How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Otterly said:
It’s ok to have days, weeks like that. I have had plenty of them myself.
Click to expand...
It do be like that (Mr Stancil (tm))
Lip Glossary said:
the two things that I have learned in my life that have helped me so much is that you should work on the things that you CAN work on, and confidence is KING.
Click to expand...
I am already well aware of both of these, and I have been working on some things for a long time. More recently I joined an archery club; I've been forcing myself to go just to socialize more but it's a slow process. It's also fun, but I'm also really bad at it as I'm a newbie and again, improvement is a slow process.
The problem with confidence part is that I feel like I had way more of it like a decade ago when I was worse off in life. It feels like I lost my vim, my mojo as Austin Powers would put it. In part due to getting older, I'm definitely very insecure about that. In part it's something else too, not sure what exactly.
A while ago I quit my job and became a neet because it's been incredibly dissatisfying lately. It felt like I need a major change in my life and I needed to force myself to do something else because otherwise I'd just continue stagnating and go insane. But the issue is I'm not sure what I want to do exactly. But anyway I don't want to go on a long rant, I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say.
⋖ cørdion ⋗ said:
Imagine that to yourself: No matter how bad you got it, would you sacrifice half a decade on the first thot who smiled at you? Would you have the balls to drop her on year 5 and not let it run 12 years?
Click to expand...
That's something I'm afraid of, it sounds like something I could end up doing. Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of falling for the wrong woman and being played like a damn fiddle.
⋖ cørdion ⋗ said:
If you can stand yourself, you're better off than most. Once you're fine on your own, you're ready to add someone else, cause if they instead subtract from your previous level of happiness, you boot em.
Click to expand...
The problem is I'm too fine on my own. I can be fine on my own until I'm 90 years old and fade away.
 
Gotta go to a family thing in April. Don't want to go. But my hippie (good kind) cousin will be there and he's a neat guy. I will not tell him how much nobody liked his ex-wife, because that's not very sporting.

e:

And to dye or not to dye?

Nah, let it rip. Find your 22 year old publishing assistant or w/e the plot of 40 Shades of Gray was.
 
Motherf*cker said:
I had just read the article about Bruce Willis' frontal lobe dementia and according to his wife Emma and his kids he has something called anosognosia. Sometimes I hate synchronicity because my dad (with dementia) had gone to an appointment yesterday and had told his doctors that there is nothing with his memory and he's just fine.
As much as I wish it to be true, I know that it's not reality and it makes me sad but on the other hand he has been so happy recently. Blessing? Curse? Both?
Click to expand...
I'm no doctor and this is by no means better than actual medicine, but rosemary has some properties that help with dementia related sickness. People in a particular town in Italy (i forgot its name) have a very long lifespan and they use it for everything, even chew on it

 
Okay, so a bit of an update to my venture of Family Dollar girl.

I did go back that same night and unfortunately her wigger/ganster looking manager was there, overshadowing everything like a taskmaster. He kind of kept everyone in line and kept me from actively talking or gauging any interest, etc.

I did talk with her but in the heat of the moment, and feeling pressured from wigger, I didn't get to talk and build up to the points I wanted. And she didn't get to really absorb anything or really notice.

I've tried again throughout the day to drive by to see if she's there, early or late, so I'll try again MONDAY as that might be her only day or whatever. Stick with what you know for sure, I guess.

Nothing so far, but we'll see. I have to be honest here, I'm probably grasping at straws; she might just laugh with everybody and it wasn't even me, and I don't know anything beyond her than that. This is what happens when a passionate flame like me is suffocating for fuel; the past few months have felt isolating to say the least and all I want is just ONE person. I mean, a girl, yeah, but another passionate person who actually WANTS to talk with me the same way so I won't be annoying or too pushy.
It makes sense now why it elated that reaction to me; her responses, laughter, and general optimistic mood is like a steak dinner to someone absolutely starving in body and mind.

And I'm also trying too hard because I already ruined a perfect relationship because it was long-distance and... I want to just hope, there has to be SOMEONE cool where I live, right? RIGHT?

I honestly don't care. I just want to talk to that person, wherever they're at. Know SOMEBODY who cares is fucking THERE. A genuine connection between people can exist anywhere; I'll never stop believing that.

And yeah in this time, I've tried to improve myself; I've made some more friends I wouldn't have, I've joined some communities and I'm getting there. I also NEED to start working out again; I'm letting myself go and this never makes anybody feel good. But it's hard solo; I can be a self-starter but I always second guess and give up without someone behind me.
None of this would've happened without all this, but I want a partner to keep the wind up behind me, not just more acquaintances. I've had enough of those in my life. Just ONE person. I don't think it's too much to ask. Ugh.

I mean, things are getting better and it's better to not force it... but damn, I just feel so alone and abandoned. Without this site and clinging on to any morsels of possible hope, I'd be in the loony bin. I hate this blue city, I just get angry and being on my own, when I'm this timid to be a badass to face it, it makes me feel all the sadder.

I'll keep trying but this is how it feels right now. Gotta make it happen, it seems, and I'll keep going until it does or I die trying. You only lose when you give up. I'll never let myself become some jaded 49 year old loser who gave up because something didn't work decades prior. I've seen an open window into that, no fucking thanks.
 
Went to the hairdresser finally. Been putting it off because my hairdresser, the only person I ever trusted my hair with, passed away a couple years ago. This new lady cunt completely ruined my hair and I'm pretty sure it was out of malice.
Most of you will think I'm just having a dramatic woman moment but I have alopecia and have been growing out a pixie cut since before covid, so my hair is a big deal to me. I made sure to show her pictures of what I wanted and what I DID NOT want, and she proceeded to do what I didn't want, but somehow even worse. So now I need to go to some random hairdresser tomorrow, don't even know how I'm gonna accomplish that yet, and pray that they are not incompetent, psychopathic pieces of shit.
She did such a bad job and it's just bringing me back to the times where my alopecia was at its worse and I felt so ugly. I had made so much progress with medication and treatments and now I'm worse than what I started with. I legit want to kill this woman. I want a fucking refund. I want to shoot her in the face.

Hope your day was calmer than mine.
 
Hair loss is a sign of underlying pathology. This is true at any age, but especially at an age where it could be considered premature. Genetic predisposition does play a role, but a phenotype is ultimately the result of the interaction of a genotype with the environment - this is universally true of any disease. If you're losing hair, then you're not meeting your body's demands for the substances it needs to function properly. Psychic stress, for example, is a known causative factor for hair loss in both genders. In women, it's pregnancy and breastfeeding. Both stress and childbearing increase the body's metabolic needs. If you fail to satisfy these needs, the body starts breaking down. Such dysfunction is completely avoidable, however, if you maintain your nutrition at a level that either meets or exceeds the needs of the body for optimal functioning under given conditions. My father was already completely bald by the time he was in university. Both my paternal and maternal grandfathers were bald. I have a full head hair despite rapidly approaching middle age. In fact, my hair has grown thicker in the past couple years because my nutrition has improved. Incidentally, I have also been completely free of any disease, both acute and chronic, both somatic and mental. If you're losing hair, stop worrying about your looks and start worrying about your health.

Human health is like a janny's salary - you get exactly what you deserve. Nothing more, nothing less. The hallmark of niggercattle mentality isn't not caring about politics, finances, censorship, demographic changes, etc... it's not caring about one's own health. The gravest mistake you can make is thinking that a "balanced diet" (lol, lmao even) covers the body's needs for micronutrients in the environment we're exposed to. If it did, all kinds of chronic degenerative diseases would not have increased in incidence by an order of magnitude during the last century.
 
Wigger Rights Advocate said:
Went to the hairdresser finally. Been putting it off because my hairdresser, the only person I ever trusted my hair with, passed away a couple years ago. This new lady cunt completely ruined my hair and I'm pretty sure it was out of malice.
Most of you will think I'm just having a dramatic woman moment but I have alopecia and have been growing out a pixie cut since before covid, so my hair is a big deal to me. I made sure to show her pictures of what I wanted and what I DID NOT want, and she proceeded to do what I didn't want, but somehow even worse. So now I need to go to some random hairdresser tomorrow, don't even know how I'm gonna accomplish that yet, and pray that they are not incompetent, psychopathic pieces of shit.
She did such a bad job and it's just bringing me back to the times where my alopecia was at its worse and I felt so ugly. I had made so much progress with medication and treatments and now I'm worse than what I started with. I legit want to kill this woman. I want a fucking refund. I want to shoot her in the face.

Hope your day was calmer than mine.
Click to expand...
I think it is worth the effort to learn how to cut your own hair. It may be difficult in your case since it's shorter, but I'd give it an honest shot when you're comfortable and it's long enough to go have it fixed if you fuck up.

Hairdressers are so unreliable. I've never had one that I liked. I got tired of paying money to have my head molested and my life ruined for a month until my hair grew back out. I've been cutting it myself for years. I've never been trained or anything, but after a couple of attempts you figure out what you like and what works for that.

I'm sorry about your hair. I understand the feeling. Sending you hugs and love. All will be okay.
 
7/10, I have been a lot lower over the past 3 months, so its nice to finally see my mood generally stabilize, things could be better but I don't feel like im getting my shit kicked in mentally, just chilling out on vidya over the past couple weeks
 
I've been coming into work an hour+ late recently. Not for any good reason; I wake up on time and then just lay there for hours. Usually the pressure makes me kick my ass into gear once I know I have *just* enough time to get ready and out the door, but that hasn't been working lately. I watch that time come and go and I just don't care. I'm extremely privileged and fortunate to have coworkers and a boss that don't get upset over it, but my boss did talk to me privately and asked how he could help. I still don't know what to tell him. I don't want to ask for less hours, as I need the money, but it's getting hard. This is always what happens. I push myself and can pretend I'm not mentally ill for a few years before it all blows up. I really hope that's not what's happening this time. I don't want to admit that I'm not up to snuff. I don't want people in my life knowing I can't handle things because I'm cuckoo. My family already thinks I can't do anything and I wanted that line of thinking to start and end with them. I wanted to prove them wrong. Ugh
 
I'm doing fine, new job's going good for the most part, but I want to move up or transfer into a division that feels like where I can actually leverage my intelligence than this low level position. My therapist said a while ago that I will continue to suffer until I get a job where I can use my intelligence at its fullest and he's right, I'm starting to feel it.

I'm kind of tired of dealing my really autistic coworker who doesn't want to work with us as a team, and he doesn't fucking shower. Look I get it we're all going through some shit but do the basic and shower and do your best. Coming in late everyday is excessive, but don't have a fit when you come in late again and start screaming and punching your locker. We're in a field where we have to trust each other, if we don't at the worst case someone might die. How do you expect us to trust you when your attitude is shit, and you can't even fucking bathe yourself properly?
 
Sigh... I probably just imagined the whole thing.

I went back tonight and she was there; and the wigger, but even he was friendly; the security guard was there too and she didn't make any motion towards me whatsoever, even after a greeting. As I was walking around the store, I listened in to the conversations she was having with the wigger manager, the security and she laughs at everything. I didn't make any real impact, she just laughs at everything.
I always get naively optimistic and see things that aren't even there. And I was just excited because she was local for a change. I felt no chemistry or connection; she's cute and friendly but she's like that to everybody. She doesn't notice anything about me or want to talk or anything past that. There's no passion. Oh well, better than asking what if.


cute-sad-goma-cat-tail-wagging-rol5nvtxfbe2z3me.gif
 
4
GAY DEAD MUPPET GANGBANG said:
Sigh... I probably just imagined the whole thing.

I went back tonight and she was there; and the wigger, but even he was friendly; the security guard was there too and she didn't make any motion towards me whatsoever, even after a greeting. As I was walking around the store, I listened in to the conversations she was having with the wigger manager, the security and she laughs at everything. I didn't make any real impact, she just laughs at everything.
I always get naively optimistic and see things that aren't even there. And I was just excited because she was local for a change. I felt no chemistry or connection; she's cute and friendly but she's like that to everybody. She doesn't notice anything about me or want to talk or anything past that. There's no passion. Oh well, better than asking what if.


View attachment 8519093
Click to expand...
Hey, listen - not to put too much of a gloss on a disappointment, but: you felt excitement and anticipation. That's a good thing. That means you're alive and alive. It's fine and fun to get excited about someone, in and of itself, regardless of whether it goes to "something." And I believe that most experiences that spark you, even if they wind up creating down emotions at some point, are important.

I truly understand the downstroke, but I hope it can be put into a good thought about possibility and appreciation of bring able to feel that thrill.
 
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
4

Hey, listen - not to put too much of a gloss on a disappointment, but: you felt excitement and anticipation. That's a good thing. That means you're alive and alive. It's fine and fun to get excited about someone, in and of itself, regardless of whether it goes to "something." And I believe that most experiences that spark you, even if they wind up creating down emotions at some point, are important.

I truly understand the downstroke, but I hope it can be put into a good thought about possibility and appreciation of bring able to feel that thrill.
Click to expand...
Completely agree. And don't worry, I'm not crashing out or letting it depress me. Just, well, whatever. As I stated before, it came up like a flash and I had nowhere to go but up; I personally view it as "See? Anything can pop up at ANY time, so keep going" so yeah, I took the right lesson from this; don't worry.

But thanks for the genuine reply :heart-full:
 
PetiteFeet said:
Dyeing your hair can take years off your appearance, so instead of looking like a haggard 60 year old you might look like you're only 40.
Click to expand...
Cautionary note: Do not use box color. Especially past 30, it will be painfully obvious. It's actually obvious before then as well, but may not matter as much to you. Find a decent hairdresser and stick with them. A good colorist is gold. I'm in my late 60s and only 7 to 10% grey. Some of my younger friends would be/are completely grey/white. I can spot home dye jobs a mile away.
 
Two things in my life.

One is despair and grief that my race is finally run in academia and, while I could keep applying, I just don't believe in it anymore or feel like it's worth the effort and I'm reconciling myself to having to go into other work. Which hopefully means something that actually pays anything like what I originally expected but may not.

The other is being super horny all the time lately. It's weird. For like six months I am always really horny.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom