💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

[女鬼]

Hayden Black is an internet pioneer in the same way that Sealand is a country.

To be fair, he started producing web-only content back when there weren't many people doing it, ca. 2005-2006.
His recipe back then was already to churn out shoodily-made and unfunny show at a quck rate on a limited budget- although his budgets seem to have been slightly better back in the day.
At first, with the novely factor, he was able to score a few partnerships with websites such as Babelgum and DailyMotion. It was minor succeess at best, and it was over once the novelty wore off and better productions came along.

But Hayden being Hayden, he thinks that minor success equals Internet stardom- see how he keeps touting himself.
And since he believes his earlier stuff was so successful, he's convinced all he has to do is to continue repeating he same shtick over and over. And even though it yields diminishing results, he's not the type to ever admit something's wrong with his ideas.

Oh Hayden... You were never cute.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

To be fair, he started producing web-only content back when there weren't many people doing it, ca. 2005-2006.
His recipe back then was already to churn out shoodily-made and unfunny show at a quck rate on a limited budget- although his budgets seem to have been slightly better back in the day.
At first, with the novely factor, he was able to score a few partnerships with websites such as Babelgum and DailyMotion. It was minor succeess at best, and it was over once the novelty wore off and better productions came along.

But Hayden being Hayden, he thinks that minor success equals Internet stardom- see how he keeps touting himself.
And since he believes his earlier stuff was so successful, he's convinced all he has to do is to continue repeating he same shtick over and over. And even though it yields diminishing results, he's not the type to ever admit something's wrong with his ideas.



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Oh Hayden... You were never cute.

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So he's the DSP of web shows?

 

[AnOminous]

So he's the DSP of web shows?

That seems like a pretty good summation. DSP's crowning success was coming in third on a tournament in a massively buggy game boycotted by most of the top players of that game, and he's ridden on it ever since.

DSP actually may have had more success.

 

[Girlfriend-free Boy]

Did someone actually ask Hayden if he had a stroke? And if so, how did he respond?

 

[JU 199]

'Worse than DSP'

That's devastating.

Did someone actually ask Hayden if he had a stroke? And if so, how did he respond?

Hayden said it's a hereditary trait from his dads side. That's bullshit it's the only reason why gen zed exists

Pew Pew

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Did someone actually ask Hayden if he had a stroke? And if so, how did he respond?

He said droopy face runs in his family.

I may be paraphrasing.

 

[AnOminous]

'Worse than DSP'

That's devastating.


Hayden said it's a hereditary trait from his dads side. That's bullshit it's the only reason why gen zed exists

Pew Pew

Didn't he just start chimping out about it at random during an interview where he wasn't even asked about it?

 

[JU 199]

Didn't he just start chimping out about it at random during an interview where he wasn't even asked about it?

Yes he did.

The dark responses to Gen Zed 55’ 23” (this is gold)

GETS SALTY ABOUT PEOPLE SAYING HE'S HAD A STROKE (apparently eye-droop runs in his dads side)

 

[Girlfriend-free Boy]

He said droopy face runs in his family.

I may be paraphrasing.

Out of all the traits that have survived natural selection, "looking like a half melted candle" is probably one of the worst.

 

[Sallet Lad Jim]

Out of all the traits that have survived natural selection, "looking like a half melted candle" is probably one of the worst.

Looking like a half-melted candle...

You know, maybe we should just find out if he truthfully is a half-melted candle - that oily mop on his head should serve as a half-decent wick.

 

[Count groudon]

See I'd believe it were a hereditary trait, if it weren't for the fact that he also has the mental capacity of a severe stroke victim.

 

[JU 199]

"looking like a half melted candle" is probably one of the worst.

It's not just his eyes, his whole damn face is fucked up.

Hayden's like a living 'bad anatomy' drawing

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

The stroke effected whatever part of the brain it is that controls comedy.

 

[sassyma seed]

The stroke effected whatever part of the brain it is that controls comedy.

So he done broke his funny bone?

 

[AnOminous]

See I'd believe it were a hereditary trait, if it weren't for the fact that he also has the mental capacity of a severe stroke victim.

Maybe he has the hereditary trait of being born a stroke victim.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

So he done broke his funny bone?

By the looks of the pic @Ass Manager 3000 posted, he's got nothing but funny bones.

 

[女鬼]

Maybe he has the hereditary trait of being born a stroke victim.

My bet's still on fœtal alcohol syndrome, which is known to cause facial deformities including cranio-facial asymmetry.

Either way, Hayden's infamous Cellmate27 Myspace account has some older pics. He looks deformed no matter what his age is.

 

[creamyfanta]

Oh god....I think I just threw up a little in the back of my throat.

[MEDIA=twitter]694645418907414529[/MEDIA]

Who is austin?

 

[女鬼]

Who is austin?

The guy they're replying to.


I found another shining example of Hayden's honest and successful business practices:

And for the record? He never released anything after the pilot. Nichts. Nada. Zilch.

Reminds you of anything?

 

[Orthodox Chrischanity]

Three days after the con and no gushing tweets about turnout?

None of us were there, Hayden. By all means, regale us with your tales of a packed house of fans in rapture of every utterance you made about your shows both past and future...