💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

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I've developed a system to replicate Hayden Black's comedy process

1) Select a topical news subject (The more unfortunate the better) OR a american conservative issue/figurehead OR typical american daily routine
2) Choose gross bodily/sexual function OR auto-correct pun
3) Add some snark OR a pedophile reference OR make a mistake in the jokes internal logic (so it makes no sense)
4) Lastly, insert "pew pew" at the the end.

For example-

"Those Syrian refugees sure fondle the cock when they cross my border. Just like Jared Fogle did with those kids!

Pew pew!"

OR

"I was making coffee and suddenly a republican fondled my cock. Silly GOP

Pew Pew!"

edit: for extra realism, use a artificial tweet generator.

TWEET FAKE The Fake Tweet Generator.png


Exactly like the real thing!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hayden's comedy process isn't really too far off from Chris's. May as well call it political random access humor. :story:
 
Romance Larghetto Ally said:
Is there any way to put in Gen Zed, Goodnight Burbank, and Cabonauts as favorites/retweeters?
Click to expand...

You can't do that unfortunately.

Ass Manager 3000 said:
1) Select a topical news subject (The more unfortunate the better) OR a american conservative issue/figurehead OR typical american daily routine
2) Choose gross bodily/sexual function OR auto-correct pun
3) Add some snark OR a pedophile reference OR make a mistake in the jokes internal logic (so it makes no sense)
4) Lastly, insert "pew pew" at the the end.
Click to expand...

"French bombings are bad news and makes my diarrhea look like a cakewalk. If only terrorists had too much Starbucks, then the only bombs they could set of would be in the bathroom!

pew pew!"
 
Wezofthenow said:
Don't forget the obligatory mention of Instagram, Twitter and other hipster bullshit
Click to expand...

That's a good point

Hayden Black's comedy process (HBCP) V1.1

1) Select a topical news subject (The more unfortunate the better) OR a american conservative issue/figurehead OR typical american daily routine
2) Choose gross bodily/sexual function OR auto-correct pun
3) Add some snark OR a pedophile reference OR make a mistake in the jokes internal logic (so it makes no sense)
4) Sprinkle some hipster bullshit (Instagram, twitter, Starbucks etc)
5) Lastly, insert "pew pew" at the the end (MORE APPROPRIATE IF IT'S A SHONA RETWEET)

So

haydenblack HBCP.png


Btw anyone is free to contribute criteria. The HBCP is in open source development!
 
Ass Manager 3000 said:
That's a good point

Hayden Black's comedy process (HBCP) V1.1

1) Select a topical news subject (The more unfortunate the better) OR a american conservative issue/figurehead OR typical american daily routine
2) Choose gross bodily/sexual function OR auto-correct pun
3) Add some snark OR a pedophile reference OR make a mistake in the jokes internal logic (so it makes no sense)
4) Sprinkle some hipster bullshit (Instagram, twitter, Starbucks etc)
5) Lastly, insert "pew pew" at the the end (MORE APPROPRIATE IF IT'S A SHONA RETWEET)

So

View attachment 59195

Btw anyone is free to contribute criteria. The HBCP is in open source development!
Click to expand...

Hayden Black's comedy process (HBCP) V1.2

1) Namedrop GOP politician/presidential candidate/conservative icon
2) Make sure the topic is several years old/no longer relevant
3) Steal someone else's joke
4) Add "pew pew" at the end so the joke is now yours

tedhaggard.PNG


You know it's not a TRUE & HONEST Shona tweet because it's actually funny.

also source:
 
You guys are all forgetting the most important step.

After adding Pew Pew, make sure to repeat the joke across all of your accounts, and have all of them retweet each other. Then do it again!

Interesting side fact: The Goodnite Burbank Twitter is only really used to retweet stuff, but the Goodnight Burbank Facebook on the other hand... https://www.facebook.com/GoodnightBurbank/?fref=nf

image.jpeg

As you can see at the bottom, that's from November 17th folks.
The only difference is they add THIS JUST IN as though it were actual news, and Black seems to get more comments and likes here. Only about 4 or so likes per post it seems.
image.jpeg

There's also this Albert E Short who keeps commenting with hilarious responses.
image.jpeg

Why does Black attract people like this?
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Um, okay? A show existed about fat women lingerie pool parties? Relevant, I suppose.
image.jpeg

Ha get it? Cause it's a rabbit named Thumper! Ah, great joke there guy. Next he'll be like, "Bible, more like Trible!" And put up a picture of 3 Bibles.
 
Needs more auto-correct jokes.
Example: I typed out "Gen Zed will be a hit" but my darn auto-correct changed it to "Gen Zed will be shit".
 
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