How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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The Feline Solution 2 said:
One of the reasons (besides the obligatory "Mom would be sad") why i haven't done it yet. If my life is anything to go by i wake up to something much worse after i finally had the balls to do it, Murphy's Law might as well be named (My name's) Law.
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I don't fear things getting worse, I fear them staying the same. Suffering for eternity is more appealing than the hell I live with because at least then my misery has cause. Even worse would be going to some form of paradise since I don't even think I'm capable of happiness.
 
I don't even know any more. I'm so completely without hope for the future anywhere in the world, and I couldn't imagine the horror of being a parent or a child born into clown world.

Nobody cares, and if they try they fail, give up and roll over. Covid times eroded any kind of faith in humanity I had or any faith in the average person having one single fucking testicle.

I only keep living out of spite at this point.
 
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
SSRIs may or may not be a good fit for you, but they can help to clear some fog. And you don't have to be on them forever.
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Thank you so much for your input. I have an appointment scheduled tomorrow where I’m going to bring up everything you mentioned but maybe seeing a therapist before I hop straight onto the SSRI train
I’m feeling very hopeful about it!
 
Overwritten Tapes said:
Back pain like crazy. Btw if anyone has back pain and cant get it to stop, it might be your electrolyte levels being low.
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A new mattress is what did it for me, bought the hardest one they had which was listed for people weighing 140kg (i weigh a bit more than half that) and tada, i don't feel like a cripple anymore when i wake up in the morning. Still got something wrong with my back, threw it out a couple of months back by simply picking up a piece of paper from the ground after it fell out my hands. Floored me for three days, couldn't walk at all the first day, backpain like never before, absolutely ridiculous.
 
Family member visits, breaks washing machine because SHE forgot to check the pockets from HER clothing, somehow it's my fault and she ends up throwing a massive shitfit you'd expect from a spoiled zoomer, except she's in her mid-50s. I managed to fix it with some help from a neighbor but geez... And it's not even the first time she pulls this kind of shit!
 
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A friend of mine gravedanced on Charlie Kirk
At the time I had no clue who he was so I just assumed that he was some really shit person and said “I dunno who that is, but interesting that he died”
Now that I know I feel hella uneasy about that joke he made.
In my mind currently the way I’m coping is by assuming he was just trying to impress me, I look liberal to most people and I know he’s had a crush on me for a good while, so I’m assuming he thought I’d think he was “cool and progressive”. Idk though, even I’ll admit this is total cope.
I genuinely don’t know what to do. I wanna stay friends with him and just tell him “Hey, shit joke, don’t do that again.” But seeing everyone so mad at the grave dancers makes me scared I have to do more. Would love some advice.
 
Everything's going fine in the nest right now, Mama Archeops is coming home this evening and I'll probably join Papa Archeops in picking her up from the airport.

My trip to both of the Disneyland Resort's theme parks was surprisingly enjoyable, I'll post a more in-depth review in the Disney thread.

And the water park trip was just as enjoyable if not more so. We got to go on a fair amount of tube slides and I went on one standard slide (the friend who planned this trip tried to convince me to ride one of the drop slides but I hate the part where the floor gives way). I also picked up a couple of rash guards that worked nicely, the friend that sunburns actually spent more time enjoying the park and less time sitting in the shade and applying sunblock.
 
I log on to complain about something in my life but the featured stunned me speechless. I feel like this happened the last few times I log on here and I just log off. Finally becoming too MATI for the internet I guess
Lingering butter taste said:
Would love some advice.
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You're in here day in day out asking internet racists for advice. I advice that since you have a brain, use it and form your own opinions and actions. If I'm being honest from what I've seen of you, I feel like you just came here to attention farm.
 
Ruined by the Rain said:
You're in here day in day out asking internet racists for advice. I advice that since you have a brain, use it and form your own opinions and actions. If I'm being honest from what I've seen of you, I feel like you just came here to attention farm.
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I get that a lot, but I have to ask you, why would I come to KF of all places for attention? Where there’s a very small guarantee of actually getting a response? There’s a lot better ways to farm attention.

I know it’s hard to believe but my life has sorta always been a mess where I don’t really know what the “right answer” is, and this thread has helped me out a lot before. And yknow, if it ain’t broken don’t fix it. I’ve made some real improvements in my life via this thread, so I keep coming back cause yknow. If it helped last time, it should help again.
 
I don't have much in my life I can enjoy, and much less I can participate in. I like reading manga though and I've enjoyed passing time the last few years doing so. I started looking forward to updates from series I liked and even started to translate stuff I personally wanted to read as a hobby while posting it online.

Now I can't do that. The previous largest scanlation site was C&D'd and now its alternative was similarly. I just want to enjoy my one gay little hobby that lets me forget for a little bit how awful everything else going on is.

I haven't spoken to an actual person outside of work and family in weeks. Even my own family has started to not take my calls. My friends seem to have lost interest in me, and even the girl I was chatting with I think is interested in someone besides me.

It feels like even when I look towards my faith I'm unable to find solace.
 
Feeling overwhelmed at the news just being a constant spiral of bad, and wanting to hobbit with a good book at the moment and not emerge until the first snow has touched. Had to defend myself feeling bad about Charlie Kirk's death - someone I knew compared him to *Hitler*; when as far as I am aware he was a polite, passionate political commentator on the centre right.

That and I'm trying to keep myself busy until classes start, if anything. I've just been pottering around, if nothing else, and playing a lot of Destiny 2.

I feel so bad for his wife and little children. It's awful. :( keeping positive though as best as I can!
 
missnaptime said:
Feeling overwhelmed at the news just being a constant spiral of bad, and wanting to hobbit with a good book at the moment and not emerge until the first snow has touched. Had to defend myself feeling bad about Charlie Kirk's death - someone I knew compared him to *Hitler*; when as far as I am aware he was a polite, passionate political commentator on the centre right.

That and I'm trying to keep myself busy until classes start, if anything. I've just been pottering around, if nothing else, and playing a lot of Destiny 2.

I feel so bad for his wife and little children. It's awful. :( keeping positive though as best as I can!
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It's weirdly impactful

I don't remember people being this bereaved and angry after 9/11
In fact 9/11 I mostly remember shock and then people being way too tolerant, forcing us all to go to mosques as kids

There's something intensely personal about losing Mr. Kirk
 
Big League said:
There's something intensely personal about losing Mr. Kirk
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I'm not a murican but hearing that some political figure got shot and killed over his opinion is pretty shocking news. More shocking is it being the US instead of some shitholeistan
missnaptime said:
someone I knew compared him to *Hitler*; when as far as I am aware he was a polite, passionate political commentator on the centre right.
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I don't know... Lately it feels like you guys are approaching the point that people will lynch others for the crime of having a different political opinion
 
Back pain bros be grateful that you don't require 1:1 physio for it, if you do - do as much as you can with your physio. Do your best to mitigate your back pain issues if and when you can, sometimes nothing you can do will help and you'll be stuck with only a few strengthening exercises you can do to lessen pain/damage over time. If you're physically in a position to lessen your backpain before it gets too bad, please do your best to.

Nothing worse than back spasm and intense pain to halt you in your tracks before you're middle-aged, use it or lose it <3
 
Jesus Swept said:
Covid times eroded any kind of faith in humanity I had or any faith in the average person having one single fucking testicle.
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I feel like it is not talked about enough how much of a schism it put into society. You are never going to forget the people in your life who tried to make you conform. There seems to be a push from the powers that be and society to conveniently forget about what happened, which is just going to make all of us even more atomized in the end.
 
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