Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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Ugh. Today was long. Long, long, and rainy.

I'm still kinda recovering from being sick this weekend, and when the rainy weather showed up, I just started feeling giddy and anxious. Then this tourist guy asks me "So why do you dye your hair?" He asked me that because last year my hair was probably a different color the last time he was on the island. Well, I kinda get upset when people directly talk about my appearance (I'm just real sensitive about my appearance I don't like when others critique it) and I was quickly trying to brush the question off… I felt like such a jackass. I mean, I technically did nothing wrong, but its just this was the first time in a long time where I actually lost my head. For the rest of the day, I was just itching for 5:00 to come so I can go home.

Fuck, well. I hope this is the end of the anxiety attacks. Like I told my coworker friend, I'm just glad I haven't been having to hear crap like "Huhuh You're afraid of girls, Ryan" for the past 6 months like I did last year.
 
Guuh the despair of finding decent accommodation *sigh*. This year has been such a struggle to get shit done, man. So I'mma go on a huge tirade about how much my has been sucking for the last 6+ months. It's more for my sake than so you guys can read it
In early December I got kicked out of my parents' house, and my mate Tim said I could stay with him, he had a spare bedroom and his house was the sort to take in strays :lol:. His house was like the party house, where we'd all go to get high and game, so it was pretty epic living there, I already felt welcome. For those of you who see me bitching in chat a lot, Tim's that sperg who can't really look after himself.

December and January were very party-heavy months, as my 18th (as well as 3 other people's 18ths) and Tim's birthday fell under that time frame, as well as Christmas, New Year and all that shit. To be honest I was in a very destructive place, finally let off a parental leash and going mental; I thought people were just being dickheads at the time, but people were making comments about how thin, ill and shaky I looked. Tim and I were averaging 70cl of vodka each a day. This kinda explains why I wasn't on the forum much at the beginning of the year, I was going through some heavy shit :lol:. Tim's Girlfriend of 3 years had left him a few months prior too, which meant he was free to go overboard too.

So I fell off the rails a little, but at least I was enjoying myself. I learned a lot throughout all this too, before I was very naive and not very independent (as I imagine everyone is when they're still living with their parents, and I know I still have a long way to go before being a real "adult". Shit, being and adult is difficult). I mean we weren't planning on partying so hard, it just kinda happened. On my 18th birthday we were both like "yeah we can stop now, this is gonna kill us we need to get our lives back on track." So we started to be normal people again and everything was okay!

Theeen the landlord came round with an eviction notice. Tim's an awesome friend, but fuck me he's not good at living. like wow that man's retarded. He's on disability for Aspergers, meaning that his rent was paid by housing benefit. At some point, his housing benefit was suspended as his ex-girlfriend had moved out (simply because her name was on it, all he had to do was send a form back). I was totally unaware of this until we received the eviction notice, but he wasn't. I was like "how the fuck can you be surprised that the landlord's kicking you out when you've not been paying rent for the past three months?!" He just didn't understand why his landlord would kick him out for not paying rent :roll:.

That is the moment I became aware of how fucking... disfunctional Tim was :lol: obviously this was very very bad, as he was like £1500 in debt to the landlord and we were going to be homeless. So the search for a new flat began. Except Tim is a fucking sperg, who had his Dad sort out his last tenancy (his Dad moved him away from the city because he was such a fuck-up. Sorted out all his benefits and a flat, basically sorting out his life completely and telling him not to fuck it up). So I had to do this shit. Bearing in mind 3 months prior I was still living at home being a normal immature teenager, this was so overwhelming. Coupled with the fact that we're now totally skint, this was not an easy task. I went to a viewing 3 days before we were kicked out, and managed to pull the biggest blag ever.

However when we moved this set off massive alarms or something in the benefits office, they cut off all money both Tim and I got for over a month "pending reassessment." That sucked ass, man. Before then, I had never really gone hungry, like we were having to go to a church to ask for food and shit. It was eye-opening though, I'm a lot more grateful for what I have now. And mucho love for the forumers who helped me out during all this, I may have come across as a bit of a mooch but you guys really helped :heart-full: (special shoutout to catparty and silentprincess, who I honestly like owe everything to :heart-full: ).

So now you're up to date with most of my dramatic life. I've been in this new flat now for about 3 months, it was a god-send when we first found it but it's really not a great place... There's no washing machine, freezer, or really anything and we're having to pay rent out of our own pocket because they don't accept housing benefit. Tim being the retard he is just ignored all the "unpaid rent" shit so his Dad had to pay out, as his guarantor :roll:. I've kinda taken control of Tim's finances now - I've sorted out rent payments, food shopping and I set up a weekly payment thing to his Dad, in an attempt to pay him back, but understandably he's very annoyed with Tim at the moment...
I should make the point that Tim's Dad is very very well off (he's the CEO of Marshall :o how someone so successful could make such a fuck up I'll never know) so it's not like he was financially bankrupting him or anything, but still... dick move.

Last week I got an email saying college was willing to give me another chance, so I'm going back in September. Which means we're going to have to move again to accommodate this (I did say to Tim he didn't have to come with me, but I think he's aware that he can't live by himself, and he hates this place just as much as me :lol: ). So the hunt for a house starts again! I have 3 months to find a place that doesn't suck ass, and will accept people on benefits living there.

It is stressful as fuck, man. Those places don't exist. Most private landlords' don't want undesirables in their house, and all agencies require anyone on housing benefit to have a guarantor signed onto the agreement, which I don't have. That, along with the fact that there is currently a huge shortage of properties where I live, means that this seems simply impossible *sigh*
 
My 94 yr old grandmother died on Sunday, we were very close and im essentially a younger version of her so I've been really cut up about it. I feel like I've lost a part of me.

I have to go to the outback for her funeral at the end of the week. 48 hrs being in close confines with my mum and aunt who could win awards for bossiness.
 
Started on homework for the first day of my math class I'll be missing. Ugh. It's all business shit.
 
I'm getting better from my virus but I still cough a lot from my throat itching/hurting. I cough enough to not sleep well and to make my lungs hurt. If this is what a respiratory system chronically feels like if one is a heavy smoker then I will never, ever smoke tobacky!
 
Been better. Been having migraines lately due to dehydration mixed with allergies methinks.
Calculus class ends next week on Thursday (Summer classes suck but at least theyre chill).
 
Today Tropical Storm Arthur literally formed overnight so there was tons of rain, all the tourists stayed indoors and they all came to my place to watch the World Cup games, so it was packed at work today. Thankfully my confidence was a lot better today and there was no head-losing going on, even though it started to get annoying around 4:00, but at that point its almost the end of the day so no need to bitch about it. I chose to skip the 5:00 ferry though, that bar was jam-ass packed and I knew within 5 minutes of me being gone, there'd be plastic all over the soda area, no cold beers, etc. so I stayed until around 5:30 prepping the bar. I'll bet it was still in need of someone there within 30 minutes of me being gone.

Anyway, its here, Regatta Time, Independence Week, Crab Season, whatever stupid alternate name I think of it as. The time when all the tourist girls are on the island but I don't ever flirt with them simply because I never learned how to. It'll probably be a quick 5 weeks, just like it was last year.
 
The stitches from my gum surgery have finally come out, it's 105 degrees here and I'm looking forward to my Alaska vacation next week. So yeah, things are swell.:biggrin:
 
So a USPS retard thinks he put my parcel in my neighbor's mailbox (after fucking up a redelivery of the same package because unlike other carriers, he was the one that was too stupid to know that he could leave packages with the apartment office if I'm not there to receive it). Which is a first, because this was a normal sized parcel that I'm used to getting and never needed to be there to receive the shit once. I'm chalking this up to more driver-related idiocy. So I called to complain and all I hear are excuses.

"Hurrrr the driver is really apologetic."

Eat a dick. Apologies don't put the money I spent on this package back in my pocket. The best they could do was "check with your neighbor lol."

Fucking tried that, he isn't home. So I left a note on his door because yay incompetent postal workers. Even though their gross stupidity caused this, it's up to me to do something.
 
BatNapalm said:
So a USPS exceptional individual thinks he put my parcel in my neighbor's mailbox (after fucking up a redelivery of the same package because unlike other carriers, he was the one that was too stupid to know that he could leave packages with the apartment office if I'm not there to receive it). Which is a first, because this was a normal sized parcel that I'm used to getting and never needed to be there to receive the shit once. I'm chalking this up to more driver-related idiocy. So I called to complain and all I hear are excuses.

"Hurrrr the driver is really apologetic."

Eat a dick. Apologies don't put the money I spent on this package back in my pocket. The best they could do was "check with your neighbor lol."

Fucking tried that, he isn't home. So I left a note on his door because yay incompetent postal workers. Even though their gross stupidity caused this, it's up to me to do something.
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I hate dealing with the post office. I once called and the rude ass guy on the other line told me to, "Try asking [my] question again without all the commentary." All I wanted to know was why the mailperson put a scan on a package that said there was an attempted delivery but my office was closed when I was literally there when they dropped our other mail off. Clearly they missed the parcel and didn't give a shit so I wanted to know if it was back at the post office so I could pick it up. Jerk.
 
I went on an overnight trip to Chicago with my dad. Yesterday I went on a trolley, went to the Navy Pier and today we went to the Museum of Science and Industry.

And yesterday for dinner I had curried duck (which sounds hilarious given the CWCism, lol). It was delicious.
 
I'm doing Ok. Skipped work today to go pickup an Akai Rack Sampler for $120. Pretty good deal all things consider, since it has the additional 8 Analogue / 2 digital output expansion card plus a decent amount of RAM. Also might be getting a Zip Drive soon to save my own samples vs. buying a metric fuckton of 3.5" floppies.
 
So I deal with depression and a bit of social anxiety, and because of it I've been hating my job (minimal wage+ at some restaurant). I skipped out on my second shifts Saturday and Monday, along with the aforementioned skip day on Tuesday. Went in this morning fearing me being fired when my manager was like "Yo it's cool. Just make sure to give us a heads up.". So I'm doing pretty great all things considered.
 
Icky girl stuff. You've been warned.
I think I might get my period when I go to a resort with my friend in a few days; the catch is that there's a water park, and I hate tampons. So today I tried practicing putting them in and it was hell. I was sitting there in tears for at least 20 minutes, sniveling over how it hurt whenever I tried to push one deeper. In the end I succeeded, but yeah. I'm pathetic. Hopefully I won't pass out next time. *sigh*
 
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