I met SBF

[tehpope]

I saw Sam Bankman-Fried at a grocery store in Berkeley yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

 

[Amaranthy]

I know this story is fake as shit cuz SBF only eats KitKats not Milky Ways

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

Pretty sure he'd be playing league of legends while grocery shopping dude, all the hip execs do these days

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

I once met SBF at an ice cream store. It all started with me waiting in line behind some kid who was ordering a sundae. Just as the kid was about to get his ice cream, SBF walks up to the counter wearing a large trench coat like he owns the place. He takes the kid's ice cream, causing him to cry, and everyone starts yelling at him for it. So he reaches into his trench coat pocket like he's about to pull out a gun and start blasting people. But instead of a gun, he pulls out a yellow bottle of French's mustard. He pours the contents of that bottle all over the sundae until it's dripping on the floor and proceeds to slam it into his face like a clown eating a pie. We all watched in horror and disgust as he loudly smacked his lips and shouted "Tastes like yummy!" He then threw the kid a crumpled up certificate worth exactly one share of FTX and walked out the store.