Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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I still can't sleep worth a shit.

Hung out with neighbors, got to know them better. So far they're pretty cool people. Some of them have been in institution too, so I don't feel so alone in that. I half assumed I'd be judged based on that.
 
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I've had negative thoughts again tonight. Ones that carry that feeling of hopelessness and make you want to kill yourself. I managed to neutralize them in less than 10 minutes, which is huge to me - normally I would spend hours brooding.

You know, long before joining Wizardchan I've been subconsciously conditioning myself to consider myself a failure, a loser, a freak and a social outcast. That's seriously all I've got when I think of "myself". With all that gone, I am nothing, I'm undefined. What I'm doing feels very wrong and against my nature. It's so weird.

Anyway, finally got myself a Tumblr blog where I can be Jaden Smith as much as I want. I like how customizable it is. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I made a small transparent hexagonal tile (24KB) and made it repeat itself over a black background. looks kinda neat if you ask me. I'll fiddle with it some more later. All that CSS, HTML5 and whatever other futuristic technologies Tumblr uses make me really confused.

Still unemployed, looking for an entry-level job, still lonely, which makes me go bonkers and prompts me to write about my life on the net. There's no point in whining, really.

I have a new big project: by early 2015, I will make a small bullet hell shmup in Unity. It's going to be very musical, synchronizing action to the music, and it will also be very intense to compensate for my lack of expertise in programming. It's going to have music like similar to one in DDP DFK Black Label and it will be AWESOME.
 
So I haven't been posting here much lately because my life has been hectic.

First of all, I just moved out of my parents' house today. I now live in a lovely little apartment in downtown Richmond with a really nice older girl. The place is tiny, but the rent is low, it's really close to campus, and the roomie is super chill and willing to pitch in/cover most basic household expenses.

Also I'm buying a new car. I'm trading in my flashy 80s sports car (off topic: once I remember to take pictures of the thing, I am totally starting a car thread) for a battered Mazda Protege. As much as I love said flashy 80s sports car, it's hellaciously expensive to own and rather impractical for city driving, especially now that I have to do my own shopping. The Protege was dirty as hell and covered in dents and scrapes (seriously, how did the previous owner ding up the roof this badly?), but it runs great and the gas mileage is way better.
 
Neighbor dude has not one girlfriend, but TWO. Also, he is a major flirt to the other girls of the apartment. So there goes the hopes of him at least dabbling in the man pond a bit.

I slept pretty well, but now have to ration off the food I have left until this weekend. I kind of want to call my aunt and see if I can eat lunch with her tomorrow, but eh.

Meeting more neighbors.

Edit: I'm pretty depressed. I feel out of sorts, to be honest, with everyone else. I wonder if I'm truthful about myself if the same people I'm talking to will hang out with me or not. My neighbor seems to want to set me up with a girl. Sorry, man, I'm only fluent in guys.
 
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Got my wisdom teeth taken out today, other than the pain, I feel high as a kite.

Next week I'm going down to Carlottesville area to help my lil sis move into UVA dorm.
 
I dropped my phone in the goddamned toilet. After peeing in it. Being a biologist and all, I wasn't that squicked out, a wipe-down with disinfectant and thorough attempt at drying and I'm okay with the surface of it, but it was acting really, really squirrely. It's sitting in a bag of industrial desiccant for the next day or so while I go back to my old, slow-as-fuck phone. First world problems, and all that.
 
I noticed Rusty whining this morning, and that he was rather hesitant about going down the stairs. (The dog loves going up and down them, even though he shouldn't. He sleeps with my mom, so he's used to it.) I thought it was kind of weird, but didn't let it bother me. Well, my mom just told me that he was doing it again. I think he may have hurt his back. We had to put down our former dachshund because her back legs gave out, so this has me pretty scared. He's walking well enough, but whined a little a few minutes ago while lying in his bed.
 
R.A.E.L. said:
I noticed Rusty whining this morning, and that he was rather hesitant about going down the stairs. (The dog loves going up and down them, even though he shouldn't. He sleeps with my mom, so he's used to it.) I thought it was kind of weird, but didn't let it bother me. Well, my mom just told me that he was doing it again. I think he may have hurt his back. We had to put down our former dachshund because her back legs gave out, so this has me pretty scared. He's walking well enough, but whined a little a few minutes ago while lying in his bed.
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I hope he is ok.
 
^Thanks, we do too. If he ends up needing surgery, my parents flat-out said that they won't do it. We already paid $7000 for when Gracie had back issues.

I just... Really don't want to lose him. He's a good boy, even though he bites. (:_(
 
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I'm so sorry, R.A.E.L. :( I hope the situation isn't as bad as it seems to be...

Neighbors know I like wang now. It doesn't get me a step closer to a boyfriend-free boy, but I don't mind. It's nice to know the people I like have nothing against me and will still hang out with me. It shouldn't be so difficult to express this sort of thing, but hopefully one day people will let go of their prejudices.
 
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R.A.E.L. said:
^Thanks, we do too. If he ends up needing surgery, my parents flat-out said that they won't do it. We already paid $7000 for when Gracie had back issues.

I just... Really don't want to lose him. He's a good boy, even though he bites. (:_(
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I hope everything will go okay.
 
Ugh. Weird day. It was going well, but then my 11-year-old went out for a bike ride with her friends and they brought home a stray pit bull terrier. I'm pretty upset with this because . . . well . . . pit bulls. In a house with small children. I told her that we'd keep the dog in the backyard overnight, but tomorrow it's going to a no-kill shelter.

I'm feeling like a bit of a monster here, because she went and named the damn thing even before she got it home. She's been begging for a dog for a while, but I've already put my foot down and said we need to wait until the younger kids (aged 3 and 2) are a bit older, and then it's going to be a with a breed that's known to be pretty docile. There were a lot of tears among the girls tonight. They all wanted to play with the dog and keep it, and I wouldn't let them.

The dog seems pretty sweet, so I'm probably over-reacting a bit . . . but it seems like I read about a mauling death involving a toddler and a pit bull once a week. It's not going to happen in this house.

And all I wanted to do this evening is drink a beer and go to bed. Shit.
 
Da Pickle Monsta said:
Ugh. Weird day. It was going well, but then my 11-year-old went out for a bike ride with her friends and they brought home a stray pit bull terrier. I'm pretty upset with this because . . . well . . . pit bulls. In a house with small children. I told her that we'd keep the dog in the backyard overnight, but tomorrow it's going to a no-kill shelter.

I'm feeling like a bit of a monster here, because she went and named the damn thing even before she got it home. She's been begging for a dog for a while, but I've already put my foot down and said we need to wait until the younger kids (aged 3 and 2) are a bit older, and then it's going to be a with a breed that's known to be pretty docile. There were a lot of tears among the girls tonight. They all wanted to play with the dog and keep it, and I wouldn't let them.

The dog seems pretty sweet, so I'm probably over-reacting a bit . . . but it seems like I read about a mauling death involving a toddler and a pit bull once a week. It's not going to happen in this house.

And all I wanted to do this evening is drink a beer and go to bed. Shit.
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Pit Bulls are by nature sweet dogs. Seriously those pit bull attacks you read about are often not pit bulls, people just say pit bull as a synonym for big mean dog. Some of the best dogs I have ever dealt with were pit bulls.
 
Thanks for the support guys. I'll try to keep you updated.

Rust is okay, for now. Hasn't whined since yesterday. We barricaded the stairs and won't be letting him go up them anymore. The plan is to give him steroids and make sure he rests.
 
Da Pickle Monsta said:
Ugh. Weird day. It was going well, but then my 11-year-old went out for a bike ride with her friends and they brought home a stray pit bull terrier. I'm pretty upset with this because . . . well . . . pit bulls. In a house with small children. I told her that we'd keep the dog in the backyard overnight, but tomorrow it's going to a no-kill shelter.

I'm feeling like a bit of a monster here, because she went and named the damn thing even before she got it home. She's been begging for a dog for a while, but I've already put my foot down and said we need to wait until the younger kids (aged 3 and 2) are a bit older, and then it's going to be a with a breed that's known to be pretty docile. There were a lot of tears among the girls tonight. They all wanted to play with the dog and keep it, and I wouldn't let them.

The dog seems pretty sweet, so I'm probably over-reacting a bit . . . but it seems like I read about a mauling death involving a toddler and a pit bull once a week. It's not going to happen in this house.

And all I wanted to do this evening is drink a beer and go to bed. Shit.
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My dad has a pit, and since he's been neutered, he's become really docile. Oh he'll bark at people sometimes and chase other dogs out of the yard, but he's really sweet and cute. And a total fatty now, since dad spoils the hell out of him.
 
I have to move in a few months, which I'm looking forward to about as much as I am humping a wall outlet.

On the plus side, I have some vacation time coming up, so there's that.

Surtur said:
Pit Bulls are by nature sweet dogs. Seriously those pit bull attacks you read about are often not pit bulls, people just say pit bull as a synonym for big mean dog. Some of the best dogs I have ever dealt with were pit bulls.
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This is actually very true, but I will give a caveat of sorts.

Pits were raised to be guard dogs, so they always have that protective instinct.

But the thing is, that doesn't preclude them from being great pets and friends, and being just as well-adjusted as any dog. The bigger issue with them is that the majority of idiotic fuckwits who get them (and then subsuquently are shocked, shocked I tells ya, when one does something violent) don't have the ability to properly take care of them, which includes socializing them with friends and family members, acclimating them to other animals, and in general making sure that the dog's well cared for and able to handle things. Anyone who's owned dogs for any length of time knows that you can nip most problems you'd otherwise have in the bud with one (hostility towards other animals, disliking other people) by exposing them often, especially whilst the dog's still young, and helping the dog better adjust.

But see, the overpowering majority of the Pit Bull owners you'll see on Judge shows in the US (for example) or hear about on the news don't do this critical step. They instead fall into the category of getting the dog for their reputation as guard animals, then staking them in the yard and going HURRR, I'M SUCH A GOOD DOG OWNER whilst not doing anything else for it.
 
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