How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Male advice: If you look at your father and/or grandfather (i read that hair loss supossedly runs on the maternal line of the family but fuck that.) and see the Norwood VII reaper smile back at you just buzz cut that shit.
For real, that's pretty much what I've been doing. Although one thing I regret is I never had a proper haircut in my life. In my 'tistic ways I would just grow out my hair long, or buzz it off. Went through a few such cycles until the norwood hit me and I just stuck to buzzing it off. Nah, that's probably not true, I liked the feeling of having long hair like a bum; as long as it's not scorching hot in summer, it's nice to feel your hair in the breeze. And really short hair is great too, you wash it and it dries off so fast, it's great.

you have nothing to offer.
Damn, I feel personally attacked. But that's only because it's probably true in my case. I've seen shorter men, fatter men, balder men, men with gyno, men who are broke, all be able to get ladies I wouldn't even dream of talking to. So it's definitely a me issue.
So far, all that going to therapy's done for me is made me realize I probably really am "on the spectrum" and I might be somewhat bipolar. It's fuckin rigged dude.

:bossmanjack:
 
all be able to get ladies I wouldn't even dream of talking to
Have you tried talking to them? Not ‘talking as if you are going to ask them out’ and NOT intending to either, but just sort of casually shooting the breeze? In a way that’s times limited and very obviously NOT you coming on to them, just an aside or a casual word then you move on with what you’re doing?
If I’m on the train and struggling to get my bag into the overhead rack, and a chap asks if he can do it for me, my answer is yes please. There will probably be a bit of ‘oh thank you, it’s so high up for me/ lol I packed too much into there it’s clearly past the airline weight limit / thanks so much, it’s jus a bit heavy’ and he will be all ‘no worries.’
If he then proceeds to ask me out I’ll be a bit alarmed but if he just casually says ‘I’m going as far as Peterborough, give me a shout if you can’t get it down again and I’ll do it for you’ then goes and sits down, i will most certainly ask him to. If you do that sort of ‘no expectations’ casual interaction a lot, you’ll maybe desensitise yourself to speaking to women?
And do it with zero expectation past the moment. Not everything has to be with the goal of getting the girl, just being a bit more comfortable with day to day interaction might help you perhaps? Short interaction, then move on, shows you’re just being helpful rather than helpful with an ulterior motive.
 
I had just read the article about Bruce Willis' frontal lobe dementia and according to his wife Emma and his kids he has something called anosognosia. Sometimes I hate synchronicity because my dad (with dementia) had gone to an appointment yesterday and had told his doctors that there is nothing with his memory and he's just fine.
As much as I wish it to be true, I know that it's not reality and it makes me sad but on the other hand he has been so happy recently. Blessing? Curse? Both?
 
Well medical stuff is getting worse, dizzy spells are going crazy and I'm always in hypertension now with an average heart rate of 135/85. My ass still gotta keep driving to work but that's when the dizzy shit strikes me the most and even my little counter measure of blasting myself with cold air no longer works. Did a ghetto home version of the lean table test with a blood pressure pump from walmart and it does show that when I stand up my blood pressure spikes like crazy, easily into stage 2 hypertension. The crazy bit is I'm actually very low on sodium (still in the healthy range though), work an active job, am not over weight, don't smoke, and barely drink. Just goes to show that genetics got a mind of their own I guess.
 
Have you tried talking to them? Not ‘talking as if you are going to ask them out’ and NOT intending to either, but just sort of casually shooting the breeze?
Nah, not really. I mean outside of cashiers and like my therapist or other such occasions.
Look, your advice is really reasonable and good and all, and rationally I agree with it, but today I'm on my fuck-my-nigger-life-depressive-misogynistic-grind so I can't even fathom the concept of talking to a woman irl right now. In fact, I can't really fathom talking to anyone right now. I just want to disappear.
 
Today has been already stellar.

I have taken oven dishwasher duty and before I went to bed last night, I had loaded and started it. I have to pedantically put signs on everything so dad leaves it alone but he just will not, and when it was half done he put in dishes again.

Im going to have to hide the Oxys from mother, her Dr told her to explicitly to only take Gabapentin and not Oxy for her pain but she did it anyways.

I don't know why he gave her Oxy in the first place.
 
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I have been off the Farms for a couple of months due to some real life shit. There was a lot of dark stuff happening in my life but it has mostly resolved itself pretty well. From one of my cats nearly dying to me losing my job to my partner nearly dying as well I had a couple of rough months - but all is well now. Cat alive and well, partner alive and mostly well and I have a new job that I love. Lets hope things stay stable now.
 
Nah, not really. I mean outside of cashiers and like my therapist or other such occasions.
Look, your advice is really reasonable and good and all, and rationally I agree with it, but today I'm on my fuck-my-nigger-life-depressive-misogynistic-grind so I can't even fathom the concept of talking to a woman irl right now. In fact, I can't really fathom talking to anyone right now. I just want to disappear.
You’re here talking to us, which is better than nothing, right? It’s ok to have days, weeks like that. I have had plenty of them myself.
The talking to women advice is for the better days. Days like today you just concentrate on keeping the lights on and yourself safe.
 
For real, that's pretty much what I've been doing. Although one thing I regret is I never had a proper haircut in my life. In my 'tistic ways I would just grow out my hair long, or buzz it off. Went through a few such cycles until the norwood hit me and I just stuck to buzzing it off. Nah, that's probably not true, I liked the feeling of having long hair like a bum; as long as it's not scorching hot in summer, it's nice to feel your hair in the breeze. And really short hair is great too, you wash it and it dries off so fast, it's great.


Damn, I feel personally attacked. But that's only because it's probably true in my case. I've seen shorter men, fatter men, balder men, men with gyno, men who are broke, all be able to get ladies I wouldn't even dream of talking to. So it's definitely a me issue.
So far, all that going to therapy's done for me is made me realize I probably really am "on the spectrum" and I might be somewhat bipolar. It's fuckin rigged dude.

:bossmanjack:
Hey we've all got issues, I can kind of relate on that one. I don't know if your therapist is ever going to tell you this but the two things that I have learned in my life that have helped me so much is that you should work on the things that you CAN work on, and confidence is KING.
I'm not talking about that alpha male, treat a girl like crap and call it confidence shtick. I mean actual confidence in yourself. When I talk to someone when I'm single, I literally act like I'm the leader of a cartel or some kind of super villain organization. By that I don't mean that I talk down to them or act mean, I just have this confident I know something the rest of the world doesn't know and I don't care if it ends right now demeanor. It gives off a quirky, charming, devil may care attitude.
It's 100% about your swagger and charisma and charm, that's why you see so many bums out there going home with a girl every night.
Even if you're not naturally funny have about 10 jokes pre loaded in the chamber ready to go, and remember life is your buffet, there aren't a limited number of girls you can ask out. Practice makes perfect, my main man. I believe in you.

Edit: ignore that I tagged somebody in the wrong post.
 
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I don't have TV and today is the cheap day at the cinema so we blindly went and saw Iron Lung. I had no idea that Markiplier had directed and stared in a movie based on a video game. It was really well done and the claustrophobic one location interior shot in the sub worked really well. The way that the only way to see out was an X-ray camera was really well done; I loved the alien and all the oozy blood. Why did Marki choose the end of dump month to release this movie, it's so much better than that. I also have desire to play the game.

I will not apologize for bitches taking my bait personally. Also if you don't want fighting, stop bringing up yesterday's news.
guess what? i have another embarrassing thing to share, which is that i paid 3 dollars for markipliers onlyfans. only to find out it was literally just showing his ass. nothing else. i was pissed.
 
Made it to work at least. Discovered I had two deep cycle 12v AGM batteries and my 3000w inverter stolen from the side of my trailer. My neighbor had his dirtbike a mower and a blower stolen from him as well. Spent the whole night fucking dealing with sheriff's, making reports and whatnot. They came back through our fences by cutting it. Conveniently none of the neighboring properties cameras triggered.

All in all were fucked and the authorities aren't going to do anything about it.

The protections these fucking druggies get is unreal. There's constantly foot traffic on this road all hours of the night, they usually don't fuck with us but I suspect this is to do with with more experienced thieves. This was highly coordinated and done in a matter of minutes.

I am fucking enraged.
 
Well, thank fuck I no longer take care of the inbox at work. It was however my blanket excuse to the question "so what'd you do all day?". Granted, the temp did.. fuck all, all day. So now I'm doing that. And lo behold: The returning maternity-leave coworker says "hi" to externals and uses emojis; the things I'm not allowed to.

Whatever, be happy, move on. Do the bare minimum. I ain't doing enough? Give me work. The local term for an employer is literally 'work supplier'.
Damn, I feel personally attacked. But that's only because it's probably true in my case. I've seen shorter men, fatter men, balder men, men with gyno, men who are broke, all be able to get ladies I wouldn't even dream of talking to. So it's definitely a me issue.
The equally boring women are too shy to entertain let alone feel worthwhile romantic interest. Either that or they get hooked into a toxic relationship that'll stall their life advancements for 6 years. Imagine that to yourself: No matter how bad you got it, would you sacrifice half a decade on the first thot who smiled at you? Would you have the balls to drop her on year 5 and not let it run 12 years? Mid-20s chicks killed themselves over isolation during Covid. If you can stand yourself, you're better off than most. Once you're fine on your own, you're ready to add someone else, cause if they instead subtract from your previous level of happiness, you boot em.
I'm not talking about that alpha male, treat a girl like crap and call it confidence shtick. I mean actual confidence in yourself. When I talk to someone when I'm single, I literally act like I'm the leader of a cartel or some kind of super villain organization. By that I don't mean that I talk down to them or act mean, I just have this confident I know something the rest of the world doesn't know and I don't care if it ends right now demeanor. It gives off a quirky, charming, devil may care attitude.
And much like job interviews, it can go either way. Oh wow this fuckhead thinks he's the best thing since SFM porn. Yawn. Or you'll somehow overwhelm a shy cute girl who'd prefer a simple talk and you'd get on much better with if you just went "Oh I'm not usually big on outings haha. Why're you in this pub?". Rather than pure unadulterated confidence, being true to yourself does wonders. But much like that drughead on Vine, "take it easy. But take it". You need to put yourself into situations. Shit, I just listened to that Kieran Culkin kid on a podcast. Met his wife in a bar, "Who was that guy, your boyfriend? Do you have one? oh, well in that case I'm-". If that kind of behavior doesn't fit your actual personality, that's step one towards wasting 5 years of your life.
 
guess what? i have another embarrassing thing to share, which is that i paid 3 dollars for markipliers onlyfans. only to find out it was literally just showing his ass. nothing else. i was pissed.
It's a toned ass tho? :lit:
I recently somehow ordered a giant bag of peanuts for birds. So whatever, you can't return food items, I also got a bird feeder that hangs from a hook like the one that used to hold Boston ferns. So I'm just going to put up a giant bird feeder full of peanuts. Tomorrow, I believe.
A suet feeder? you're going to get squirrels, they be trifling :jaceknife:
 
I recently somehow ordered a giant bag of peanuts for birds. So whatever, you can't return food items, I also got a bird feeder that hangs from a hook like the one that used to hold Boston ferns. So I'm just going to put up a giant bird feeder full of peanuts. Tomorrow, I believe.
Feeding wild birds is good for the soul.
 
I recently somehow ordered a giant bag of peanuts for birds. So whatever, you can't return food items, I also got a bird feeder that hangs from a hook like the one that used to hold Boston ferns. So I'm just going to put up a giant bird feeder full of peanuts. Tomorrow, I believe.
Adding an outdoor restaurant to the bird b&b, ay? ;)

While on the topic of hair, when should you expect the grays to start coming in? And to dye or not to dye?
 
I'm bored and getting tired, but I know if I sleep now, I'll piss away what remaining free time I have until the next retarded work week will begin.

My finances are recovering, as I had hoped. My bigger state tax return is coming in soon and I'm going to use all of that to stable my shit more. Because I had been stressing out in the past few weeks, work's retarded nature hadn't made it any better and I have been spending time sitting around and carrying on with an uncomfortable weight on my mind. Soon as it gets here, I'm doubling up on rations and resources. Plus I'm going to push some subscriptions and my phone plan further into the middle of the month, where I prefer them to be, so they aren't jumping at me within the first week of the month. I had to panic-cancel a lot of things anyways last month anyways.

As I get older, I'm finding out that my body and mind don't cooperate together. The mind will want to do things somedays and the body will feel like not doing it. But then the body will want to do things and my mind will be like "nah...let's uh...just sit and think about stuff".
 
While on the topic of hair, when should you expect the grays to start coming in? And to dye or not to dye?
I started getting greys around 29 years old. I'm 34 now. They're still relatively sparse but I have a lot of them on the front where I part my hair, so they're visible. Dyeing your hair can take years off your appearance, so instead of looking like a haggard 60 year old you might look like you're only 40.
It depends on the person, honestly. I don't care about my appearance in general, but it definitely detracts overall for me. I look like a very rough 34, if I'm completely honest and with as little self-hatred as possible.
 
@⋖ cørdion ⋗ sorry I wouldn't let me properly tag you to respond.
And much like job interviews, it can go either way. Oh wow this fuckhead thinks he's the best thing since SFM porn. Yawn.
Yikes, I'd hate to meet the center of attention personality type that broke your heart. Besides like you said it could go either way, so what has a 50% success rate. So just do it to twice as many people and there you go :story:
Or you'll somehow overwhelm a shy cute girl who'd prefer a simple talk and you'd get on much better with if you just went "Oh I'm not usually big on outings haha.
Yeah I've never been the type of person who wants to sit quietly with my girlfriend while we enjoy each other's company. A shy cute girl to me isn't very valuable. I'll take an ugly woman with a personality over that any day of the week. Looks fade, but boring and shy is to the last.
Why're you in this pub?". Rather than pure unadulterated confidence, being true to yourself does wonders.
But my true self is a loud, center of attention, larger than life bogan who loves making everyone in the room feel like they're special and friends with me because I love seeing the joy on people's faces when they are enjoying themselves.
But much like that drughead on Vine, "take it easy. But take it". You need to put yourself into situations. Shit, I just listened to that Kieran Culkin kid on a podcast. Met his wife in a bar, "Who was that guy, your boyfriend? Do you have one? oh, well in that case I'm-". If that kind of behavior doesn't fit your actual personality, that's step one towards wasting 5 years of your life.
I don't know it sounds like you are misunderstanding what I'm saying, and that's fine. It's hard to explain to people correctly. Like I said I'm pretty loud, talkative, energetic person by nature so for me I always try to pull back a little bit.
That's why my advice to people who are very shy or don't have confidence is to push forward more.
You have to get outside of your comfort zone because if you don't you're just going to be in the same rut forever.
Fake it til you make it, as it were.
 
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