How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Nick Bockwinkel's Belt]

Heroin rules. I mean seriously name a single drug better to jack up your veins.

Nothing made me feel better than the time I was so severely dehydrated I ended up in the ER and they hooked me up to an IV saline drip.

I’m sincerely not a troll

Yes you are. I don't know your end goal in trying to derail the thread, but it isn't gonna work because:

This is what we do for fun.

Maybe you have some weird autistic desire to become the next slungus.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

I don't know your end goal in trying to derail the thread

Me neither.

 

[AnOminous]

Maybe you have some weird autistic desire to become the next slungus.

Nigger, don't even say that.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Me neither.

Just stop hijacking the nice thread for people being real and vulnerable to shit it up with your disingenuous bullshit. Talk like a person. If you have no intention of working on yourself, fine whatever, don't bring it up then. If you are working on it and just want to talk through that, also fine. But those fucking dictionary length posts about how you are stuck and cant get better and you HAVE to make people on here your little frigging.. I don't even know. Your stand in decision makers? That's shitty. That's really shitty.
And then when people say to go get help and touch grass and you say fuck you fag I do what I want?
You have the right to say that, but people also have the right to call it what it is.
Trust me, I may or may not be a professional.
Or I could be a Stake affiliate. You a gambling man?

 

[Idiot Doom Spiral]

Shit on multiple fronts:
i) Ungrateful cunt of a hypochondriac mother
ii) Really not feeling Christmas this year
iii) Endless fucking schlepping Xmas shite
iv) work stress
v) desperate to live on my own again

I used to love Christmas, but familial shite over the last 5+ years has beaten the enthusiasm out of me. I find myself hating it more and more, and wishing for it to be over every time.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

Just stop hijacking the nice thread for people being real and vulnerable to shit it up with your disingenuous bullshit. Talk like a person. If you have no intention of working on yourself, fine whatever, don't bring it up then. If you are working on it and just want to talk through that, also fine. But those fucking dictionary length posts about how you are stuck and cant get better and you HAVE to make people on here your little frigging.. I don't even know. Your stand in decision makers? That's shitty. That's really shitty.
And then when people say to go get help and touch grass and you say fuck you fag I do what I want?
You have the right to say that, but people also have the right to call it what it is.
Trust me, I may or may not be a professional.
Or I could be a Stake affiliate. You a gambling man?

I genuinely do not know what to tell you, they’re all sincere. But if they seem insincere then maybe it’s best I just don’t post in this thread anymore, cause that’s pretty much 90% of my mind. Even when I get better and it becomes 50% of my mind, I tend to backslide and it goes back to being 90% of my mind. Maybe it’s best to just keep that in my mind.

Again, I apologize.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

I genuinely do not know what to tell you, they’re all sincere. But if they seem insincere then maybe it’s best I just don’t post in this thread anymore, cause that’s pretty much 90% of my mind. Even when I get better and it becomes 50% of my mind, I tend to backslide and it goes back to being 90% of my mind.

Again, I apologize.

Do what you want, and accept the consequences. Part of being an adult, bro.

 

[Alexander II of Russia]

The process of starting over without a friend you've spent most of the time to is really fucking hard. I'm doing nothing but thinking about the good times we had, how much I screwed things up and how this person is not with me for the foreseeable future. Things are going really hard for me right now, I don't know what to do, everything fucking sucks right now.

Christmas is going to be hella depressing this year, that's for sure.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

The process of starting over without a friend you've spent most of the time to is really fucking hard. I'm doing nothing but thinking about the good times we had, how much I screwed things up and how this person is not with me for the foreseeable future. Things are going really hard for me right now, I don't know what to do, everything fucking sucks right now.

Fresh disconnect is awful.
My youngest brother was a terrible drug addict schizophrenic asshole and his birthday is in 2 weeks. Its gonna be the first one since he passed.
Reminiscing is good, ruminating is not. Shitty advice. I know. Do what you can to keep busy until you're ready to wade into the murky black bullshit of it all.
Sorry youre going through it.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I'm sick with something which makes concentrating on anything for more than 5 minutes impossible. I'm going to hope that I recover before Christmas. Maybe take some Nyquil to rest my sick brain and then attempt to read until my brain turns off.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

The whole nightmare thread is interesting -- I've have three in five days. The thing is, my nightmares would be hilarious to anyone else, because I'm the only person who would get worked up as a result of the things in them. I know they have some deeper significance to me (which is usually sort of obvious to me), but I imagine that a regular person would just laugh at the absurdity of it. For instance, two recent examples:

1) I open a drawer in my kitchen and it's full of water. This means something is seriously wrong and must be fixed immediately, and is potentially expemsive.
2) People are shopping in a place that deals in secondhand furniture but it's absolute white-trash junk, and there is a place nearby that sells nice vintage stuff for less than is being charged for junk. I am yelling at the people buying the junk. Until the last two years I was making very little money. I was really careful, though, and have managed to keep my home in a place with pretty high cost of living. QED.
I'm curious as to what others think causes them. I've never had a bunch of them so close together. 'Stress' is obvious, but if that were the case I think people would be having them almost constantly.
edited for typos

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

So I’m good? Just keep using it the way I’m using it? Ya, I agree. Again, looking back, quitting does seem extreme

I think, your problem is not much using KF as overthinking stuff to the extreme. I mean, I don't get excited from checking this place either, but it's not like I spend my days here.

 

[Pattern Juggler]

I got 12 hours sleep last night. Definitely needed that.

After talking with my ex and getting the closure I've wanted for years, I have to admit I feel a little lost. Now what do I do?

Life is as good as it could be aside from being single, but I don't have really any hope of finding a woman not fat and without kids.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

The days feel too long, the weeks too short and it's just about 2026 already.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

I think, your problem is not much using KF as overthinking stuff to the extreme. I mean, I don't get excited from checking this place either, but it's not like I spend my days here.

I think that’s the root problem, ya. If it wasn’t this site, it’d probably be some other similarly opinionated place. But I think I should still quit. It’s like someone else said, a little heroin did no one any good.

Again, I think. Idk, I’m still thinking about what some other people said. That “Kiwifarms is bad for me and I should abandon the site” is too extreme. But maybe that’s the place I’m at right now. Maybe desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

[long waters]

Again, I think. Idk, I’m still thinking about what some other people said.

Too much thinking. As SMB said, read a book. There's a nice thread about reading where you could look for inspiration on what to read. I lurk that sometimes, although I don't post much since I'm into reading single long running series. (Currently still reading Lord of the Mysteries / Circle of Inevitability)
Also maybe listen to some nice relaxing music? I've been fond of Low Roar over the last few years, check out Don't Be So Serious

As to how I've been doing, don't really have interesting things to say. I don't want to incel rant again about feeling depressed and lonely over holidays or whatever.
Although, one thing I could mention, ever since a certain post in the household tips and tricks thread, I've started changing my bedsheets more often and lately I got back into ironing out my handkerchiefs too. At some point as I've been getting older I started thinking "ah what's the point in ironing, they'll get wrinkled again as I use them anyway!". But ironing things is nice, they look neat and orderly afterwards and it appeals to my 'tistic sensibilities. Perhaps it's also like a form of "meditation". No thinking about various things that bother me, just relaxing and focusing on taking out wrinkles.
Maybe I should start wearing shirts instead of t-shirts so I have more things to iron?... But a shirt and a hoodie is a weird combination. I actually don't own a single shirt anymore, I'd have to buy some.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Or I could be a Stake affiliate. You a gambling man?

Stake.. Stakes! What iiiiis at Stake?

Anyway. Pondering the few people I've actually added on platforms and kept in touch with, the one thing in common is that I met them on 4chan-adjacent sites like KF. The content on the site would be 90% trash and then every now and then, you'd have a post like this where people were being real. It's really nice, being upfront among the niggercalling and call-for-troon-lynching.

It makes me miss forums. I can't be bothered keeping up with Discords and group chats, yet I was the life of the chat whenever I used to play WoW and what not. Yet, this format of socializing just kills me. To have to actively banter and rant all day to be remembered 2 months down the line yet forgotten if you leave out of disinterest. It's like any third space really, needing to be present to be included, yet with none of the actual reward. "Oh man where's George? He was fun". You leave a Discord and nobody notices that your 9gag reposts in #memes aren't there.

I wouldn't say I'm lonely but I do miss being exposed to new potential that I could trim off after a few days if they got annoying. That used to be such forums. Sad.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Stake.. Stakes! What iiiiis at Stake?

Anyway. Pondering the few people I've actually added on platforms and kept in touch with, the one thing in common is that I met them on 4chan-adjacent sites like KF. The content on the site would be 90% trash and then every now and then, you'd have a post like this where people were being real. It's really nice, being upfront among the niggercalling and call-for-troon-lynching.

It makes me miss forums. I can't be bothered keeping up with Discords and group chats, yet I was the life of the chat whenever I used to play WoW and what not. Yet, this format of socializing just kills me. To have to actively banter and rant all day to be remembered 2 months down the line yet forgotten if you leave out of disinterest. It's like any third space really, needing to be present to be included, yet with none of the actual reward. "Oh man where's George? He was fun". You leave a Discord and nobody notices that your 9gag reposts in #memes aren't there.

I wouldn't say I'm lonely but I do miss being exposed to new potential that I could trim off after a few days if they got annoying. That used to be such forums. Sad.

Good ol Vent. Raiding with the boys. Quitting after 6 weeks because all content is already on farm.

 

[Otterly]

It’s just that I can’t really function unless I check the site

That’s not good. Look as we’ve already entirely unprofessionally armchair diagnosed you, you likely have ocd and the reassurance seeking is part of it. LIMIT your KF time. Talk to your therapist about it. Be aware you could be talking to absolutely anyone here and not everyone is benign.

He got a run-down on my prognosis and believes he has a regiment that could help. Apparently had someone with a similar outlook that's just been getting scans, but otherwise has been in remission for 3 years now. Nothing to lose at this point so I'm going to give it a try.

Oh that’s amazing! What is it involving?
We are all cheering for you, I hope you at the very least get more time from it.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Now what do I do?

Whatever you want Freedom!

but I don't have really any hope of finding a woman not fat and without kids.