How do I troll Buddhists?

[Bargain Bin Laden]

Eltit

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Buddha walked into a pizza restaurant and said, "Make me one with everything".

 

[Moths]

Throw consumerist goyslop on them, what are they gonna do? Light themselves on fire? lmao

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I don't know, ask the CCP. They seem to be quite the experts on trolling buddhists.

 

[Moths]

I don't know, ask the CCP. They seem to be quite the experts on trolling buddhists.

LOOK U SEE THIS, THIS DALAI LAMA NAO, VERY GOOD CHINESE GOVERNMENT DALLY LAMA YOU WORSHIP NAO!

 

[Septictic]

Women in particular love Buddhism, the Buddha does not return the favor.
There’s a misogynist aspect of Buddhism that nobody talks about

 

[Negrate]

tell them jesus is lord and that even buddists praise jesus

 

[WolfeTone]

"The first fundamental truth of life is doin' your mom"
Epic trolled

 

[Rain Team Pepe]

These won't rattle an experienced Buddhist but should trigger your intended target.

• Talk about a >The Buddha< as if he was exactly like a Japanese Jesus (First Buddha was born in Nepal, there have been many Buddha since).
• Describe Meditation as doing nothing and being useless.
• How come there have been no female or animal Buddhas?
• "I saw a fat Buddha statue once, did he gain weight?"
• Ask them if the Dalai Lama is their pope.
• Learn a couple of Koan's but alter one or two critical facts so that they end up having a logical conclusion.
• Zen Master Dōgen opens the door to many hilarious Doge memes.

 

[Fag Albert]

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

Tell them you will help pay off their karmic debt, then sell their karmic debt to a collection's agency

 

[WhiskeyJack]

Just act like an atheist and insist on describing Buddhism as "more of a philosophy than a religion".

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Just act like an atheist and insist on describing Buddhism as "more of a philosophy than a religion".

depends on the audience, most "buddhists" are western "mcbuddhists" that would probably claim the very same thing.

 

[WhiskeyJack]

depends on the audience, most "buddhists" are western "mcbuddhists" that would probably claim the very same thing.

Yeah, being a larping western buddhists is a good way to troll real Buddhists too, now that you mention it.

 

[Matt Damon]

Tell them "achieving Nirvana" is just suicide with extra steps.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Tell them they are Hindu.

 

[Ronnie McNutt]

use a hacked client in their minecraft servers and grief their epic builds obviously.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

Ask them if they would lick your tongue.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Buddhism has as glorious of a history of superstition, minor gods, afterlifes, and jihad as Christianity. Pose as a trad-Buddhist in that Asian tradition. Act superior to them for meditating because you are saved by the name of the Amida Buddha. Carry signs around in public shouting at passersby that they will burn in the eight hot hells of Cakkavala if they do not repent. Rant and rave about how the Ikko-Ikki did nothing wrong and all the nonbelievers should be driven into the sea. Strut around in robes and beads chanting yourself.

Basically, act like a TradCath larper mixed with an aggressive Evangelical bible-thumper, and use that to expose what a shallow posture their Western "Buddhism" is in a way that will both make them embarrassed of their feigned faith and embarrassed in themselves for not living up to it.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Occupy their land.