How should we greet new users?

[BanquetMegaBowl]

i would like to hear your lovely ideas

 

[Pee Cola]

Spoiler: Greet them with autism

10 INPUT "Are you a niggerfaggot in a cage? Y/N";answer$
20 IF answer$="Y" PRINT "Welcome niggerfaggot!" ELSE PRINT "Argh!! Niggerfaggot on the loose!!!"
30 END
RUN

Spoiler: Is this a real BASIC program?

 

[Postal_Rat]

With unrelenting violence!

 

[Table Country]

Like this:

Take a hike—to Kiwi Farms!
Home of Challenge Flipping! That's right!
Challenge Flipping!
How does it work?
If you can backflip off a six story building without getting injured
You won't get a pink triangle!

 

[Agarathium1066]

With soap in a sock all together at once.

 

[White_N]

They should be greeted with the question: do you love the State of Israel?

 

[Obi Wan Kenobi]

"Welcome newfren, enjoy your stay"
"Go fuck yourself newfag"

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Show them the door?

 

[Ewan McGregor]

The same as I was greeted.

With a rain of negrating and a deriding comment.

Thanks, @Neurotypical Mantis

 

[Kosher Dill]

 

[TomServo]

Mute them for their first 30 days. If they stick around then they'll have basic idea of how shit runs here. If they don't then no hard loss. Or just call them a nigger/faggot and move on.

 

[Meat Target]

A basic test on Christory.

 

[Shidoen]

Just take example from our favorite scapegoat. They say a picture speaks a thousand words but you know which ones I’m talking about:

 

[$80 Nude Haircut]

 

[doodoocaca]

Make them watch Gayniggers from Outer Space and complete a short quiz on the matter.

 

[scallion]

@Revo used to do it for us but he got exposed as a gypsy nigger

 

[RussianParasite]

They must be forced to watch at least one full episode of Infowars and send a report to the mods discussing what they liked and disliked about it. They are allowed to post afterwards.

 

[Ronnie McNutt]

they have to take a DNA test, if the results come in as italian they get denied or they can take the other route and have their fulldox as signature on every post

 

[Gentlebastard]

Make them take turn in an essay about why the latest MATI episode was great, even if it's nothing but three hours of Jersh saying that he'd hit Amy Schumer if she would shut up for ten minutes. Also, a basic infosec quiz.

Failing at any one of those means you do not get posting privileges. A new attempt can be made in a week.

 

[Justtocheck]

I've said it many times. Fuck hazing. If you want a fun Kiwifarms, our community cannot stand alone and isolated. Let's be nice and helpful to new users so that we can have a good ecosystem that supports us and our interests. Without useful new blood, we will wither away and die.