How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Dizzyuntildeath]

One of these things is not like the other.

Ooooh, that's spicy.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I had to log back in on here after dealing with grief/sadness of my father’s death, as well now coming to the reality that I need to get a new job to keep my life afloat. My mother is still moving strong, though we’re keeping it day by day. Either way, I’m just glad to be on here posting, DDoS attacks and all

 

[Betonhaus]

Thought I had some money left in my account so I paid some bills and such only for my bank to politely remind me that I neglected to check if a major bill was actually automatically withdrawn before I checked. Now I need to borrow a little bit just so I have my account in the black until payday next week

 

[Lesbian Grandma]

Broke up with my boyfriend monday night and I was really upset at first but all of my friends I talked to about it are telling me I did the best thing for myself. I'm still a bit sad but feeling a little better about it thanks to them.

 

[WASR96]

Finally snapped and created some hostility towards my extended family. Mom called me upset that her SIL decided to use her "vast knowledge" (she's a fucking medical biller) to try to tell my Mom how we're not managing my cancer correctly and how it was, somehow, my parents fault that I had to be taken by ambulance last week. I still haven't felt 100% back to normal yet and not having the energy to let people shit on two of the only good people in my support system, I called up the SIL and let her know she can mind her own business, she's not a real doctor or nurse so wtf would she know, and that we're going to have issues if she ever talks to my Mom like that again.

My REAL doc called today and said my numbers look good and that my immune system is caught back up, but I'm guessing after that call my Uncle won't be coming over for college football next weekend lol. Oh well, I've actually really enjoyed it just being my immediate family and friends lately. My extended family has royally sucked ass this entire year.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

I was out walking and saw there were a bunch of blackberries. So I went out to forage.


I might make some crumble

 

[Celestial Peace]

Spoiler: If the topic of suicide triggers you, do not read this

Some days ago, I tried to do the 'ole controlled prescription meds + booze combo. Heart beating skyrocketed and went to hospital.

There's some days that I simply can't take it anymore, dude.

 

[Liquid Kent]

Spoiler: If the topic of suicide triggers you, do not read this

Some days ago, I tried to do the 'ole controlled prescription meds + booze combo. Heart beating skyrocketed and went to hospital.

There's some days that I simply can't take it anymore, dude.

If I could hug you, I would. I won't tell you that it's okay, but I would still hug you if you're alright with that.

Spoiler: Thread tax, a wellness adventure

I met a girl at the job I'm at (Airport Flight Facilitation, basically check-in) at the gate and she's the sweetest person, met her family and immediately my gut tells them they're not nice people and I cannot trust any of them. When she was hospitalized, no one visited her, and she was really touched that I was there on my day off by her side the whole time. When her older sister came in, there was this heavy oppressive, almost toxic vibe coming from the sister.

One day my new girl was really quiet and wants to meet me after a flight. She broke down and started crying, telling me her family forced her to go to legal moneylenders and made her sign two loans so they could get all the money. It turns out all this time, her bonus and her pay has been taken by them, despite her protests and not wanting to be used as an open line of credit for them. When she speaks out and tries to tell them off, her parents and older siblings physically abuse her. All this time she waits to eat with me is because that's the extent of her family's financial and physical abuse of her.

Needless to say, when I found this out after she told me she didn't want to go home anymore, I booked her a hotel for an extended stay until I found a room rental and got her a good safe place to stay. Police reports were made and a protection order was set up - the law was on our side when her family filed her as a missing person and blamed me for "brainwashing" her against them. I called in all the favors I have from all my friends and she had an instant army when we went to her family's house to recover her passport (her mom was holding it) and her remaining belongings, work uniforms and laptop that the family just used with impunity with no respect for her personal boundaries. Hell, my own dad was there as a peacekeeper (he was an anti-terrorist cop) and I thank god he was there otherwise my friends would have just rushed her asshole dad and beat him up.

It's been a crazy three weeks but the love of my life is safe away from her fucked up family.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

 

[Lingering butter taste]

I had therapy today but we had to end it early cause she could tell I wasn’t focused (I kept shifting and looking away and when she asked if something was wrong I said “This is taking too long”). Now that I’m out I feel bad, I need to get more serious about this.

She made good points, she kinda stumped me when I told her why I went off meds. When I told her “I was scared I would be seen as a dork so I went off meds” she just went “Do you feel better off meds?” And I said no. And I kinda there just realized how stupid getting off meds was. A stupid motivation with literally no pay off.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

I had therapy today but we had to end it early cause she could tell I wasn’t focused (I kept shifting and looking away and when she asked if something was wrong I said “This is taking too long”). Now that I’m out I feel bad, I need to get more serious about this.

She made good points, she kinda stumped me when I told her why I went off meds. When I told her “I was scared I would be seen as a dork so I went off meds” she just went “Do you feel better off meds?” And I said no. And I kinda there just realized how stupid getting off meds was. A stupid motivation with literally no pay off.

Oh I like this kind of stuff!
Do you like measurable scientific data that you can verify with your own eyes?
Go to this cow's thread Only madness lay within
You recognize that the pills and the therapy help, but you get frustrated with the process and so you self sabotage. Many such cases!
But go there and behold how BAD that can be for you. I am in no way saying you are a beat by beat replication, it's more a horror story of one of the worst case scenarios. She is bonafide permanently mentally ill, but finds medication and therapy 'boring' and life is 'more fun' and so prefers the misery wheel of hypomania -> mania -> possible psychosis -> crash out -> depression crater -> I want to get better -> pills and therapy are boring -> hypomania
Getting off the pills and out of therapy and stuff is a great goal to aim for, but its part of the process for a reason. Don't be like Tiffany.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

Oh I like this kind of stuff!
Do you like measurable scientific data that you can verify with your own eyes?
Go to this cow's thread Only madness lay within
You recognize that the pills and the therapy help, but you get frustrated with the process and so you self sabotage. Many such cases!
But go there and behold how BAD that can be for you. I am in no way saying you are a beat by beat replication, it's more a horror story of one of the worst case scenarios. She is bonafide permanently mentally ill, but finds medication and therapy 'boring' and life is 'more fun' and so prefers the misery wheel of hypomania -> mania -> possible psychosis -> crash out -> depression crater -> I want to get better -> pills and therapy are boring -> hypomania
Getting off the pills and out of therapy and stuff is a great goal to aim for, but its part of the process for a reason. Don't be like Tiffany.

Oh geez, that’s uh. Wow. Definetly a cautionary tale.

I just feel bad that I need them to begin with. I feel like I’m weak for that, everyone else is normal yet I need a pill to not attempt offing myself or doing something else stupid. I feel lesser than. I used to look at it positively but I stopped.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Oh geez, that’s uh. Wow. Definetly a cautionary tale.

I just feel bad that I need them to begin with. I feel like I’m weak for that, everyone else is normal yet I need a pill to not attempt offing myself or doing something else stupid. I feel lesser than. I used to look at it positively but I stopped.

You're not weak, they're tools. View them as such. Everyone needs and uses tools, be it a drill, a hammer, a case of beer, or an SSRI and talking to a person to find your way through the fog.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

You're not weak, they're tools. View them as such. Everyone needs and uses tools, be it a drill, a hammer, a case of beer, or an SSRI and talking to a person to find your way through the fog.

When you frame it like that, I guess you’re right. Everyone needs a tool in life, mine is just different. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

When you frame it like that, I guess you’re right. Everyone needs a tool in life, mine is just different. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Good. Now get that shit locked down. Every body on the wall means fewer monsters in the courtyard.

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

BP went back up so they’ve called ‘clamps scheduled baby arrival for Friday. Three weeks early but technically at the line for not premature. Baby’s a big’n so hopefully this is the right decision.

We are still woefully unprepared but at least have a bassinet arriving today. I feel like my brain is melting. I don’t remember being this panicked with my first one, but I did kind of think I had more time.

Still haven’t told my relatives. Don’t know if I’m going to as they’re a bunch of vampire ghouls who dgaf about me and just want to rub on a fresh baby. Wish I had some nearby support since Husband DeLawyer is just about as stressed as I am, but I’m still extremely blessed with my little family. God is good but hoo boy He is testing me.

Trying to sell Husband DeLawyer on “Fay” as a middle name because of Cobes, lol.

 

[missnaptime]

seeing my beloved in the next few months, and despite the several times i've asked if he's excited to see me, which he has responded in the positive for, I cant help but feel anxious and worry that he hates me, cannot stand me, wants to end things, that he thinks awful things about me because i'm a little retarded, despite him planning so many nice things to do together. why is naptime freaking out about this? because we had a short convo due to him going to bed soon when I was up at 2am in the morning. like a retard. my brain is fucking stupid and I wish I could shake it in a way that undoes the autism and anxiety sometimes. the autism can stay, but the anxiety can fuck off.

anxiety fucking sucks. I hate feeling this way with no real basis and I hate feeling like I need the reassurance of 'no I don't hate you'. and having to double check how he's feeling and if he's alright because he bottled up his emotions once when I kept asking him to be honest, and now a part of me doubts everything in that regard. i'm glad that part is getting smaller with time. I don't want anyone to feel responsible for my mental health. I gotta get my shit together and do my best, man. because if this is my best, then its pathetic. fucking hell.

 

[73_Autistic_Fuck_54]

I'm tense, because I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, and how I would do it.

 

[Onion Guide]

Life is good, and I have much to be thankful for, but I've just randomly been diagnosed with epilepsy (TLE), and it's worsening. Pretty shit luck for it to suddenly present in your late 20's. It's scary, and everyone is treating me like I'm disabled or going to die or something. Can't drive, can't be alone for long periods, it's like being a kid again.

Thankfully it's not impacting my work much. Managed to bench 130kg the other day, despite my brain being all being retarded, so I've got that going for me. Can't wait to have this shit under control.

 

[Nick Obre]

Spoiler: If the topic of suicide triggers you, do not read this

Some days ago, I tried to do the 'ole controlled prescription meds + booze combo. Heart beating skyrocketed and went to hospital.

There's some days that I simply can't take it anymore, dude.

Well, if nothing else, now you know you don't actually want to do it.

So don't.