How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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night shift sucks. I think after I'm done here in three weeks I'll ask my friend about joining him at his line boring job that's two weeks on and two weeks off, as five weeks straight of this might be a bit more then I can handle.
 
The last few months have been very rough but it's led me to seriously reconsider my life and a lot of choices I've made. Generally I've just been trying to focus on healthier habits like getting outside in nature, getting better sleep, eating healthy and cooking more often, and most importantly avoiding wasting my time playing games and browsing the internet. A lot of my problems I feel stemmed from filling my mind with too many distractions, and giving time to let my mind breathe and just let my thoughts happen has helped a lot. Additionally, I'm back in therapy and I've also been talking to my doctor about possible ADHD thanks to a lot of the HealthyGamer GG videos on the subject, and talking to a friend about her experience with the disorder. It seems like there are a lot of people who've had it and didn't realize or simply weren't diagnosed earlier in life for it and it's sort of frustrating since every last thing she described to me matched exactly how I've felt for decades.

I would love more than anything to be in a better job before the holidays come back around too but for now I'm just trying to tackle one thing at a time.
 
Right now 2 things are happening in my world -

1) I am getting really fucking good at micro scale machining, I tried being boring an watching TV an reading books etc just not me so I set up a workbench with some watch makers tools I can use while confined to a wheel chair and I've found I am oddly really fucking good at tiny stuff.

2) I am offended as a person who's had to use a wheel chair for a (thankfully short) period of time that this is considered acceptable, not a single thing about this is easy to use, or comfortable or very adjustable and the second I can get back into my workshop I am going to redesign these fucking things and make the design open to everyone for zero cost - nobody should have to put up with this shit of a design especially when it makes your problem worse and I can see why my dad got out the fucking thing as much as he could an prefaird to walk on a zimmer under his own steam than use a wheel chair. Kid's fucking roller scooters have better suspension than these things.
 
tomorrow is my birthday. Torn between feeling tired and disappointed as I've accomplished nothing, and celebrating because I'm still kicking despite it all. Maybe I'll do both.
 
Outer Space Traveller said:
Congratulations! Have you noticed something other than nail biting or caffeine? Perhaps wanting to eat sweets and such? My grandmother upped her sugar intake ever since quitting smoking 10+ years ago, only now she has to control it due to diabetes.
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Much obliged!

I was never a huge sweets guy, but I'd say the uptake has been marginal at best. I'm a pretty big guy, so I go through a lot each day anyway. About all I'll have on a day to day basis is a brownie or cookie with my protein shake.

Unless I'm holiday, then I turn into Nikocado.
 
Pale Empress said:
What kind of symptoms were you getting?

It varied but I was averaging probably a pint a day on days that I worked, and up to a 750 bottle on my off days. Thankfully I didn't have any egregious withdrawal symptoms, the worst was insomnia and anxiety in the initial week. I work in the service industry and alcohol consumption is very much hand in glove with that career and the lifestyle that comes with it, so the most difficult part in the early days was just not giving into peer pressure and the convenience of having a couple shots to take the edge off.
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So I have rhinitis and a host of other gay respiratory shit going on, hay-fever, general irritation, and some allergen-induced asthma.

First couple of weeks I had crazy indigestion and heartburn. Then there was a period where if I burped, there was a 50/50 chance I'd vomit into my mouth slightly. General chest discomfort, shit like that. Also, I couldn't stop salivating.

There was also one evening where after having dinner, I actually felt like I was having a heart attack. I literally just sat upright in the chair and braced for the worst. It passed, and never happened again.

Add to that intermittent fits of coughing, dry, ticklish throat irritation, and alternating gobs of sputum/dry mouth seemingly any time of the day.

All of that seemed to subside after about six weeks, thank God.
 
Tingle said:
giving time to let my mind breathe and just let my thoughts happen has helped a lot.
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I think a lot of peoples' anxiety issues and sleeplessness/mind racing at night is due to them not having any time to just think. Always listening to something, watching something, playing something.

I've been driving to work with nothing on, going to the store without earbuds, not taking my phone to the bathroom, working in silence, etc. I seem to have a long term plan for every issue now, dont have a racing mind at night, and just overall have a low anxiety level.

Just 30 straight minutes a day of rawdogging life helps me a lot.

Tax: finally gonna be done with my old apartment tonight, a great weight off my shoulders.
 
Flavius Claudius Julianus said:
I've thought about it many times, but I can't emphasis it bad was. Even when I was slim and in shape when younger, I'd have swimming pools under my arms after an hour or two. Devastating to one's self esteem.

I figure even if I get cancer or something down the line, the 'normality' I lived for a decade plus would have been worth it.
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Have you ever tried a prolonged fast? At least 5 or 7 days. If the problem is indeed a mitochondrial dysfunction, then putting the body into a state of energy stress could help, because autophagy will take out the inefficient ones to feed the healthy ones.

On the supplement side, you could try CoQ10.
 
56 others said:
I think a lot of peoples' anxiety issues and sleeplessness/mind racing at night is due to them not having any time to just think. Always listening to something, watching something, playing something.

I've been driving to work with nothing on, going to the store without earbuds, not taking my phone to the bathroom, working in silence, etc. I seem to have a long term plan for every issue now, dont have a racing mind at night, and just overall have a low anxiety level.
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Idk, I feel like every brain is different with this.
Definitely not how it works for me, ever since probably late middle school. Due to what I do for a living, there's ample time for thinking, yet the mulling, anxious thoughts will become completely overwhelming no matter how much you allow them to do their thing. Then again my anxiety has been on the extreme end for a long, long time. The only thing that actually managed to cure the insomnia was watching something familiar until I fall asleep. I also can't really focus on a task in a complete silence, especially when it's something where you need to be careful, like accounting. If I don't blast the most aggressive music in my ears, I start making mistakes. And if I drive without radio on, every noise the car makes starts to become increasingly more concerning.
Tax- I think the last time I could walk around in shorts in mid-September was when I was like 8. The grass has been growing enough to make up for the awful, dry start of the summer, so I'm very much enjoying this bonus summer month. Hopefully it'll stay like this and October won't roll around with a wave of cold rain and mud.
 
PaleTay said:
My family is convinced UFO Cowboys is real and have gotten very angry at me for making fun of it.
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a cursory google search reveals that's a can of worms i don't want to touch. If they can't be convinced it's fake, try pointing out the more obvious stuff as being scripted.
 
My previous shift was cancelled because my supervisor had a family emergency, I wasn't able to hear everything he was saying to the shift supervisor but I did hear "daughter" and "hospital" so it is very serious. Since we are the only two on the night shift and he was really upset, I'm not quite sure what the best timing would be to check in for tomorrow's shift, or if I should check with the company boss for what he wants to do. I'm reasonably sure anything I'll say would be too unemotional or tactless so I don't really want to make things worse while his attention is directed on his family.
 
Brain Power said:
I'm getting so much deja vu about the thing with haitians in USA it's ridiculous. It's a complete carbon copy of the shit that happened here starting with Bachelet 2. It's like they forgot to introduce (((the plan))) over there and now they're speedrunning to get to the same situation we're currently in.
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Little bit of a secret: always pay attention to what happens in Chile.
Whatever happens there is likely to happen in the US a few years later.
 
So had the pre-op today, went smoothly the Mrs was with me an while a Vetinary Doctor was able to ask any questions I felt I couldn't verbalise and held my hand the whole time - I would be lieing if I said I wasn't worried about it, an she helped me a lot not just in translating medical terms but in explaining risk etc and I was worried more than I care to let on but she knew that an I now feel better.

I've been nill by mouth since 6pm an on light food since I got up this morning and I desperately want a coffee and a bacon sandwich but I just want this over with so I'm sitting in this confounded fucking chair till i can get myself into bed and I've been told should everything go OK I'd be ok for a light dinner and coffee by early evening tomorrow an discharge on Friday lunch time, and back to walking on my own without support in about a week maybe 10 days and back to normal in 6 weeks.

This last few hours has given me a pure hate for the state of the average wheelchair though like I hated them before but I am now in a really fucking angry and I am going to fix this shit state nobody deserves this sort of assistance, it's absurd that this is even called a mobility aid, this is something I can fix and will fix and I am going to give it away for free because this is no way to live.
 
over the moon. I was gone for 2 years as right around the time that loonytroon Keffals had their tard rage against the farms: had a mind consuming work transfer to a new city. Last week finally found where I put the pass to my kiwi burner email, wallah, am back. Means a lot because had to buy a new car recently, and that means no plane rides or nail salon trips to keep the gloomies at bay.


Obligatory (but sincere) Praise to Null and crew for running such a robust impossible to kill community. Now for a fortnight get to pretend its 2015 again, during my gapyear neet glory.
 
Got a message back from the HR and they decided to not hire me. Oh well, at least I still am employed and able to pay most of my bills.
I had another job interview, this time fully in English, for a role that if I get the job I will earn double than I get today because it's in dollars, and it's part time! Hoping really hard it's not a scam.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to improve my curriculum to make it ATS friendly but Jesus Rollerblading Christ, sometimes I feel really lost. It's bad that recruiters never give a feedback. At this point I am like "am I really making a progress here or just making myself anxious and wasting my time?".
 
Been watching Orange is the New Black and it's honestly sad how appealing the idea of being associated with a role in a community is. The way they're put into electrical work, library shit, the garden etc. To practice something and then be released and get a job or internship in that profession. Likewise at work, I've overheard people considering new jobs and it's just shit like "I could do a 5 week course to become a security guard" and then they'd find work in a month or less.

Coming from academia and unemployment and the whole "Muh values" grift, it sounds so appealing. I know that newly qualified electricians and truck drivers got a rough fucking time finding a job these days cause nobody wants a newbie, so it's not any easier, but it sure as shit is more concrete.
 
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