How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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As for me I busted up my wrist last week. I have to keep it in a split, basic tasks cause me debilitating pain, and the painkillers have stopped working. So if anyone could do me a favor and just straight up fucking mercy kill me, that'd be great.
I used to pour concrete and upon fracturing my elbow I used a pillowcase sling for 24 hours, went to emerge and they said it was 12 hour wait. I went home and moved all my belongings to a new house, went back to work (extremely physically demanding) a week later. I had a bruise across probably half a foot diameter and still have floater bone fragments in there. I assume that u don't have a high pain tollerance.
 
things are starting to get better, while I do feel that society generally sucks right now, I do feel its always good to remember that we live in a historical period just like anyone else who has ever lived in history, and most people who have existed are unknown right down to their name, I feel like much of the current crisis facing the western world at least is the advent of the internet, its like World War I where outdated tactics met a new technology, our brains clearly havent evolved for stuff like the internet, and while that should be a blackpill I feel it mostly isn't for people who can remember 99% of the shit you see on shit like twitter and reddit is alarmist bullshit, for now Ive been focusing on doing things I enjoy and that has worked well so far.
This was very powerful and healthy for me to realise. Disengaging from all social media was the best thing I've ever done. Our neurology isn't designed to be this plugged into so much information - it makes the experience of your life an ocean wide but an inch deep.

Nothing on Reddit or Twitter matters at all. Spend your limited attention on things that are real, instead of shitty abstractions designed to piss you off. It will have a more positive affect on your mental health than you can imagine.
 
Doc says I might have tonsil cancer, reffered me to ear nose throat specialist to get checked for it. I call specialist, they say 1 year wait. That is a wild long time to wait.
Any way your doc can expedite that/send you somewhere else? If it's cancer you want it removed ASAP. A year to let it metastasize would be catastrophic. I hope it's not cancer or your doc can help you out quicker. I'm about to have to do 2 21 day inpatient stays for harsher chemo to attack the shit that metastasized, I don't wish my current life situation on anyone.
 
Whoever said it gets easier as time goes on when a loved one dies obviously lied
I feel the same. Lost someone almost 10 years ago and i feel i haven't even started to comprehend that he's gone. I still get fucked up by it when i visit my aunt and see pictures of him everywhere, nothing changed in my feelings regarding his death, it still feels like it happened yesterday. Shit sucks and will forever suck.

Doublepost because i can't edit the last one. What gives? I swear those edit times used to be way longer
 
a very angry painter who was very much possibly a virgin
Hitler was deeply attached to his half-niece Geli Raubal, 19 years his junior. She began living at his residence after her mother, Angela, became Hitler's housekeeper in 1925. Although the exact nature and extent of their relationship is unknown, Kershaw describes it as a latent "sexual dependence".

I'd say they were probably banging since she ended up killing herself.

some disfigured autistic fuckup shitposter on kiwifarms.
@theralph has two children and two ex-wives. You are too harsh on yourself. I'd recommend not to radicalize though, since every radical is an angry opinionated cunt full of angst no matter what their views are, so it won't help you beyond feeling justified at times and angry all the time because minorities exist/white people exist/gays exist/sharia law is not worldwide/anime isn't real.

I understand your pain though. One man said that all we need is "to find our people and calm down". Easier said than done.
 
I've read your comments, and I apologize for not recalling specifics, so this may be annoyingly redundant, but yes, get that needy quest for reassurance under control.
yeah, thats the plan for me. i've got a lot of good techniques to regulate anxiety, but I sometimes have little spirals like that. every day is new, so is how I manage things if its not so hot. nobody should be responsible for my mental well-being aside from me so I try very hard to make sure that i'm responsible and not trying to be an emotional burden on others :)
 
I feel the same. Lost someone almost 10 years ago and i feel i haven't even started to comprehend that he's gone. I still get fucked up by it when i visit my aunt and see pictures of him everywhere, nothing changed in my feelings regarding his death, it still feels like it happened yesterday. Shit sucks and will forever suck.

Doublepost because i can't edit the last one. What gives? I swear those edit times used to be way longer
Grief doesn't heal, because by definition it almost always cannot. Grief is pain felt by the absence of something, and for most people that means the loss of something you loved that cannot be returned.

My opinion, not that you asked, is that the wound stays open perpetually, but as we keep on living, we get big enough and strong enough that the wound slowly threatens daily life less often, doesn't get infected as often. Eventually you've grown so big that it's just a cut you rarely notice anymore, and looking at it reminds you of something precious from ages long gone, but no longer threatens to consume you.


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You are too harsh on yourself.
That about sums it up honestly.

And yeah, I'm just latching onto schizo shit because life feels just so meaningless.

I really wish I could cope with religion but I just... Can't.

The whole concept of blind faith in my opinion is just a weakness. "Bro just trust me bro" never works lol. Remember COVID? Remember the heckin soyience? Literally people shitting all over that (rightfully so) were deeply hypocritical by being religious.

Idk, it's a tangent. I just need some sort of thing to actually look forward to in life, I have hobbies (copes) but it really isn't anything I'd be willing to die for y'know?

I need a reason to endure my dogshit life, something to wake up for and go "well, this makes it all fucking worth it.".
 
Baby DeLawyer 2.0 is here! 3.53kg at three weeks early. Vitals all good.

The @Meiwaku avatar rides again!!!

Big ups to Jersh and his gay doxing website. Years ago I was terrified to be a parent, but looking at the absolute human garbage catalogued here and seeing them reproduce made me think “Shit, I know I can do a better job than that. I might as well do it.”

Now I have two perfect mini-DeLawyers. I love my little family. Feel very blessed rn.
 
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