How do i get a beauty parlor gf

[Negrate]

i need a slampig i can talk about lolcows and politics with how do i aquire one

 

[batterybee]

the term "slampig" is pretty demeaning, maybe you should start with droping that.

 

[Chris_Stuckmann]

Find an obese woman, start dating her, convince her to start streaming, then anonymously post about her on the forum. Insert yourself into your fat gf's streams as the comically reasonable straight man who just wants his GF to go to the gym. Wait for the Beauty Parlor to start simping over you, then dramatically break up with your gf on stream whilst simultaneously leaking your location. Then wait.

 

[Shidoen]

Smile and nod your head.

 

[RACISM]

You need to bait the trap with boxed wine and cakes. One should trigger the mechanism before too long and voila, one captured hippo. Remember they can need up to 3 litres of wine a day and up to 50 chicken nuggets. Also if they are not given entertainment, they will make distressing noises in your direction.

 

[rel=alternate]

Stalk the forum and start spamming DMs or profiles of those who disclose their gender.

It's a numbers' game, it will eventually work. If you don't get banned.

Once you have a desperate one on the hook, get married super fast (online works I guess), so you can trap her before she changes her mind.

Be aware that you might not have a common ground in lolcow tastes. If there is no cat, child abuse and no death-fat in your catalogue, you may be disappointed.

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

I really want you to think about what you are attempting my son. Only misery lies ahead

 

[Blitzsneed]

If you're seriously looking for a date through this forum, you're a lost cause. I'd recommend a oral 12-gauge treatment.

 

[WelperHelper99]

I really want you to think about what you are attempting my son. Only misery lies ahead

Hey don't discourage him, he might meet up with a dude instead of a chick and lose his anal virginity

 

[Fag Albert]

start talking about how much you hate Peetz

 

[Dyn]

If you dox a BP user she is obligated to marry you, it's tradition.

 

[RACISM]

If you dox a BP user she is obligated to marry you, it's tradition.

Dyn has misread the Koran and is taking his 72 virgins while still here on earth. I hope none of you BP ladies reused your username.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

if you are okay with fat women, which you would have to be if you wanted a BP gf, then you could just get any ol' fat girl and just introduce her to chantal hate watching. this is the easiest route since there are far more regular fat girls in the world than there are BP girls.

 

[Omen_Sulk]

LCF

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Just as big, racist, and crazy.

 

[WolfeTone]

I've known 2 pairs of kiwis that have gotten married after meeting here.

You can do it champ! Just play it cool lol

Oh, and you owe Null $20 when you do

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

honestly if i met a gf on here who wasnt fat impossibru i would happily give null more than 20 dollars. id also use it as a way to further laugh at the troons.

 

[Dyn]

Dyn has misread the Koran and is taking his 72 virgins while still here on earth. I hope none of you BP ladies reused your username.

If I wanted virgins I'd be doxing the people in Internet Famous, not Beauty Parlor.

 

[RACISM]

View attachment 5163934
Just as big, racist, and crazy.

I can fix them. I can fix them all.

 

[Shidoen]

If you dox a BP user she is obligated to marry you, it's tradition.

Getting fucked in a kiddie pool full of vanilla pudding is a better tradition. But alas Null missed out on College Days.