You cannot fill another person's cup if yours is empty. Depression coma is your brain not so subtly saying GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK PLEASE OR I WILL SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN. What's that saying abused people post on their Facebook every week or something? Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm?
Fact alone you want to engage with people is enough to kill the tism theory. Shit, even non-tistic techies hate talking to people and rather work from a hole in a dark office if not from home. We've reached a point where people romanticize not wanting to talk to strangers. I'm in the same boat; I've finally got the job I wanted so now I just gotta.. work. And my next goal should be a social one, but other than sports clubs I really have no idea.
The last thing any tismo wants is to engage with normies. Feeling othered is more like a social anxiety, but there can be 100 reasons for that. Also, the most basic autism test is the ability to understand sarcasm and irony. If you are able to you are in the clear.
you can learn something non the less. its just time and patients. talent is irrelevant
I've done this a few times and yeah it's all the same. I play MMOs and a lot of guilds are run by women. The guild is less of a guild and more of a fan club for her that everyone falls over themselves to kiss her ass. That's before all the gay bullshit and trannies that fill the servers. Everyone is so insulated in their own little groups that it's impossible to even get noticed let alone join in anything. I was in a Warhammer tabletop discord and that had a schism recently where retards got the whole server shut down because the admin was too much of a chud. They knew there would be no way for them to make a successful competing server unless they managed to get the first one shut down. Now there's is the more popular one and it's so fucking gay I can't stand it.
I've tried but I think after several years of not just school but personal study I still can't figure out computers or programming. There's something wrong with my brain that the second it gets overwhelmed or doesn't understand something it completely shuts down and blocks any and all information from coming in. It's the one thing I just don't know how to overcome. I can't sit there for hours staring at a problem and working it until I figure it out. And I don't have any kind of mentor or something that I can go to to. And if you've ever tried participating in tech forums people either talk over your head or talk down to you because actually your question is wrong.
This is my youth with TF2; the popularity of social games Webfishing and VRChat in general. You get no attention if you don't set out to get it. There's no "the guy who always plays medic", "the raid healer who never really talks but is reliable" or "that faggot Zangief nigger who ruins the local". You can sign up for 10 raids in a row but if you're no fun on Discord, you might as well not. Even if I go "No. I'm gonna max level a mage in Classic for ME and MY achievements", I still know I won't do any content end-game cause there's no social incentive. I can talk with the same 4 guildies during off-season in WoW only to be completely deafened once the Dicord clique returns.
It's funny having witnessed tens of people want to become artists or programmers or what have you, but they don't enjoy it and have no actual reason to learn any of it. Great directors learn whatever needs learning to produce their perfect film. Imagine then instead someone learning all the angles and editing just to sit down and go "uh, what now". I've tons of respect for anyone who sit down and do something for the fun of it, and that's what I feel lacking in my own life. Of course, it feels better for it to be a meaningful skill as opposed to a niche video game.
I've tried this before too. I really put myself out there to try and socialize in communities, especially when I was doing some hardcore raiding in FFXIV. It was like pulling teeth to even get noticed, but one day we get a sub and everyone is fawning over them.
