How to get a goth gf

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Are you using Tactical Soap?

Cobra always hears "that Goth dude smells good" from alive, of-age, cisgendered, unrelated women. If it weren't for Tactical Soap his seven-year dry spell would be decades longer.
 
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I remember trying to lure some Goth chick into bed and she was being coy. I wasn't goth but Punk Rock, but it turned out that she liked to make out with other chicks at parties and encouraged the men watching into jerking off while she made out. Happened a few times from what she told me.

That's a weird fucking fetish, man.
 
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Goth girls are gone, the hot ones you see are just thots exploiting yet another subculture for simpbucks, the fat ugly ones are BPD dangerhairs who will accuse you of rape
Negrate said:
and don't yet have my own car to go there
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Nigga are you underage? how you dont have even a shitbox in murrica? when I was there you couldnt even go to the atm without a car unless you lived in the bughives
 
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Cool Dog Returns said:
Goth girls are gone, the hot ones you see are just thots exploiting yet another subculture for simpbucks, the fat ugly ones are BPD dangerhairs who will accuse you of rape

Nigga are you underage? how you dont have even a shitbox in murrica? when I was there you couldnt even go to the atm without a car unless you lived in the bughives
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im 18 but still schooling i might get one soon but i would have nothing wrong with a fat BPD girl im into egirls or BPD girls or whatever the new term is basically colored hair chains eyeliner
 
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Do you know which albums Cure put out in the 80s and 90s? Do you know why Ian Curtis committed ack? Can you fake being frail and androgynous while being manly man underneath the baggy clothes (and makeup)? Can you fake being depressed, full of teen anguish, resentful and full of emotions, while being strong and supportive underneath?
If yes, you might have a chance.
Also, are you white
 
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"Sacking Rome" is the meme answer that's been beaten into the ground, so I'll avoid it.

Instead, I'll point out that the last place any East Germanic (i.e. Gothic) language was known to be spoken was in the Crimea, where it's attested as late as the 17th century. And that it's also the site of an active territorial dispute.

So if you *really* want to get a Goth girl's attention, go and sack Sevastopol.
 
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AgendaPoster said:
Do you know which albums Cure put out in the 80s and 90s? Do you know why Ian Curtis committed ack? Can you fake being frail and androgynous while being manly man underneath the baggy clothes (and makeup)? Can you fake being depressed, full of teen anguish, resentful and full of emotions, while being strong and supportive underneath?
If yes, you might have a chance.
Also, are you white
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"Wrap yourself in black, listen to The Cure" Checks out. This is the only way. You must become goth to get goth gf.
 
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Listen to goth or goth adjacent music - The Cure, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus are the basics. Watch some horror movies, or goth favorites. All the young ladies like Nightmare Before Christmas, and I think old Tim Burton like Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands still has fans. Go to shows. Wear black.

If shes not into any of those things, she's not a goth, just an egirl poseur. Throw money at her.
 
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