How would you speed run getting your own thread?

[Catler]

You wake up tomorrow and decide it’s about time you got your very own KF thread.

How do you go about doing this in the least amount of time?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Please don't rate Cucky's posts dumb or autistic, thank you | Kiwi Farms

(poor Cucky took a joke too seriously and cared too much about stickers)

 

[Soycast Guy]

Fuck you chuds I’m a woman now. Refer to me as wo/man. Wait…

 

[SneedYstwyth]

PLing like a spastic and interacting with lolcows. Stare too much into the abyss etc etc.

 

[Chantal's Hijab]

Launch a civil suit against Null, both his corporations and him personally, and have the papers served by a Furry.

Film the entire thing and put it on YouTube.

 

[Norbert the Tiger]

I think @Oakly Sellers|SpookBlook has shown the path to that dubious undertaking. I doubt it is possible to have have a shorter time between registration and getting a thread. Between post and thread I would think @OrsonZedd but I imagine there are others who did it faster.

 

[XANA]

I forgot who it was, but there was some moron who made his own thread here like two months ago and made fun of his deviantart shit. It actually took 2 pages before someone realized that the OP was the lolcow in question.

It was a weird promo of his YouTube page and whatever project he was doing.

 

[Chantal's Hijab]

It was a weird GENIUS promo of his YouTube page and whatever project he was doing.

 

[Maverick Vile]

I'd probably start playing with either Legos or model trains. Definitely record and upload everything, and if something comes to mind and that little voice in the back of my head says "that's probably oversharing a little bit," I kick that fucker in the dick and say it anyway.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

id identify as trans then put videos of myself on youtube where i go out in public and yell at people, mainly women, for not respecting my identity.

 

[Bargain Bin Laden]

Record my suicide.

 

[DumbDude43]

making lots of Q+A threads seems like a good start

 

[Blouie]

Cutting off my dick, shaving my head, get a trans face tattoo, post videos of me shitting in diapers, and lust for children on Twitter.
That'll probably get people to shit on me pretty fast.

 

[Day Drinking]

Lot of people saying trooning is the answer. Very thunk provoking.

Apparently playing Genshin Impact on Twitch and talking about how women should be raped by dogs on Twitter seems like a good start. Maybe attack another lolcow after posting enough to grab the attention of someone here. Plant accounts with the same username across multiple sites like e621 and inkbunny and favorite fucked up pictures. Leave a bunch of breadcrumbs like that.

Gotta give something to dig into, otherwise it's just another tism on the Internet.

 

[Invincible Wheel]

Starting a YouTube live video, linking it here an then shooting yourself

 

[JethroTullamore]

Troon out and sign up for Twitter.

 

[Catler]

Troon out and sign up for Twitter.

Surely people would see through the act though? Unless your heart was really into it you’d slip up.

 

[JesusChristDenton]

Become an irredeemable furfag/weeb sex pest degenerate, start uploading every single little detail about my life on the internet, possibly sign up to KF to own the dang dirty trolls. When a page is inevitably made, start screaming and crying about "muh harassment and cyberbullying".

 

[vomitusdeux]

I'd commit a hilarious but fucked up crime, like putting banana peels in front of stairs, I would make these videos viral and I would be known as the "banana peel stepper" and I'd challenge KF to dox me based on my videos, and cry and have a public meltdown when they dox me in literal minutes because I'm a fag with no opsec. And I'd do more outrageous and criminal things until my thread comes out of prospering grounds and I become a full on lolcow all because I thought tripping people on stairs was funny, now I'm jerking off those same bananas on camrera for youtube ad revenue.

 

[Rozzy]

Using the same or similar usernames/email addresses for your KiwiFarms account that you use for your social media, seems a speed-run way of getting you own thread.