How do I unwrinkle my ballsack?

[Fat Gollum]

I tried to follow google's directions but I only ended up with third-degree burns.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

try placing it under the mattress while you sleep. the weight of pressing down will help press out the wrinkles.

 

[Laburnum]

Go and live in a sauna, you'll come out with a distended curtain of ballskin

 

[pollution jim]

tie a weight around it, if you want the sack to be smaller you should also try blowtorching it

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Do no use heat, chemicals, or force. Homeopathic remedies are best. Blend equal parts ghost peppers & lemon juice, and put ice into a basin to submerge your testicles for 6 hours. It's a lot time, but then you can naturally peel off the outer layer that's ready to shed, peel it like an onion.

 

[Rozzy]

Have you followed Google's directions and tried putting it in the washing machine?

 

[Fat Gollum]

Have you followed Google's directions and tried putting it in the washing machine?

I don't have one.

 

[Haloperidol]

Hot iron

 

[dvorak]

I don't have one.

What about a microwave oven? You could place it in there with a small cup of water which should start to boil and steam it out -- the magnetic waves will also help by warming the skin surface of the ballsack, making it more open to absorbing the moisture in the steam.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Do Yoga.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

 

[Farsided]

For a smooth and aerodynamic scrotum, tune in to Rekeita Law, he'll get you a deal on Balldo

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

Cut it off with a pair of scissors lay it out and use a hair dryer on it

 

[CallmeCicada]

Spoiler: Like this [NSFW] Nudity

 

[Core Theorist]

I just use a hammer. You gotta whack at it like you're buffing out some dents, see?


EDIT: clarification

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Clothes iron and whiskey.

 

[Spud]

You need to moisturize, lather it, leave no inch unmoisturized.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

remove them

 

[TomServo]

I use a rolling pin. Gets them nice and flat and super smooth.

 

[Shartavius]

Spray or dunk your scrotum into as many layers of Flex Seal™ as needed, until all wrinkles are filled. Just be sure to give each layer time to cure before applying the next one. As a bonus, your scrotum will be effectively waterproof.

And in case you don't want your scrotum black, Flex Seal Brite™ comes in a range of colors.