How to repel women?

[Fat Gollum]

Every time I go outside every woman who sees me instantly becomes mesmerized by my impressive physique, deep blue eyes, and chisled jawline. They swarm around me like a cloud of mosquitos, trying to feel my muscles and tug at my soft golden locks. Despite their advances, I stay faithful to my trad wholesome latinx boiwife Miguel. I've tried to report these women to the police but they never take me seriously, saying things like "wish that were me". I figured you guys are like experts at repelling women, so I'm asking for your help so I can walk in public without being constantly gawked at or harassed ever again.

 

[DoubleMint]

Pretend to be a nazi troon,

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

Fart on them.

Do not apologize.

 

[Glowie]

Every time I go outside every woman who sees me instantly becomes mesmerized by my impressive physique, deep blue eyes, and chisled jawline. They swarm around me like a cloud of mosquitos, trying to feel my muscles and tug at my soft golden locks. Despite their advances, I stay faithful to my trad wholesome latinx boiwife Miguel. I've tried to report these women to the police but they never take me seriously, saying things like "wish that were me". I figured you guys are like experts at repelling women, so I'm asking for your help so I can walk in public without being constantly gawked at or harassed ever again.

Gain weight preferably 300 pounds at bare minimum, talk to yourself in public, argue with yourself, talk in third person every time woman gawks at you, stare back reach out to them while gurgling out "My precious" Women line up to get restraint orders instead.

You're welcome, OP

 

[Big Brutus]

Talk about women are ungrateful cunts because they won't let you fuck them on the first date.

 

[Druish Space Lasers]

Fart on them.

Do not apologize.

That's how I met my wife.

 

[N1993R K1LL4H]

Take a fat dump on the roadside, eat a ton of spices, have bad hygiene, be inarticulate, whip your dick out every now and then

 

[AnsemSoD1]

Show them your wierdly stained collection of Highschool DxD figurines.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

The fastest I've ever moved away from a man was when some Indian guy blasted me with rancid curry breath while asking me a question at work, so I'd recommend neglecting oral hygeine and eating more ethnic food.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Take alpha male dudebro youtubers advice.

 

[Biker]

wear kiwi farms merch and bring up lolcow in real life.

 

[dick brain]

Tell them about your workout routine.

 

[Sean Shemmy]

Wear a Weezer shirt and act retarded and bring up your autistic slop only you care about. Weezer fans have no sex, so you most likely won't have to do the other two.

 

[Druish Space Lasers]

Wear a Weezer shirt and act retarded and bring up your autistic slop only you care about. Weezer fans have no sex, so you most likely won't have to do the other two.

I'm tired of having sex. So tired.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

Have you tried being yourself?
That's how I keep the women at bay.

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

Play No More Heroes

 

[Maude Snew]

Fart on them.

Do not apologize.

No good, I'm now married to Niki Robinson, send help.

 

[mannic]

have you tried being a woman?

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

study computer science. there is nothing that dries a vagina up faster than telling a woman you are a CS major.

 

[Agares]

Anger issues and croquet mallets.