How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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sorry for the absolutely ridiculous self pity here, and im not always like this, thankfully. its just been one of those weeks. i just dont know what the hell to do anymore. i know people have it worse, and i shouldnt be so stupid, but its hard. :lossmanjack:
I find it hard to imagine there's anything harder than being a parent and watching your kid suffer. It's always hard when those you love suffer and you are powerless to help them, and surely there's no greater love than a parent has for their child. Life dealt you a bad blow and you have ever right to feel bad about it. Hope you stay strong and get through it all as best you can.
 
we thought about it, but the issue is that hes on a GJ tube now, which is a huge pain in the ass, because he throws up still, and we have to use these extensions that are hard to connect, etc etc..its so involved.
that, and i honestly dont even know what would be fun to do anymore. i hate where we are living...its ground zero for all the insanity going on in the world. we are only here because the medical care for sick kids is excellent, otherwise i never ever wouldve came
 
I find it hard to imagine there's anything harder than being a parent and watching your kid suffer. It's always hard when those you love suffer and you are powerless to help them, and surely there's no greater love than a parent has for their child. Life dealt you a bad blow and you have ever right to feel bad about it. Hope you stay strong and get through it all as best you can.
i appreciate that a lot!!! it just sucks. its basically a situation that there is nothing good or right, and accepting how much it sucks has honestly helped it a little. that said, fuckasses who tell me that "god has a plan" are lucky im not a violent woman, thats for sure :jaceknife:
 
"god has a plan"
Let no one ever tell you that you don't get to be mad at God.

So what if God has a fucking plan? No one gets to disregard your pain as if feeling sad or angry is somehow irrelevant because some diety that couldn't be bothered to give you a heads up on how screwed you are today has some sort of plan that may or may not benefit you in the long run.

God can take a little fucking roasting. Especially when it comes to your kids.
 
Gave my dog a bone because it's Friday, even though I gave her a bone earlier in the week. This one has lots of meat on it, so now I have dog eating ASMR in the background.
I'll force a break in 30 minutes time so she can get some water, maybe take her for a quick spin outside if it isn't snowing heavily, she's the type of dog that can't stop, won't stop eating her treats until they're gone. Zero resource guarding towards me, I can tap on her muzzle while she eats and she'll just wag her tail and continue.

Love this silly old girl of mine. Her needs are so simple and easy to fulfil, and I get so much love in return.

January just flew by, I could've sworn we were still in December yesterday. Better than it dragging on, I guess.
 
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Seeing your last, direct train home take off in the distance before making your way aboard is the ultimate bug hive dweller mood. Enjoy the flip phone ~aesthetics~.

EDIT: Haha fuck my whole life. Waiting 20 mins now to get on another train for 1 station to make my subway connect towards home where i most possibly have to wait equally as long for the subway, drive 15 mins and have to walk the rest of the way for the same time. We used to be a real country once. I think only UK bros truly know that same feel.

Edit: Alright, announcement was made that the train will be 10 minutes late. I know the area, i know there's a nightbus stopping here that will me get close to home. Step up the stairs, see the bus sign saying "This station isn't serviced currently. Thinking okay, might as well buy a beer to keep the buzz going, Kebab shop open on the other side across the road. Outrageous 2,50€ for a lager, "Can i pay with my bank card?", "Sure, any bill over 7€".

Standing here with 3 beers now of which i only want to drink 1.
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Made it to the subway now and am still a long way from home.
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Only making this play by play because i'm need to pass time and all my friends and my girlfriend are already sleeping and not answering to my annoying whatsapp voice messages. Never come to Germany if you can avoid it.

That's the bus gone as well.
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Standing in the snow typing this like a retard but i kinda enjoy it. Follow my KF for more vlogging content :story:
 

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oh boy....today is grocery shopping day....i honestly used to love grocery shopping, but things have changed...people are so goddamn hyper aggressive. especially cart riders..
and i hate to sound old but whatever. i dont understand how anyone goes out in public without trying to look decent. ive seen women at the store wearing ratty t shirts and pj pants, no bra of course, so their titties are swinging down to their knees....completely unkempt and usually followed by their equally unkempt children.

i get that people are depressed maybe and just dont care, but at the same time? there is no reason to know maintain minimum standards of public decency. even if you are poor, you can still comb your hair, and put on a nice outfit, and smell good.

there isnt anything wrong with being a slob at home, but when you are out and around other people, at least wear clean clothing and maybe not drag a child along in a saggy and visibly soiled diaper. :stress:

that said, i think the worst are the moms who ARE dressed nice, well groomed, expensive purse, and their kid looks like an orphan or something. i saw a lady smack her kid for asking for a candy bar, last week...she obviously had money to look her best, and the kid didnt even have a coat on, and it was snowing!!
anyway, wish me luck...i have no clue as to what i want to cook this week either, so not even sure yet what im going to buy.

*positive note though, the store by my house has an AMAZING cheese selection. for whatever reason, my family loves cheese and we spend way too much on it, and said store marks down their ridiculously priced "good" cheese on the weekends, so i like to stock up. if i had my way, i would absolutely have a cheese cellar..someday maybe! :lol:
 
I merely wish to find someone who will understand me before I die. Otherwise all of this wasn't worth it.
Good luck with that. But if you do find them, I hope they’re someone and somewhere and somewhen you’re able to actually do something about it, because fate’s got one hell of a sense of humour about that sort of stuff.
@Dizzyuntildeath this made me chuckle. It’s a valuable skill. I should play poker.
 
*positive note though, the store by my house has an AMAZING cheese selection. for whatever reason, my family loves cheese and we spend way too much on it, and said store marks down their ridiculously priced "good" cheese on the weekends, so i like to stock up. if i had my way, i would absolutely have a cheese cellar..someday maybe! :lol:
Mmmm cheese.. :ratface:

except for blue cheese, that shit is gross
 
we spend way too much on it,
I saw a study the other day that correlated cheese Intake with increased life expectancy. I hope I can find it…
I can’t find the one I was looking for but here’s another that says cheese is good
Also having an open fire… @Overly Serious may amuse you, having a fire going is associated with longer lifespan.
I’ll keep looking. It was a Swedish study about high fat hard cheeses. Anyway cheese is good for you
Here we are! https://www.lunduniversity.lu.se/article/full-fat-cheese-linked-lower-risk-dementia
 
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Gave my dog a bone because it's Friday, even though I gave her a bone earlier in the week. This one has lots of meat on it, so now I have dog eating ASMR in the background.
I'll force a break in 30 minutes time so she can get some water, maybe take her for a quick spin outside if it isn't snowing heavily, she's the type of dog that can't stop, won't stop eating her treats until they're gone. Zero resource guarding towards me, I can tap on her muzzle while she eats and she'll just wag her tail and continue.

Love this silly old girl of mine. Her needs are so simple and easy to fulfil, and I get so much love in return.

January just flew by, I could've sworn we were still in December yesterday. Better than it dragging on, I guess.
I actually love dog eating ASMR. My boy isn't very food driven and will get bored of things like bones pretty quickly, so I have to give him small stuff that's very tasty. I like to give him things that are crunchy or kinda hard, like apples, because the sound it makes when he chews just tickles me. Am I remembering right that your girl is a frenchie? I feel like you've mentioned them before but I could be wrong.

i appreciate that a lot!!! it just sucks. its basically a situation that there is nothing good or right, and accepting how much it sucks has honestly helped it a little. that said, fuckasses who tell me that "god has a plan" are lucky im not a violent woman, thats for sure :jaceknife:
*positive note though, the store by my house has an AMAZING cheese selection. for whatever reason, my family loves cheese and we spend way too much on it, and said store marks down their ridiculously priced "good" cheese on the weekends, so i like to stock up. if i had my way, i would absolutely have a cheese cellar..someday maybe! :lol:
Caregiver fatigue is real, and it does suck. I had to take care of one of my parents, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it wasn't for very long. Even that was very difficult. I can only imagine how it must be doing it long term. You're doing your best and we all know that. Stock up on that cheese and enjoy it!!!
 
Fucked up my previous shift a little more than usual. Drank two beers tonight in a pub. It's not that much cold outside but it's really frosty.
The food pyramid is upside down (the way it should be) therefore my late dinner today is going to be a good steak, dorblu/brie/whatever addle cheese and a cup of green tea.
When you're drunk it doesn't hurt being empty and soulless.
Feels good man.
 
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I saw a study the other day that correlated cheese Intake with increased life expectancy. I hope I can find it…
I can’t find the one I was looking for but here’s another that says cheese is good
Also having an open fire… @Overly Serious may amuse you, having a fire going is associated with longer lifespan.
I’ll keep looking. It was a Swedish study about high fat hard cheeses. Anyway cheese is good for you
Here we are! https://www.lunduniversity.lu.se/article/full-fat-cheese-linked-lower-risk-dementia
idk if it helps me..i cant remember anything anymore. i think its stress, but i have lost like 4 sets of car keys, my airpods twice...my shoes....!!!
 
idk if it helps me..i cant remember anything anymore. i think its stress, but i have lost like 4 sets of car keys, my airpods twice...my shoes....!!!

I hear that one, being a caregiver is hard one. It takes me like 20 minutes to remember everything and get out of the house ;)
 
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