jonathan M. Sweet has suceeded in moving his place of sleeping from one room in his house to another. Perhaps by the time our hypothetical baby could have learned to walk, speak, or perhaps drive an automobile, Sweet Bro might get round to addressing the roof. For reference, the roof looks like this:

Success rating: /

• Buy a new computer after I move to my new room. That will increase my productivity dramatically. More stories, more books, more comics, more money.

Sweet did buy a new laptop in the Black Friday sale. However, in March 2015 he posted this comment on a Youtube video, suggesting that all might not be well with the newfangled technology:

Sweet's productivity has improved to some extent. He's had a very active summer on DeviantART, recently moving from a weekly to a semiweekly blog update schedule. We've seen some newly uploaded editions of The Belch Dimension. Sadly, though, the "more money" part seems to have eluded him. While Christian Weston Chandler is receiving $1,000 donations to work on Sonichu, customers continue to stay away from Jon's comics which cannot actually be bought online and are full of racism.

Success rating: I'll be generous and give /

• Writing letters to my former business partner, my ex-girlfriend, and the 1997 Herald editorial staff, carefully discussing my grievances with them and asking what I did to make them want to hurt me. If I knew what I was doing wrong on my last three jobs, it might go a long way towards helping me in future ones.

I know he wrote at least one of these letters, to his "former business partner", so I'll assume he wrote the others as well. Six points for effort. Minus one point for implying that he considered having a girlfriend as one of his last three jobs, and minus two points for not seeing why people might want to hurt the sort of person who'll continually bother them with detailed letters about 20-year-old greivances.

Success rating: A-U-T / A-U-T-I-S-M

• Get back into the Melaleuca sales game. I like the product, I like working at home, and I like being my own boss.

No mention of Melaleuca sales, so at least Sweet has succeeded in not getting suckered once again by a multi-level marketing scheme for products of dubious efficacy. A win by default is a win nonetheless.

Success rating: /

• See a doctor about my throat, eyesight, and carpal tunnel syndrome problems.

A new pair of glasses appeared in the summer, suggesting at least some effort on the health front. No news on the throat or the carpal tunnel - although Sweet's work desk looks far from ergonomical and seems a likely contributor to the latter ailment.

Success rating: /

Next year. Red, Yellow, and Blue. Look for it.

From what I can glean, Red, Yellow, and Blue is meant to be an omnibus edition of The Belch Dimension, bringing together all three volumes of the "Sweet Tart Saga" (where his knockoff underage Sailor Moon investigates an idealised version of the events that got him an IRL bann from ASU) with some extra authorial wangst about Sweet's feelings.

The comics are already written (and published on Sweet's dA), and over the past 18 years Sweet has written inch upon inch of copy about how hurt he was to be ejected from college. Since all of the essential material for this magnum opus of butthurt appear to be readily to hand, it is a source of consternation that Red, Yellow, and Blue - along with two other books Sweet thinks he'll publish - has had its publication date pushed back every year since 2011.

As of May 2015, we can now expect Red, Yellow, and Blue in "2016", but The Face of Burgess Goldstein will be with us by the end of this year.

Given Sweet's past track record of Axl Roseing his publication dates, I'm going to rate this last intention a full five Tommies Wiseau out of five:
/

 

[autism420]

I'm legitimately surprised that no one has pulled an Asperchu on Sweets. If I were a better artist I would be so down. What would be a good name for this hypothetical fan comic? I was thinking "The Fart Zone".

 

[Pizza The Hutt]

Those cobwebs in his room are huge. I don't know the average rate of growth on cobwebs but those look like they have been there for a decade at least. The one is less than a foot away from where I imagine he spends 90% of his life, just reach out with a towel and wipe that shit away.

That level of laziness is unbelievable!

 

[Holdek]

I wonder what Papa Sweet would think of Sweet if he were still around?

Pretty much the same as Papa Chandler would think of Chris if he was still around.

I am literally more terrified of cockroaches, because at least they present an immediate threat (disease, infestation, just being fucking filthy, etc.).

All of those characteristics can be applied to Sweets as well.

 

[The I Scream Man]

HEY

@Le Bateleur I don't fucking cotton to that kind of bullshit around here.

Don't you EVER, ever say that about your posting. Longposts are a family tradition around here and I will not see them denigrated.

Brevity may indeed be the soul of wit, dear sir, but there are subtleties and deep, layered nuance in your post that mine lacks. My post is great for us: we already know the score and can fill in the blanks, but yours...your post is good for everyone, because the newcomer to our particular vintage of autism can't fully grasp the flavor profile without posts like yours.

I know I'm writing a lot of words about nothing here, but for real and for true I tell you that the longposts are what make this thread great, as my man HSMOF and the good Doktor would tell you. Don't say, even in jest, that yours wasn't excellent.

E: I mean for gods sakes yours had sources! That's quality content right there! That is why our thread here is one of the best on the Farms, because we lack shitposts and encourage depth and breadth in our postings.

 

[Ruin]

I'm legitimately surprised that no one has pulled an Asperchu on Sweets. If I were a better artist I would be so down. What would be a good name for this hypothetical fan comic? I was thinking "The Fart Zone".

The retch dimension?

 

[melty]

The walls and ceiling in the sweet household are truly disturbing. Are those really cobwebs? We used to have an abandoned house on our property, outside in the woods with many wildlife and insects. Door was gone, a lot of wildlife hid out inside. There weren't even that many spider webs in that place as I see here.

 

[Pizza The Hutt]

The walls and ceiling in the sweet household are truly disturbing. Are those really cobwebs? We used to have an abandoned house, outside in the woods with many wildlife and insects. Door was gone, a lot of wildlife hid out inside. There weren't even that many spider webs in that place as I see here.

That is what I was getting at. You have to actively TRY to let cobwebs get that big. This is years of habitation without moving furniture or opening a window.

Imagine the smell in there...My guess is a mixture between sour milk and that weird, earthy smell dirt floor basements have.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

EDIT: this long post is long and it took me so long to pull together that I got ninja'd by @TheIceCreamMan's post. Brevity is the soul of wit, and his is far more soulful than mine.

No way, man. I agree with my colleague @TheIceCreamMan . You put a lot of detail in that post and knew what you were talking about (as did he, certainly, not to take away from his post at all), and added references. Long posts rock.

You know what I noticed? Sweet doesn't do anything to address the situation around him at all, he just focuses on his comfort. Okay, so, he put an air mattress in the guest room. Fine. That takes care of his back problems. Did he clean the room out? Didn't say. Did he do anything to address his disaster of a room? Clearly not. There's no long-term for Belch, merely short-term.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet did buy a new laptop in the Black Friday sale. However, in March 2015 he posted this comment on a Youtube video, suggesting that all might not be well with the newfangled technology[...]

As I've said several times before, he was also wating for a "geek from tech support" to figure out the CD burner in it at one point. And like it was speculated earlier in the thread, it seems that the Sweet computers in the Sweet house are shared computers, as Sweet was complaining that his "life is on hold" when others are using it/them and he can't.

And his whole damn life revolves around a computer that's not even his.

Sweet keeps Belch Dimension stuff in:

[C drive]My Documents\Jon's Comic Files\BDC E-books

The fact that he has to specify his name instead of just calling it "Comic Files" is probably further evidence that he's on a shared computer.

 

[Holdek]

I was watching this video on YouTube, and, apropos, the part starting at 3:57 seemed to be describing Sweet as well. (The primary subject of the video has very little to do with him, though ).