How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Plastic Paddy said:
I'm doing fine, new job's going good for the most part, but I want to move up or transfer into a division that feels like where I can actually leverage my intelligence than this low level position. My therapist said a while ago that I will continue to suffer until I get a job where I can use my intelligence at its fullest and he's right, I'm starting to feel it.

I'm kind of tired of dealing my really autistic coworker who doesn't want to work with us as a team, and he doesn't fucking shower. Look I get it we're all going through some shit but do the basic and shower and do your best. Coming in late everyday is excessive, but don't have a fit when you come in late again and start screaming and punching your locker. We're in a field where we have to trust each other, if we don't at the worst case someone might die. How do you expect us to trust you when your attitude is shit, and you can't even fucking bathe yourself properly?
Click to expand...
Stinky got fired. Work's going good for the most part than the average NYC government incompetence.

I'm really dreading this weekend since it's the stupid romantic holiday and it reminds me that I've been alone my entire life but that's okay. I'll deal with it when I'm ready.
 
Finally getting some unseasonably decent weather coming up starting on Friday, even getting into the 60s next week (Just shy of 20c for the Euros), but huge temp swings isn't odd for SW Ohio, but people are already losing their minds. It was almost 60s yesterday and low 40s today, for example, the accumulated snow is melting pretty well, but it's just got people playing bumper cars on the roads, my daily drives home take about twice as long because of it. Not unexpected, but it gets old. Also, I'm convinced all the shit they used on the roads is in the air as the snow evaporates, so the air quality is garbage, and humidity has dropped significantly, which is always fun.

I am looking forward to it, the last couple weeks feel like I've been speed running all the various illnesses going around over winter. Had a nasty cold and I feel like I've got some long lasting stomach bug, not much pain or anything, but lots of gas when I eat that likes to linger and gives me weird anxiety spikes. Got some Gas-X, which seems to blunt the worst of it, but I'm not really a fan. I've barely gotten sick since I caught COVID in 2020, so getting hammered by all of this stuff at once is unusual. Guess it's just part of getting old or all the vitamin and mineral tweaking has wrecked me for a bit. If my electrolyte tweaking ends me, whoever's the strongest can have my stuff.
 
Plastic Paddy said:
I'm really dreading this weekend since it's the stupid romantic holiday and it reminds me that I've been alone my entire life but that's okay. I'll deal with it when I'm ready.
Click to expand...
Oh man I feel that.

On a brighter note, I think I can confirm Null's ginger shot theory. I was near someone with a cold earlier this week and yesterday I had a bit of sneezin and sniffling, but as I've been downing ginger shots lately not much else came of it. No sore throat and my nose is fine too now. No more sneezing either.
 
My sister, her beau and their two kids are coming to visit tomorrow, as it's a school holiday week. I'm looking forward to seeing my nieces, we don't see their side of the family that often due to busy schedules and the fact that we live at opposite ends of the realm, although I'm not looking forward to the guaranteed tantrums from the youngest. My sister, due to perceived slights and differences against her compared to my brother and I during our upbringing, has a steadfast belief in not allowing for her children to cry from parental neglect. Which is to say, they rarely get a gentle but firm "no". One could argue that that's another type of parental neglect, and I would agree with you, but I am not a parent and never will be a parent, so I stay out of my sister's way of raising her children.
I just have an incredibly hard time understanding or relating to my sister and how she sees our shared childhood. She's the oldest, and I'm the youngest. She wanted to go out drinking as a teen (we have different alcohol laws here, you can legally drink under the age of 18 and you used to be able to buy beer at the age of 15, now 16 with liquor being 18+) and had her own weekend job since she was 15, and she was allowed to do nearly anything she asked of my parents. Meanwhile my fragile mind broke when I was 13-14, I never really went out drinking or dancing with my friends and I never had a job as a teen. We are polar opposites. She is beautiful, intelligent and hardworking, meanwhile I am the stupid, stubborn black sheep of the family. Where she has always been slim, I have always been a broad shouldered square.
I try my best to not make waves or cause controversy when they're around, you could say I engage in a bit of yellow rock'ing but I would not consider my sister a narcissist, just unaware of how deeply troubled I am at times.

I made a stupid decision and got late night maccas, so I've got that going for me as well.
 
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
If I stop posting here for a long time then I finally offed myself. Just so you know.
Click to expand...
wanted to concur with Otterly - talk to us, even if it doesn't solve anything. We just like hearing from you.

Your post *did* strike a chord with me. I don't think I'll ever off myself, not unless I finally snap and
  • burn down a halfway house full of sex offenders
  • shoot a bunch of violent felony criminals who keep getting let off easy by bleeding-heart judges
  • am on the run from the cops "Terminal List" or "Thelma & Louise" style and I'm going to get shot anyway
what's more likely to happen - in the event that I abruptly stop posting here - is that I will have died from natural or unnatural causes not of my own choosing.

I'm not that old, but I *am* in the age territory where the roulette wheel has started spinning; and also I live in a kind of dangerous area, and even though I'm a hypervigilant, reasonably fit asshole with a mean streak, there's always a very real possibility I could get shot or stabbed to death en route to or from work.

Everyone in my life has proper channels through which they'd hear of my demise except for this place.
So if I ever disappear for more than a year, know that I have shuffled off; and in lieu of a celebration of life, please dig up all of my stupidest posts and make fun of me.

Wouldn't have it any other way.
 
Since my last post I got a girlfriend and then got dumped 3 days before valentines day. Good thing I definitely have zero feelings for her still!
 
Billy Bob Dick said:
there's always a very real possibility I could get shot or stabbed to death en route to or from work.
Click to expand...
Move? Not really worth living somewhere like that. Mind you I don’t like where I live and I’m stuck herr so I get there can be reasons.
PetiteFeet said:
Where she has always been slim, I have always been a broad shouldered square.
Click to expand...
Try to focus purely on the nieces. Try to focus on them - not on the comparisons or the negatives. Enjoy seeing the children. Try to use this visit to reframe how you see it - you’re seeing the things that make you feel bad, and maybe those things are justified but that’s not the point. The way you will feel better is by having a positive interaction with the kids and if the have fun they WILL enjoy it.
Why not find something, a short activity, afternoon out somewhere that they will enjoy. Or go get one of those build a bracelet/jewellery craft boxes and sit with them with some popcorn and snacks and do the activity. Whatever they’re into. Focus on them.
Keep it shortish so you don’t overwhelm yourself and enjoy it.
 
Negev said:
Since my last post I got a girlfriend and then got dumped 3 days before valentines day. Good thing I definitely have zero feelings for her still!
Click to expand...
There may be hope though - my brother's wife broke up with him week of valentine's day, then got back together the following week. They've been together ever since. Always look on the bright side.

Speaking of - anyone wanna be my pookie bear before the romantical day?
 
Otterly said:
Move? Not really worth living somewhere like that. Mind you I don’t like where I live and I’m stuck herr so I get there can be reasons.
Click to expand...
I currently live walking distance from my job; and for reasons I can't disclose on this site, I can't easily find another one. Salary/benefits is one factor, the nature of my work is another.

Plus, I live in a blue city almost the *entirety* of which is a dangerous shithole. Believe me, I've been looking to leave town for *years*, I just haven't been able to find another decent job elsewhere yet. I can't just walk away from my health plan etc. I need at least a lateral move, if not a step up.

Anyway, I'm not exactly defenseless. I'm legally armed at all times, and I'm pretty street smart. There's just always the possibility I might catch a stray bullet, or lose a run-in with some crazy person with a large knife (have already had several such encounters; managed to dodge my way out of them).

Police around here have been doing a much better job the past 18 months, but they're woefully understaffed. They *do* pay extra attention to the area my business is in, because they know us and like us, so thank God for that. It's no coincidence that even in Leftist American shithole cities, most cops are Republicans. I look forward to the day when cops are allowed to dispense a little street justice again; it would cut way down on violent crime if the criminals knew the cops might bring them a well deserved ass-kicking along with an arrest.
 
Billy Bob Dick said:
wanted to concur with Otterly - talk to us, even if it doesn't solve anything. We just like hearing from you.

Your post *did* strike a chord with me. I don't think I'll ever off myself, not unless I finally snap and
  • burn down a halfway house full of sex offenders
  • shoot a bunch of violent felony criminals who keep getting let off easy by bleeding-heart judges
  • am on the run from the cops "Terminal List" or "Thelma & Louise" style and I'm going to get shot anyway
what's more likely to happen - in the event that I abruptly stop posting here - is that I will have died from natural or unnatural causes not of my own choosing.

I'm not that old, but I *am* in the age territory where the roulette wheel has started spinning; and also I live in a kind of dangerous area, and even though I'm a hypervigilant, reasonably fit asshole with a mean streak, there's always a very real possibility I could get shot or stabbed to death en route to or from work.

Everyone in my life has proper channels through which they'd hear of my demise except for this place.
So if I ever disappear for more than a year, know that I have shuffled off; and in lieu of a celebration of life, please dig up all of my stupidest posts and make fun of me.

Wouldn't have it any other way.
Click to expand...
Dude, if I off myself right now and the person who is listed as my next of kin and who hasn't called me in weeks would miss a call from a coroner and they would not make another one, then this person would have no idea that I'm dead probably forever and ever. A month or two later they would call, get no response from me and shrug it off only to forget me completely. Maybe it is not my fault that they drifted away, but it is my fault that I was this autistic retard and didn't get more and better friends when I could. Those were my decisions that paved my way into this. Years that people usually call the best are long gone and I had nothing but misery, fear and loneliness during those, all I have left is a slow decline into nothing, so why bother waiting so long? "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - bullshit, living like this just cripples you over time more and more until you want to die. Even Nietzshe who said that ended up in a looney bin, because he couldn't take it anymore.
 
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
but it is my fault that I was this autistic retard and didn't get more and better friends when I could.
Click to expand...
I feel that...
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
Years that people usually call the best are long gone and I had nothing but misery, fear and loneliness during those, all I have left is a slow decline into nothing, so why bother waiting so long?
Click to expand...
I feel the same, I definitely squandered my youth, I'm not in a terrible place entirely but socially I'm alone in the dark so to speak. But at the same time I'm too greedy to ever give up, even if it's just a drop of companionship in the far off future when I'm old and decrepit, I want it, and I'll get it somehow even if I don't know how or when.
By the way, if you don't mind me asking, what age range are you in?
 
Otterly said:
Try to focus purely on the nieces. Try to focus on them - not on the comparisons or the negatives. Enjoy seeing the children. Try to use this visit to reframe how you see it - you’re seeing the things that make you feel bad, and maybe those things are justified but that’s not the point. The way you will feel better is by having a positive interaction with the kids and if the have fun they WILL enjoy it.
Why not find something, a short activity, afternoon out somewhere that they will enjoy. Or go get one of those build a bracelet/jewellery craft boxes and sit with them with some popcorn and snacks and do the activity. Whatever they’re into. Focus on them.
Keep it shortish so you don’t overwhelm yourself and enjoy it.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I already told myself years and years ago that I'd try my best to be there for my nieces whenever I have the chance. I try to come up with some activity that involves one of my strengths, like being creative or being a decent cook/baker, that is child friendly.
We've made pizza from scratch, with me making most of what I can ahead and them helping finish it off or getting to choose toppings, and how their individual pizzas are decorated.
We've had quite a lot of snow so I'll see if I can't coerce the both of them to come with me and possibly my brother or my father on a walk with the dogs, or we'll go make a snowman or a mini igloo if there's not too much yellow and brown snow in my parents' garden :lol:

I love those girls, I'd do anything they'd ask of me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom