Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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Today's my birthday. Nothing really going on. Probably dinner with the folks and thats it. Possibly going out with a co-worker in a week or so.
 
It being Easter, my family and I are going to a church service, but not to our usual one. The church we go to is always extremely packed on Christmas and Easter: two days when families who are Christian but don't go to church feel guilty and decide to go, thus fill up the place lol.
 
I was actually supposed to go to a sunrise service, but we decided against it when we came to our senses and realized we're not gonna want to drive out to the church so early in the morning. In a sense I was disappointed, but more sleep for me!
I've got some things I ought to be working on so hopefully I'll pull those together.
 
So my research sponsor had her grant approved, so I'll be working at least 2 months this summer. A crazy amount of money, for the kind of work I do.
 
I tried to do some Couch to 5K today but couldn't do it - I did the 5 minutes walking OK, but the minute of jogging wore me out. I was supposed to do 8 reps of running for a minute and walking for 1 1/2 minutes. I just did 4 reps and have to make some adjustments.

Still, I did that at 10 in the morning and I still feel pretty good about jogging today. Exercise really does improve your mood, LOL
 
I played Hektor. I didn't see a single monster in the entire game. I'm kinda mad about it.
 
Today, I went back to college from spring break. It was supposed to be yesterday but the only class I had yesterday was cancelled along with it being cancelled again since my professor had gotten ill. Luckily, I had a couple other classes to go to today. Other than that, I enjoyed a bit of a walk home after getting off the bus from college.
 
Today I woke up around 4 am for no reason so now I'm sleep deprived and I have schoolwork to do so I can't sleep so hnnnngggghh........
 
On the whole, the Easter holiday was pretty smoothly for me, but I am tired as fuck and so happy its my day off.

Friday night, (Good Friday, when Jesus was crucified for you non-Christians) was awesome, and I got off early and got to go out, and hung out, used a vape *yawn*, saw an old high school friend and got to catch up with him (take that Chris!). I was out until like 1:30AM, by this point, I am back home watching something like the Langoliers, or the last ten minutes of the Care Bears movie.

Poetically, I could not go out anymore that weekend. I was so tired Saturday night, I chose not to go to the Full Moon party. :heart-empty: It sucked, because I literally met a girl on Friday night while talking to my high school friend (proving my point when I'm not wallflowering it up, girls talk to me) and she even gave me her name (I think I forgot to give her mine, fuck!) and when I asked about its unique-ness, she said it was a name from France. She didn't sound European to me, but hey, a lot of Europeans are very fluent in English, I found.
 
I registered for two classes during the summer and the fall semesters. I really want to make up for the lost time, so I'm taken the chance. One course is on personal growth so that be really interesting.
 
I was going to apply for classes over the summer, but only 1 out of the 3 classes I need is the only class that available, so I've decided to finish up next fall and start working on my Bachelor's after that.
 
I started my new job Tuesday, and I came home sad because it was so much info all at once, and I actually missed my mom for once (she's still on the vacation I mentioned in the coping thread). Today went better though.

I got upset today however, because I wanted to go out on a date with this guy from high school in Charlottesville tomorrow night. He wanted until THE LAST SECOND to tell me he had a gf who is probably skinny and blonde. I feel so ugly and angry that I don't have a date tomorrow night.
 
sparklemilhouse said:
I started my new job Tuesday, and I came home sad because it was so much info all at once, and I actually missed my mom for once (she's still on the vacation I mentioned in the coping thread). Today went better though.

I got upset today however, because I wanted to go out on a date with this guy from high school in Charlottesville tomorrow night. He wanted until THE LAST SECOND to tell me he had a gf who is probably skinny and blonde. I feel so ugly and angry that I don't have a date tomorrow night.
Click to expand...

Don't worry about that guy! He's probably a jerk with bad communication skills anyway! You're doing great!
 
Not sure if this goes in personal lolcows or here, but it's a recent event in my life, so I'll just throw it here. Better safe than off-topic.

Recently, my work just hired a new guy, who happens to have been one of the worst people we've ever had. He's a short, round guy who wears a Kermit green shirt to work every single day. I don't know if he owns multiples of the same item, or just wears the same one every day. I'm sure he doesn't wash it daily in that case, but...oh God I'd rather not think about it. Anyway, it's the EXACT same shade of green as Kermit, as if he skinned the frog alive and is wearing him. He's also mentioned that he tortured animals in his childhood, among other things. Nobody, I repeat NOBODY, likes him.

The thing that really disturbs me is the fact that he's been creeping on female coworkers and refusing to learn how to do his job right. He could ask about it, but refuses to talk to anyone but me. He also thinks he's God's gift to women, on top of that. He said he wanted to have sex with my sister, among other crazy things. (I don't have a sister, but he doesn't know that. I'm going to keep that fact a secret from him)

So by accident, I've discovered that as long as he thinks I'm more insane than he is, he leaves me alone. At least for a while. I've convinced him of some really crazy stuff, to be honest.

I act like a normal person around everyone else though. ;)

For the most part, he leaves me alone most of the time because he thinks I'm a perverted necrophiliac who believes in a UFO-based religion. This "religion" is incredibly detailed now, to the point where it's hard to believe I simply made this up to get a guy at work to leave me alone. The best part?

My coworkers, especially the female coworkers he's creeped on, are fully aware of what I've been doing, and are even in on the joke. AUGH YEAH
 
It's not that I feel extremely, powerfully depressed and upset with the way my life is going. It's that I realized I've been feeling this way for a while and that I've become exceptionally good at faking it, and that I will continue to fake it so that I don't bother my friends and family. I know in my heart that I'll soldier on, but man I can't believe I hadn't noticed how dark and narrow this path had become. I'm turning into the kind of person I don't like: bitter and spiteful. Recently I've said things that are out of character, declined invitations to hang out or socialize because I just said "what's the point", and I felt a really strong pang of jealousy when I heard about a friend of mine's engagement.

God I hope I'm not turning into a Sluthater or something. I'm really very worried.
 
I don't want to go to class today. I haven't skipped any of my classes this semester. But I know if I started it would be a slippery slope and I would become a basement dwelling lolcow-type abomination in no time; it's happened before, and it's not pretty. I gotta keep doing things that progress my life somehow. I gotta get my Bachelor's degree and get a self-supporting job. Keep on keeping on, as they say.
 
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