How do I get diabetes?

[SandyCat]

My mom keeps saying I'm going to get diabetes from all the mountain dew I drink. I wanted to prove her right so she'll shut up but my blood test came back as not even being pre-diabetic

How can I get my A1C to 100%?

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

Buy a jar of marshmallow paste and put that shit on every meal.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You can't get your A1c to 100% because your kidneys are in the way. Even if you had no pancreas at all, you'd start peeing out sugar at your personal renal threshold for glucose. That's why you seldom see an A1c over 14-15, even in a belated diagnosis of Type II.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Try mixing it with Mellow Yello. Wouldn’t hurt to toss in a handful or three of sugar as well.

Don’t worry, you’ll get that ‘beetus soon. I believe in you!

 

[AirdropShitposts]

There's a lot of threads here with experts on this. Get reading.

 

[SandyCat]

You can't get your A1c to 100% because your kidneys are in the way. Even if you had no pancreas at all, you'd start peeing out sugar at your personal renal threshold for glucose. That's why you seldom see an A1c over 14-15, even in a belated diagnosis of Type II.

Just like a tranny I'm not going to let biology or science stop me, I'm going to shoot for the sugar coated stars

There's a lot of threads here with experts on this. Get reading.

I tried that but when I saw Cobra JFS wasting perfectly good mountain dew to hard boil eggs I was autistically screaming at my computer screen

 

[Rozzy]

Diabetes sometimes comes free with metabolic syndrome.

 

[Finger Pistols]

Drinking more Mountain Dew or any suggary soda seems like a good way to speedrun diabetes to me.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

Regularly eat Sketti (spaghetti noodles microwaved with country crock butter and ketchup) and Gogo Juice (mountain dew and red bull mixed together)

 

[Day Drinking]

When in doubt, alcohol has you covered in more ways than one.

 

[Pitbull Victim]

Sure Mountain Dew will eventually give you diabetes, but if you want to speed run losing your feet like a pro, you need to take the Jug-Pill

 

[SandyCat]

Drinking more Mountain Dew or any suggary soda seems like a good way to speedrun diabetes to me.

I tried that but its not working

What if I use an IV to administer the mountaindew?

 

[Finger Pistols]

I tried that but its not working

Directly IV drip the soda into your veins then.

Edit: Great minds think alike.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Chantal Cuisine

All day every day.

 

[Kürtzl]

Buy butter.
Buy sugar.
Mix that shit.
Obtain Pop-Tarts.
Put generous amounts of Sugarbutter on top of them.
Then eat 4, each during breakfast, lunch and dinner in addition to what you would normally consume.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Overeat and never move. That is basically the formula for Type II. For Type I, I am not sure how you would accomplish that. Maybe sell your pancreas to some Chinese guy.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Deep fry every food you see, that also includes drinks. Did this for 5 years and now I need wheelburrow to get around.

 

[Cobson Gemson]

I have this question too. I've been drinking soda yet none of my teeth fell out yet

 

[SandyCat]

I have this question too. I've been drinking soda yet none of my teeth fell out yet

Just don't go to the dentist for 10 years or so