How do I win back my cat?

[SandyCat]

I'm stuck with a extremely british person in my house for longer than I expected and my cat likes her more than me. I'm more autistically upset about this than I should be

It feels like one of those friendships where you invest a lot into it then youre forgotten when a new person comes into the mix because you were just the temporary substitute to tide them over

I just want my "moggie" back

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

you can have me UwU

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

As an American, I have knowledge of what to do when the British invade your home: we call it the third amendment. Simply make the suggestion to your British invader to join the military of their motherland and you are obligated to remove them from the premises, violently for maximum patriotism.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Cat's are gay, they have no loyalty. If you died tomorrow you'd barely be cold before they'd be munching on your corpse.

As an American, I have knowledge of what to do when the British invade your home: we call it the third amendment. Simply make the suggestion to your British invader to join the military of their motherland and you are obligated to remove them from the premises, violently for maximum patriotism.

I usually just threaten to throw all their tea into the harbor again if they fuck around, but that's a lot more inventive.

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

Sadly your premise is flawed. You can't win back your cat because your cat never liked you. Your cat tolerated you because (hopefully) you fed it, and gave it a warm place to sleep.
Your cat probably gets along better with the brit because they're both lazy and entitled.

 

[Skitarii]

Congrats on the new gf champ

 

[Product Placement]

Have you tried not being a furfag? cats can sense danger pretty well

 

[Marche]

My cat would never betray me, sucks to be you

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Honourable combat...With the cat.

Or associate treats with being with you

My Malan'Tai doesn't like women all that much and prefers to always be near me so never had to fight for him.

 

[sasazuka]

The secret weapon for such a situation is to spray catnip spray on your bed.

 

[Jewthulhu]

It sounds like your cat is a Benedict Arnold and should be ordered hung on sight. Should probably hang the British "person" too.

 

[Roxanne Wolf]

See, the secret weapon to this is a fine mixture of the following:

• "pspspspspsps"
• Patting area where you want cat to be
• Catnip
• Small treats of human food such as nonfat plain yogurt, cheese (in strict moderation) , minimally processed meat and if they're old, a lil bit of whipped cream
• Gentle scratching where tail meets back
• Running hand under blanket as form of play, giving cat something to play fight

Results may very but it worked on my old man, best of luck

 

[ProfessorCuckulus]

treats placed in your hand. cats love food more tan people. jusr make sure the cat eats of of your hand. best way to make them associate you with food.

 

[lemonsensei]

Just kick the Brit Bong out. Ezpz.

 

[Dysnomia]

Ask the britbong to produce her cat cuddling loicense.

 

[Obi Wan Kenobi]

Congrats you got cucked by your own cat

Mine doesnt give a shit, he just sits on everyone's laps. He rotates, when he gets bored of one person, he goes on the lap of the next person, and never in a random order, always the same cycle.

 

[SandyCat]

you can have me UwU

Do you claw furniture?

Have you tried not being a furfag? cats can sense danger pretty well

I like anthropomorphic cat ladies, not cats. There's a difference if you squint hard enough

Just kick the Brit Bong out. Ezpz.

My family would disown me if I did so I'm stuck with the tea and crumpets

 

[Solus]

I've had that happen from time to time.
Some cats are friendlier to human females or have a preference if given a choice. Might be a hormone thing

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

Do you claw furniture?

nope, but I can if you want UwU