How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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thegooddoctor said:
I’m not doing so great, a friend of mine who has been one of my closest has recently been acting really unreasonably and kinda douchey. Because of some incident that I did several years ago in public, he has been increasingly wary of when we go and do stuff together, I have apologised countless times and this was literally at the end of last decade, so he’s being pretty unreasonable I feel.

He’s about to celebrate his upcoming birthday at the end of this month yet he’s made really odd conditions taht i can only come, if I bring my sister along to kind of watch me, I don’t think he realises how fucking creepy that sounds, and I really don’t want to do that for obvious reasons and also he’s had the hots for her for the last 5 years so I gotta be wary of him if he tried to pull anything.

But he’s so adamant about these conditions and say I can’t some unles si bring her along because he doesn’t trust me to not make a scene in public. I find that very insulting that he thinks I’m some edgy twelve year old that need s to be babysat by my sister. Yet I honestly do want to go to this since I haven’t been to a proper party in years and don’t have many close friends throwing them anytime soon. So I gotta ask what should I do to snap him outta this?
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Honestly, and being 100% serious here, you need to talk to him about this. This is manipulative and controlling shit and needs to be explained to themfor what it is.

A friendship with absurd conditions is not a friendship nor is it a healthy relationship of any sort. You're cognizant of your actions in the past and have left them there, this 'friend' clearly hasn't. That reality needs to be drilled into their head or you need to start working on finding new people to befriend.

Thread tax: preparing for a move in a few months. Leaving friends and great coworkers behind but it's too damn expensive to live in this neck of the woods anymore. Let this be a lesson in maintaining good relations with family, I'd be up shit creek without 'em. Kinda mixed feelings about it but I've been drifting away from my already limited social circles here, they're all going fucking retarded.
 
In a weird space where I’m objectively happy but my depression and anxiety and autism are causing me to engage in self-sabotage. I need to find a good therapist but lately everyone I’ve tried has suuucked and been a cheerleader rather than help me get to the bottom of why I’m stuck with certain destructive behaviors. If not for my dog and my partner I would never get out of bed. I know it’s due to my messed up brain since objectively things really are good.
 
Feeling like a mess. While trying not to PL, to summarize I've been making mistakes and learning what I shouldn't be as a person. Granted, we all do sometimes but the one thing I've been trying to do is be better. A better person, better friend, and a better kiwi. It's the very least I can do.
 
Very down at the moment, starting to realise unless I win the lottery I really dont stand a chance of owning a house, even renting by my self doesnt seem like an option. I will be that 30 year old with flat mates or that 30 year still living at home. Hate my job but dont have the courage to change careers so thinking about suicide a lot
 
My speech patterns are changing. For example, if someone says something directed towards me I usually respond to them before saying anything else. Now if someone asks me something or tells me something, I say 'What?' even though I clearly heard what they said. It's involuntary.

I'm also noticing that when I'm speaking to an acquaintance or a family member (people I don't feel like talking to), my voice is deep and dreary, and uninterested. However when I speak with a friend, my voice is higher, and I talk faster.
 
Had to turn down two jobs recently, one was working graveyard in a mini-mart, the other is much farther out of town, and is all day shifts, but we can't afford the gas right now.
 
Man, these last days have been a rollercoaster.
I had slept like 5 hours in the last two days and ate twice in that same period
I'm pretty sure my "nap" yesterday was a full on hallucination I had for five hours straight, so I had breakfast at 8 PM and just went to sleep again.
Woke up feeling wonderful today tho.
 
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Living in Southern California has it’s perks. Cute Oranges make the perfect Orange Juice! 😎
 
I am having absolute tard anxiety about the fucking war. Do I have anything to be afraid of? Probably not? Is my brain deciding to fuck itself over? Yea, it is. Even though it's been explained to me multiple times why we're not all about to be nuked into oblivion. Bitch is giving me bad dreams. Damn you Russia. I'm tired of this shit.

But at least it's not medical anxiety anymore so that's probably a step forward.
 
Today I realized that I can’t spend too much time lurking on my favorite Twitter accounts, since I fear that I’ll get more brain damage from just reading the replies to people who disagree with the tweets in question.

I should read my books more often and not get distracted.
 
I have realized I'm wayy too gay, everything I do is gay. I don't mind though, people around me (minus my husband) may not tho.

Edit: some faggot stole my steam account and I'm trying to get it back :(
Edit2: woke up and I luckily got it back, thank fucking god.
 
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