have you committed any crimes recently? - confess here!

[cwcville]

 

[Solid Snek]

 

[Ophelia Jones]

I had pineapple on pizza and I feel immense shame.

 

[SneedEyeMitch]

I downloaded a car.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

I went outside without being vaccinated.

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

I post on the Kiwi Farms

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

I participate in the

• systemic destruction of the environment,
• systemic oppression of BAME folx
• systemic exploitation of Africa and its resources
• systemic cisheteronormative oppression and erasure of LGBTQQIIAP+++ folx

every single day.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I got some eggnog before December.

 

[Consider Lizärds]

I came too hard

 

[Knight of the Rope]

Back in late 2019 I was interning at a Biochemical Lab in some backwater Chinese hick town called Wuhan. Now I know I shouldn't have, but I wanted to brag to my friends about all of the cool shit they were showing me so I might have accidentally snuck out a vial of one of the novel new viruses they were designing. And I swear it was in my back pocket when I went for my bat-meat sandwich lunch break at the wet market, but by the time I got back it was nowhere to be found.

...Whew! Feels good to finally get that one off my chest. You guys have no idea how long I've been keeping mum about that doozie.

 

[MissDrama]

Yes, I pricked a tire of an annoying neighbor 2 days ago

 

[WhoIsSutterKane]

I stole my exes weed because that dumb bitch leaves it in the screened in porch of her first floor apartment that she shares with her mother.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I killed a hitchhiker.

Before you judge me, ask yourself: Do you know a better way to achieve an erection?

 

[Idiotron]

Nope, not 1 crime...

 

[Just A Butt]

i performed sodomy in Mississippi

 

[TheJelqster]

I dropped nukes in my toilet this morning

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

i performed sodomy in Mississippi

You mean you were sodomized in mississippi, how can you sodomize anything: you're justabutt

 

[Just A Butt]

life finds a way

 

[I'm Retarded?]

nice try, federale, but you'll never catch me with my dick out

 

[MemoriesOfMemphis]

go comit di