How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[WASR96]

Ain't that the fucking truth. I had to get a waiver for being too tall back in 2000 to enlist.

I always laugh when people act like tall people have the world on easy mode. I can't even buy shoes from a normal store, let alone cloths. If it wasn't for the VA, I wouldn't be able to easily get steel toe boots in my size at all. I'm probably going to die early because of my heart trying to pump through such a large body. Flying on a plane is a fucking nightmare if it's a puddle jumper. And I'll always get some obese person that acts like we are in the same boat. Um no. You can put down the fucking fork. I can't cut my legs off at the goddamn knees.

And dealing with cops is always fun because there is always one hard ass that has short man's disease and wants to kick my ass because I got a foot over them in height.

Seriously, once you are over like 6ft, the taller you are, the worse it is.

I'm trying to fly back either today or tomorrow. I can't wait for the freakout from my old company about how much they owe my new company.

I feel your pain. My recruiter was security forces before becoming a recruiter, so I didn't have anyone to warn me "don't do aircrew when you're over 6 feet tall!" The job counselor only laughed and told me to avoid helos and refuelers, never mentioned that Rivet Joint and Gunships both have fuck all for legroom either.

I despise clothes shopping. Small, medium, and large sizes aren't applicable to me. Medium is too tight on my lanky shoulders and arms, and large isn't long enough for my torso. Cool, try an X-Large? Nope, fucking shirt swallows me and I'd need to put on another 20 pounds or so for it to fit. The military at least had their uniforms that came in sizes like "Large Long" that was considerate to tall people, why the fuck do t-shirts and polos not have this? Closest I can get for comfort is flannels and button ups, I still had to get a few shirts for work tailored so that I don't look ridiculous. Thankfully for boots and shoes, I've noticed an uptick in being able to get a "wide" option so that my feet aren't being vice gripped on the sides anymore. Skechers slip ins with a gel insert are amazing. Not sure if they make steel toes, but Lowa boots also fuck hard, it feels like just walking around your house with socks.

Glad you're getting out of there soon. Austin, and everything south of that forsaken city, all suck hard. Oh, and fuck Abilene too. It's far north of your current town, but I always have to make sure I put that shithole down when Texas comes up. Dyess needs to be moved to DFW so that town finally dies off.

 

[Foltest]

Finally, I feel some motivation with my studies again.
The weather and the darkness that comes in december have been a drain on my personal batteries, but today I was in the zone with some studies.

 

[Otterly]

@WASR96 and @JustStopDude
Lanky is the best phenotype for men though. This is a fact.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Years a bust, been incredibly dead tired, stressed out of my mind. Made a funny thing of art last night in reaction to a bot only for it to get deleted which has now even further killed my motivation to do fucking anything because what's the fucking point. People only give a shit about politics tickbox AR YU LEFT OR RIGHT garbage shit and can and will dismiss and spin fucking anythign. I'm genuinely not made for this fucking world and don't take that as me aiming to kill myself because there is no way in hell I'd even be able to do that nor is there any way shit's going to get any better despite me constantly fucking trying. I'm burnt the fuck out.

i'll just rot and continue existing, even as the scapegoat enemy of the week unable to do shit every other fucking day no matter if I'm online or offline.

 

[long waters]

The only hurdle between then and now is my birthday. I don't know what I want to do for my birthday dinner - for many years we've had a tradition of going to the same restaurant, a vietnamese place downtown, but I want to do something much more lowkey and cook instead. Anything but beef, we're having steak or a roast for new years.

A fellow capricorn perhaps? An early happy birthday to you!

 

[Otterly]

Finally, I feel some motivation with my studies again.
The weather and the darkness that comes in december have been a drain on my personal batteries, but today I was in the zone with some studies.

I think I read in the news that Stockholm has had the gloomiest December ever and had something like 30 mins of sunshine in the last month ? Feel like here we barely see the sun as well.

 

[Foltest]

I think I read in the news that Stockholm has had the gloomiest December ever and had something like 30 mins of sunshine in the last month ? Feel like here we barely see the sun as well.

Yep.
It is just grey out here as well.
I am lucky if I see the sun at all.

 

[Otterly]

Yep.
It is just grey out here as well.
I am lucky if I see the sun at all.

Here it’s dark by 3:30, light maybe 8:30 but it’s very sort of twilighty light, it’s not bright enough. I was down in londonistan a few weeks back and even that difference was huge. You take the kids to school in the dark and then it’s dark when you get home. I don’t like it. I like cold weather, but not darkness

 

[Nick Bockwinkel's Belt]

I forgot I had a steak dry aging in the fridge yesterday so I cooked it up for breakfast this morning along with a can of baked beans. It got me thinking about this "affordability crisis" the news and activists keep sperging over, 'cause this steak tasted better than the last steak I had from a restaurant even though it was a cheap cut of round.

I got it in a package of two 6oz steaks for something like $8.50. I got 8 pork chops for around $11. A can of green beans or sweet corn is less than $2, baked beans about $3.50. So I did some number crunching and found that the cost of groceries for me has gone down by close to 30% in the past 8 months. I buy the same stuff every shopping trip give or take the occasional pack of beer. Two weeks worth of food for me is between $50 and $60, and I'm not eating that generic garbage from China. I've never set foot in a dollar store or even a wal-mart. So I dunno where this "affordability" thing is coming from, unless what they're complaining about is the cost of stuff like snack food or pre-packaged heat-and-serve junk.

The military at least had their uniforms that came in sizes like "Large Long" that was considerate to tall people, why the fuck do t-shirts and polos not have this?

I really hate having to buy 2XL or sometimes even 3XL shirts in order for them to be long enough in the torso. I'm fat, but I'm not that fat.

Skechers slip ins with a gel insert are amazing.

I wear these and they're the best shoes I've ever bought. I'm on my second pair right now, and the first pair lasted me almost ten years. I'll have to check out those Lowa boots if they've got good wide width options. I only need boots that are for long distance walking in snow and ice, and my current pair of boots makes my feet feel like they've been crunched in a wood vise after 3-5 miles.

The weather and the darkness that comes in december have been a drain on my personal batteries

Up here in the American midwest, I kinda like December and January weather. The sun always casts a long shadow, and there's no "midday". It goes from morning straight into evening. I guess it's just personal preference. I prefer autumn and winter to spring and summer, which is probably a minority opinion.

 

[PetiteFeet]

A fellow capricorn perhaps? An early happy birthday to you!

Yessir, early happy birthday to you, too!

 

[TotalNematodeDeath]

I try to leave posts on this site and a few random other ones just to get over my aversion to people some and while it does help it also leaves me a bit lost on what more I can do. I really try to talk to people online and in person but I am just nearly incapable of normal free form speech. Just damn man it be hard for a nearly schizoid and I figured that I would of seen more improvement after 5 years of trying to change this part of me. And happy soon birthdays fellow Capricorns

 

[Alexander II of Russia]

Today, I might have ended one of the best friendships I have ever had with someone, she was one of the nicest persons I have ever met and we got together with so much ease. However, months of tension between us finally explded after a while, and when she decided to try and tell me that she no longer wanted to have this friendship with me, I decided to be the one to end it for good.

I have realized, I am not good for doing friendships and that I'm always the one who ended up ruining it. So I think for the better it's better to not have friends or leaving my heart open for someone else ever again. The pain I feel is unbearable and it might be like this for a long time. Loneliness might be my way to go for a long time for this, but I brought this on myself, it's the cross I will have to carry for a long time. It's all so tiresome.

As an update. We talked a lot about what happened, talked about it for a couple of hours, not as long as I wanted to. She seems exhausted from the situation, as I am as well, and we ended up agreeing that we will taking a break from one another until the situation improves and hopefully times can heal all wounds. Some kind of closure has been made from this, there is still hope that things might get better in the future. I am still in a deep pain though, but at least there is consolation that at least some of it can be saved, we're gonna let father time to do the work to heal and self-reflect. I will try to get better, she will try to get better, only God knows what will happen, but this is the suffering I deserve to get my shit together and change things in my life.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

My week has started optimistically.

In the last few days alone, I’ve had job interviews but with different professions unrelated to what I studied in university and majored in. Now, today, I received through email that I’m getting a second job interview with a marketing research group this upcoming Friday.

If everything works out, I might be getting a new job at the beginning of the first month in the new year.

 

[Yellow Rose Of Texas]

Sometimes I wish winter could last forever so I could stay in bed and keep sleeping.

Years a bust, been incredibly dead tired, stressed out of my mind. Made a funny thing of art last night in reaction to a bot only for it to get deleted which has now even further killed my motivation to do fucking anything because what's the fucking point. People only give a shit about politics tickbox AR YU LEFT OR RIGHT garbage shit and can and will dismiss and spin fucking anythign. I'm genuinely not made for this fucking world and don't take that as me aiming to kill myself because there is no way in hell I'd even be able to do that nor is there any way shit's going to get any better despite me constantly fucking trying. I'm burnt the fuck out.

i'll just rot and continue existing, even as the scapegoat enemy of the week unable to do shit every other fucking day no matter if I'm online or offline.

It’s not your fault the internet has become the way it is. I think most people here generally agree that identity politics has completely brainrotted online discourse as a whole.

 

[WASR96]

I think most people here generally agree that identity politics has completely brainrotted online discourse as a whole.

I fucking hate it. It really makes me miss how there used to just be individual Xenforo forums for pretty much any interest in the early 2000s internet. Sure there was Off-Topic discussion boards on most of them, but they were enjoyable, and most just had a single thread where political bullshit was relegated to. Most of those sites died off in favor of shit like discord and reddit. I think that's why I enjoy KF so much, it has the familiar Xenforo forum layout from days of old and also still lets you call people out/say whatever you want, also like we used to be allowed to do on xenforo forums. X users and redditors whine about KF, but they should really look back at some of those forums. We look like care bears compared to some of those old places haha.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

i think i'm sick with something and have severe brain fog, and i'm bored but i can't focus on anything for more than 5 minutes without giving up. i guess i can try going back to sleep but im not tired

 

[73_Autistic_Fuck_54]

College is sadly not going to happen for me anytime soon, the community college I planned on going to lied by omission by not accurately showing how many books+supplies were actually needed on the main website (I planned on getting a computer support tech certification, alot of what's required for the course is paid software). They have a separate website to buy books and supplies from that showed how much was actually required for the course I was taking. It would be drastically more expensive than I originally thought.

 

[Mother Gooseberry]

Kids screaming, I’m screaming. Kids crying, I’m crying. No monies, no support. Food is too expensive, Christmas joy has been replaced with habitual worry and waking up every day wondering what kind of shit I’ll be dealing with next
I need a drink, or maybe 3 and to sleep for 24 hours straight

 

[WASR96]

College is sadly not going to happen for me anytime soon, the community college I planned on going to lied by omission by not accurately showing how many books+supplies were actually needed on the main website (I planned on getting a computer support tech certification, alot of what's required for the course is paid software). They have a separate website to buy books and supplies from that showed how much was actually required for the course I was taking. It would be drastically more expensive than I originally thought.

Sorry to hear that. Have you looked into CompTIA instead of getting certs through the college route? I'm not on the IT side of computers, but the A+ cert is around $500 for both tests for it. You could knock out that cert which should be able to land you an IT internship. Work that for a bit to get the experience, look into getting Net+ and Sec+ through them if they'll offer to help with certs, and they'll likely hire you full time themselves or you'd be more eligible to find full time IT work. Experience and certs mean a whole lot more in cyber and IT than a degree with no experience does.

I'm not sure what part of the world you're in, but if you're in the U.S. and make under a certain amount each year, you might be able to get a few small grants like the Pell grant which could help offset some of the money needed to take those college classes. At the very least, if nothing else works, do some studying on your own for how computers work so you can answer any questions an interview for tech support might throw your way. Hex, binary, IP addresses, subnetting, Active Directory, ports, are all good places to start. Very basic scripting in Python, PowerShell, how to use WireShark, use of password crackers like JtR to audit compliance wouldn't hurt to know either. I wish you luck and hope something ends up working out for you.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

Attempting to make ginger bread cookies, I say cookies because the cookie cutter I have that's allegedly "man" shaped doesn't look like that to me and I'll probably just do hearts, stars and Christmas trees instead. I'm nitpicky like that.
We don't really have a tradition of baking ginger bread, so it's my first time attempting it. My entire house smells of spices now, mostly cloves because I had to grind some in my spice mill. I'm not sure I mixed the dough for long enough but we shall see.

Weirdly, I am feeling pretty Christmassy. Normally I don't really get into the spirit of the season, I'm all Christmassed out before December 1st because the shops will have been playing Christmas music all through the ass end of October until December, but I think the lack of expectations from my family (the only children in the family, my nieces, are in Thailand with their parents, so I don't even have to worry about putting on a facade of Christmas whimsy for their sake) has allowed me to completely let go of the storm inside of me that I usually go through.
I'm actually shocked at how fast December has gone by already, and I can't wait for January.
The only hurdle between then and now is my birthday. I don't know what I want to do for my birthday dinner - for many years we've had a tradition of going to the same restaurant, a vietnamese place downtown, but I want to do something much more lowkey and cook instead. Anything but beef, we're having steak or a roast for new years.

Despite my shitty sleep schedule, I think I might actually be having a good day? Weird how that works.

ETA - gingerbread recipe is banger. I'll definitely make a second batch.

I dunno when I'll be able to do my birthday dinner. Bday is this Friday but I have no idea if I'll have to report to work or not. And prob won't know for sure til like 4pm Friday.