How long does it take you to nut?

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JethroTullamore

JethroTullamore

Continuing the Irish tradition of alcoholism
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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Jun 11, 2016
When you have a little special alone time with yourself, how long does it take you to “finish?”

30 seconds? 5 minutes? An hour?

Let us know here.
 
Solution
C
I treat it like an olympic sport, like I'm preparing for an endurance marathon. So far my record is 47 minutes, 29 seconds. I average 40 minutes 2 seconds.

Someday when they add it the the olympics I'll be the champion.
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Usually a while. You have to be really careful about opening walnuts, they have this brown juice that is almost impossible to get out of clothes, not to mention skin. I often like to grab a pair of thick rubber kitchen gloves like the ones you use to wash dishes and place the walnut against a flat, low surface like a tree stump or picnic table. From there, you can crack it open however you'd like as long as you make sure to avoid sending debris back onto yourself as it can often result in very small stains from the oil trapped within those little bits of shell.

The only downside about using heavy-duty gloves is that they're kind of a pain to get on and off quickly, so I end up just gathering up batches of walnuts and cracking them all at once as opposed to doing it individually. Thankfully, walnuts are tasty enough to justify the extra effort.
 
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Super Dilator Duel 3D said:
Usually a while. You have to be really careful about opening walnuts, they have this brown juice that is almost impossible to get out of clothes, not to mention skin. I often like to grab a pair of thick rubber kitchen gloves like the ones you use to wash dishes and place the walnut against a flat, low surface like a tree stump or picnic table. From there, you can crack it open however you'd like as long as you make sure to avoid sending debris back onto yourself as it can often result in very small stains from the oil trapped within those little bits of shell.

The only downside about using heavy-duty gloves is that they're kind of a pain to get on and off quickly, so I end up just gathering up batches of walnuts and cracking them all at once as opposed to doing it individually. Thankfully, walnuts are tasty enough to justify the extra effort.
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Just use one of those creepy nutcracker dolls.
 
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Until I get bored or my arm begins to cramp. Honestly, I'm competing with myself how much I can output. The taste gets old pretty quickly, but the smell is quite nice. Too bad nuts are irritatingly expensive here in the north unless in December.
 
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It takes me way too long these days. If I jackhammer it out, I can get it in 10 minutes. If it's been a long day and I'm tired, it can take up to 25-30 minutes of continuous work.

Just gotta mash through it bros.
GET OUT OF THERE, STICKY GHOST BABIES
 
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