How does going to Jupiter make you more stupider?

[Cat tit bingo]

You'd think taking a space voyage to another world would give you more knowledge.

 

[Maude Snew]

That's the old saying that also claims going to college gets you more knowledge instead of getting you raped, brainwashed, and possibly trooned out. I would however still not recommend going to Jupiter as we have an equal if not greater amount of gas in Milwaukee, in the vagina of one Niki Robinson. But then you're be in Milwaukee.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Because the candy bars are on Mars, duh.

 

[Reticulan Joe]

Turns out Jupiter emits a lot of radiation that rapidly degrades tissue, including brain tissue. Of course, if you’re painfully dying of radiation poisoning, the fact that you’ve lost 35 IQ points is of distinctly secondary concern.

 

[Verpa Teutonica Ingens]

Because he zaps you with lightning for abandoning the gods, and that lightning fries your brain.

 

[Fishnumm]

the extreme gravity crushes your brain killing you instantly making you dumber

 

[Power Ranger Monster]

Common misunderstanding. Most people stop by Io and turn into winos.

 

[The Lawgiver]

See, you aren't actually gett!ng "stup!der"... at least !n the !ntell!gence way... Jup!ter actually conta!ns too much knowlege for the human m!nd to comprehend. Those that are aware of

DO NOT UNDER ANY C!RCUMSTANCES FLY W!TH!N V!EW!NG D!STANCE OF THE GREAT SPOT
COGN!TOHAZARD RAYS EM!T TO THOSE WHO OBSERVE !T
YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE RED STORM'S W!SDOM
THAT THRONE !N THE CLOUDS !S NOT MADE FOR YOU

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

All these worlds are yours...