How do I sneak into Mass without being noticed?

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Esau

Esau

88AppleFan
kiwifarms.net
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Jul 23, 2022
I don't want to talk to people after the service, or accidentally genuflect away from the Eucharist. Or to be invited to commune and have to awkwardly reject it.

Is this possible to avoid these things?
 
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Why would you want to attend Mass yet avoid these things? Regardless, you ought to attend and simply refuse to partake of the Eucharist. As that's what I did, back in the day. I wasn't (and still am not) a Catholic, and I wasn't officially a part of that congregation. So I don't think I could have partaken, even if I wanted to.
 
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Marcus Tullius Cicero said:
Why would you want to attend Mass yet avoid these things? Regardless, you ought to attend and simply refuse to partake of the Eucharist. As that's what I did, back in the day. I wasn't (and still am not) a Catholic, and I wasn't officially a part of that congregation. So I don't think I could have partaken, even if I wanted to.
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I am afraid that they will groom me into rejecting the Gospel, and send me through the wide and straight path into Condemnation.

Like the apostate that Christian saw burning alive in the cage, repenting that he had followed his unclean lusts and the letter of the law
 
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I once went undercover in the oldest (St Augustine) church in the country. The priest seemed to sus me out, because he was especially stern when I took my communion wafer, but I got one over on that Papist sumbitch because I still took that communion even though I didn't adhere to every creed the Whore of Babylon orders. Also I didn't know what the fuck was going on all service long.
 
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Esau said:
I am afraid that they will groom me into rejecting the Gospel, and send me through the wide and straight path into Condemnation.

Like the apostate that Christian saw burning alive in the cage, repenting that he had followed his unclean lusts and the letter of the law
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If you're concerned that they'll cause you to reject the Gospel, then I'd advise against going to a Catholic church. It is best to avoid finding oneself in the iron cage, but I fail to see how a man would remain there unless he either chose to remain, or he failed to see his opportunities for redemption. I suppose I fall into the latter category, at times. But the point is that, whatever your failings, whatever blunders you make upon your pilgrimage to the Celestial City, the Lord's love is ever-present and eternal. For neither principalities, nor powers, nor any thing upon Earth, shall separate us from the love of Jesus Christ. He desires only to take you unto Himself, and to love you with great mercy.

If you are curious about Catholicism and the rites they perform, then you can at least see a service recorded online. You'll have an idea of what to expect, if nothing else. Also, as I previously mentioned, it's possible that you won't even be able to participate in communion due to not being Catholic. So, you might be spared consuming communion unlawfully.
 
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Wait outside until communion begins, then burst through the doors and sprint down the aisle directly toward the priest shoving everyone standing in line onto the floor. Topple as many senior citizens as you can before you get to the pulpit. When you arrive there, knock the platter holding the bowl of little crackers out of the hands of the priest and then say, "Fuck You". Kick his wiener and shove him to the floor. Take the wine bottle from the petrified altar boy and then perform martial arts on him; a leg sweep. Drench the downed clergymen with a healthy stream of fresh urine. Chug the wine in front of the whole congregation. Laugh individually at each old person you just gave a heart attack. Be sure to inform everybody by the end that it was all just a prank. They'll be too distracted to notice anything else.
 
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Esau said:
I am afraid that they will groom me into rejecting the Gospel, and send me through the wide and straight path into Condemnation.

Like the apostate that Christian saw burning alive in the cage, repenting that he had followed his unclean lusts and the letter of the law
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Nigger just walk in and don’t talk, nobody is forcing you to do anything
 
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Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
I once went undercover in the oldest (St Augustine) church in the country. The priest seemed to sus me out, because he was especially stern when I took my communion wafer, but I got one over on that Papist sumbitch because I still took that communion even though I didn't adhere to every creed the Whore of Babylon orders. Also I didn't know what the fuck was going on all service long.
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The priest was probably right. In order to properly recieve the Eucharist, you must:
  • Believe that you are literally consuming the blood and flesh of our Lord
  • And, also believe that his body and blood will give you absolute forgiveness of sins (because our Lord loves you, and offers Justification freely)
I believe you're some sort of Sikh Mormon, rather than a Christian, so it's very bad that you recieved the body of our Lord. Because as Paul explains in 1 Corinthians, it would be as if you were guilty of killing Christ if you were to recieve the Sacrament unworthilly.
Marcus Tullius Cicero said:
If you're concerned that they'll cause you to reject the Gospel, then I'd advise against going to a Catholic church. It is best to avoid finding oneself in the iron cage, but I fail to see how a man would remain there unless he either chose to remain, or he failed to see his opportunities for redemption. I suppose I fall into the latter category, at times. But the point is that, whatever your failings, whatever blunders you make upon your pilgrimage to the Celestial City, the Lord's love is ever-present and eternal. For neither principalities, nor powers, nor any thing upon Earth, shall separate us from the love of Jesus Christ. He desires only to take you unto Himself, and to love you with great mercy.

If you are curious about Catholicism and the rites they perform, then you can at least see a service recorded online. You'll have an idea of what to expect, if nothing else. Also, as I previously mentioned, it's possible that you won't even be able to participate in communion due to not being Catholic. So, you might be spared consuming communion unlawfully.
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Thank you for the encouragement, and I imagine that they'd refuse to Commune with me; the same thing happens at my church.

I am especially concerned with stumbling blocks, because I am struggling to keep the Faith. And if I were to accept the Gospel of Rome, I'd therefore forefit Christ's power to save me from sin.

There is some Ecumenism between our two churches, which is very strange. I think that a few of my congregants are crypto-Catholics, anyway.
*Ecumenism among the laity, the clergy is opposed to most of it.

I pray that God will keep us in his favour, and that his Son should be a light unto our world, forever.
 
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Esau said:
Thank you for the encouragement, and I imagine that they'd refuse to Commune with me; the same thing happens at my church.
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If my experience is any indication, they'll welcome you into the church, and perhaps even offer to convert you eventually should you choose to accept. The only linchpin is your inability to partake of communion.
Esau said:
I am especially concerned with stumbling blocks, because I am struggling to keep the Faith. And if I were to accept the Gospel of Rome, I'd therefore forefit Christ's power to save me from sin.
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All the more reason to avoid outright conversion, I'd say. Associating with people who happen to be Catholic is one thing, as I don't think avoiding them helps them, let alone yourself.
Esau said:
There is some Ecumenism between our two churches, which is very strange. I think that a few of my congregants are crypto-Catholics, anyway.
*Ecumenism among the laity, the clergy is opposed to most of it.
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That's good. A strengthening of relations and lessening of hostility are fine, though outright unity would require accepting more than just a "difference of belief."
Esau said:
I pray that God will keep us in his favour, and that his Son should be a light unto our world, forever.
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The Lord will keep His children in His favor, even if the church should generally fall away. So long as you have a companion to accompany you, just as Christian did for much of his way, then you should arrive at the gates with much faith to spare, rather than be as Little-faith was—bereft of his coinpurse and ever-consumed by the thought of his loss.
 
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When everyone goes up to the alter for Communion, cross your arms over your chest, and follow them. The priest or deacon will bless you, but not offer you the Sacrament.
 
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OrionBalls said:
When everyone goes up to the alter for Communion, cross your arms over your chest, and follow them. The priest or deacon will bless you, but not offer you the Sacrament.
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I crossed my hand over the railings during Catechesis: I didn't know that was a cross-denominational thing. But unfortunately, my schedule has been tampered with and I won't be able to attend their particular Service for a while.
Marcus Tullius Cicero said:
If my experience is any indication, they'll welcome you into the church, and perhaps even offer to convert you eventually should you choose to accept. The only linchpin is your inability to partake of communion.

All the more reason to avoid outright conversion, I'd say. Associating with people who happen to be Catholic is one thing, as I don't think avoiding them helps them, let alone yourself.

That's good. A strengthening of relations and lessening of hostility are fine, though outright unity would require accepting more than just a "difference of belief."

The Lord will keep His children in His favor, even if the church should generally fall away. So long as you have a companion to accompany you, just as Christian did for much of his way, then you should arrive at the gates with much faith to spare, rather than be as Little-faith was—bereft of his coinpurse and ever-consumed by the thought of his loss.
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Thank you for the thoughtful response. I think I'll consult my godfather and pastor about this further.

However, I will attend one of their Divine Liturgies, to discover what they believe and to see if I can cohabitate within their parish.

Marcus Tullius Cicero said:
The Lord will keep His children in His favor, even if the church should generally fall away. So long as you have a companion to accompany you, just as Christian did for much of his way, then you should arrive at the gates with much faith to spare, rather than be as Little-faith was—bereft of his coinpurse and ever-consumed by the thought of his loss.
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I look forward to the day wherein I'll uncover the face of my brother. After my Baptism, I was gifted a wallet embroided with Jeremiah 29:11 on it's front.
Jeremiah 29:11-14 said:
For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then ye shall call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will harken unto you. Then ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord.
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