How do I discipline a baby?

[FuckedUp]

I'm babysitting my neighbor's 1-year-old son. He refused to eat the pizza I ordered, so I put him in the microwave for ten seconds as punishment. He's screaming and crying nonstop now. Should I nuke him for another minute or two?

 

[StreetGangsta]

Yes.

 

[Medical Hawaii]

put it on the "defrost" setting

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

No, if the microwave isn't working you're going to need to put it in the dryer on the low heat/delicate cycle for about 20 minutes.

 

[Bongocat]

I think you're supposed to put the baby on the underside of your wrist and if it's not too warm you can put it in the microwave again.

 

[Larkin N Likin]

Poke a skewer through the baby and see if its organs come out. If they do, put it back in and repeat every minute or so.

 

[tehpope]

 

[Darksy DePhil]

PUT THESE KIDS TO SLEEP, WILL YA?!

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Wash down more xanax with beer

 

[Liber Pater]

Call him a libtard

 

[TheRetardKing]

Nestlé Baby Formula will shut it up. Permanently.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Microwave was probably too soft. stuff them in a pillow case and hammer toss them out a window to really show em whos boss

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

use the microwave to boil milk, then pour the boiling milk on the baby, then step on the baby, then throw the baby into a pile of cow dung

 

[natsukashii]

use the microwave to boil milk, then pour the boiling milk on the baby, then step on the baby, then throw the baby into a pile of cow dung

That will make your baby blessed by Shiva or something

 

[Tram Fan]

1. Throw the baby at the wall headfirst.
2. When the baby is damaged make a youtube channel and whine about your baby being disabled.
3. Earn money via youtube/tiktok
there was a woman who let a junkie stay home with a baby and baby got damaged and then she has been making content on youtube about this tragedy

Wash down more xanax with beer

What if he doesn't have xanax but he has some weed cookies?