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im the same. it started when there was this larp (i think at least) on twitter complaining that "wypipo can say nigger in dey heads" so i started doing it, and later it became an obsession to do so. this involves the same things you do, by replacing random lyrics with "nigger" and such.I just constant say nigger to myself these days. Whenever I get cut off I think “what a fucking nigger”. Whenever I sing to myself, I often replace random lyrics with the word “nigger”. Even when I go out for a run I just say to myself “Nigger Nigger Nigger”