How do I make myself immortal?

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Get a bunch of those apples that the Norse Gods ate to make themselves immortal, please note that this doesn't protect you if a giant wolf eats the sun or some shit.

Alternately, offer to bang Aphrodite in front of her cuck of a husband and she might make you immortal so she can have a permanent fuckbuddy. Be warned that Hephaestus gets really pissy about people who do this though, so becoming a blacksmith would be ill-advised as he would be unlikely to bless your work or whatever.
 
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According to Davis and Panzer you're actually born with immortality. But it has to be actually triggered by a very shocking or violent first death.
 
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Is this a serious question because I have studied this, am very serious about having a crack at it, and know several other people who are too.

Basically
1. Look at the nutrients that deplete as you age, and supplement them. CoQ10. Creatine. etc
2. Look at toxins that accumulate, learn how your body eliminates them, and help it.
3. Fast as much as you can. Like a meal every 3 days, if you can do it. If you can't, do #1 and #2 until you can.

If you're serious I can expand with specifics. I totally believe this is the generation people will start living forever. I'm 48 and I look 30. It's not hard to achieve this.
 
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Rapier Ape said:
According to Davis and Panzer you're actually born with immortality. But it has to be actually triggered by a very shocking or violent first death.
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That only works for aliens from planet Zeist who where banished here by general Japanese sword, well at least before it was retconned and recut for being incredibly stupid. Plus is it real immorality if Mr. Krabs can just cut off your head and kill you?
 
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Cat tit bingo said:
That only works for aliens from planet Zeist who where banished here by general Japanese sword, well at least before it was retconned and recut for being incredibly stupid. Plus is it real immorality if Mr. Krabs can just cut off your head and kill you?
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I think it would count as long as you weren't an asshole to the shady motel guy that seals your doom by hoping you get your head chopped off.
 
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so, "immortality". i assume you mean something along the lines of "i will never die of old age, but i can still die whenever i want." which is actually incredibly easy, due to the simple concept that time is a human invention.

time passes by slower, or faster, depending on who it is. it may be faster for you, but slower for me. something may take 30 minutes in your head, but in mine it only takes 2 minutes. with time, you perceive things. with perception, you acknowledge things. with acknowledgement, you witness upon everything occurring. do you see what im getting at here?

you have to consume time. you have to eat time whole. if you can show time whose boss, by consuming it, making it dissolve into nothing but excretion, you would have shown yourself to be superior to time itself. time will cease to matter, as time has just been eaten. everybody will become immortal, because perception will not exist, and everything following perception will cease to be as well. how you can accomplish this...im not sure. good luck, though :)
 
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