HATERS TO THE LEFT

[Holdek]

Chris doesn't care about having a productive life. Or, well, I guess you could interpret that very liberally and it'd apply to Chris. Like, Chris could be happy if he had his galpal (one who paid the bills because Chris is such a feminist) and he'd spend his days playing video games, maybe drawing more Sonichu and just generally being a lazy fatass. It's kinda productive because of Sonichu, but that's kinda iffy.

His problem isn't that he doesn't care about having a productive life, it's that he should. He thinks that a magic sweetheart who solves all problems is the ideal solution to pursue. If he somehow acquired such a girlfriend, he'd still be unfulfilled and have no idea why, and he'd invent new things to bitch about and remain unhappy.

I don't know if that's exactly the case. Chris is very simple minded and can be easily sated. And not to some trivial level, but he doesn't have the deep yearning for meaning in his life that other people do. Or, at least as far as something like a life's work or an important profession go. Really, he's just very lonely right now and that's why he wants a girlfriend. Barb doesn't listen to his video game sperging and she doesn't have sex with him (hopefully) and she doesn't baby him that much anymore. He feels like he's all alone (well, he is).

I don't think he really invents problems that aren't actually there in some way.

Although paranoia about trolls might be with him forever, even if he magically got a girlfriend.

Well, and it's just in his nature to complain, and he'll be doing that forever about anyone who's the tiniest bit mean to him. I guess I'm just saying that these complaints won't reach the depth of importance in his life that not having a girlfriend does.

I always thought that Chris' main goals in life, in order of importance, were:

1. Father a daughter and name her Crystal

2. Make a sweetheart from the ground up

3. Make Sonichu into a video game franchise

Now, Chris knows enough about biology ([cwc=recycling]barely[/cwc]) to understand that number 2 has to be achieved before number 1 is possible. But I wonder if these are still the things that give meaning to his life.

(BTW I put Crystal above sweetheart because I think he's been having prophetic dreams about Crystal since even before the Love Quest (not sure on the chronology of that though) and perhaps sees a sweetheart, and even sexual intercourse, as a means to this end).

 

[Marvin]

I always thought that Chris' main goals in life, in order of importance, were:

1. Father a daughter and name her Crystal

2. Make a sweetheart from the ground up

3. Make Sonichu into a video game franchise

Now, Chris knows enough about biology to understand that number 2 has to be achieved before number 1 is possible. But I wonder if these are still the things that give meaning to his life.

(BTW I put Crystal above sweetheart because I think he's been having prophetic dreams about Crystal since even before the Love Quest (not sure on the chronology of that though) and perhaps sees a sweetheart, and even sexual intercourse, as a means to this end).

Oh yeah, y'know, I don't know if he cares much about Crystal and Sonichu anymore. I mean, they're probably still in the back of his mind, but I haven't heard him mention Crystal in a long time and while he did mention Sonichu in a recent post, I guess something (or someone) just reminded him of it. He's currently trying to get his sweetheart from the ground up and solving the problem of his crushing loneliness. Maybe if he did solve that problem, he'd start caring about his god-given daughter, Crystal and Sonichu.

Edit: huh, I guess Chris didn't say "god-given daughter." He used the phrase "god-given" a lot and I could've sworn he said "god-given daughter" once, but I guess I was wrong. Liquid used it once.

 

[WWWWolf]

Wait a minute, these pictures were uploaded on 4/20. I think Chris might've finally tried wacky tobacky.

It was also Hitler's birthday! [/totally obvious and completely inconsequential observation that sent me to a 4-hour random Wikipedia adventure]

I always thought that Chris' main goals in life, in order of importance, were:

1. Father a daughter and name her Crystal

2. Make a sweetheart from the ground up

3. Make Sonichu into a video game franchise

Yeah, though you need to remember that Chris probably didn't think a) how or b) which order any of that would be accomplished. He wants a Sonichu video game to exist. He just assumes some video game company would make it and then give him all the money. (Contrast this to, say, Ulillillia who thinks "this mind game thing of mine would make an awesome video game", gets down to learning programming and is actually thinking of how to get the game out to the market when it's done.)

 

[Holdek]

Re: HATERS TO THE RIGHT

Facebook is the worst thing to ever happen to Chris.

Nah. That would be the Greene County Commission, Michael Snyder, and Mary Lee Walsh, having their first meeting together in Havana. ]P ]P ]P

Wait Chris has to go back and check up with the court? I guess that makes sense just something I never thought about. He did all his community service and the psych evaluation, right?

Chris's next date is in mid-June, where, if the judge finds he has satisfied the requirements of his sentence, 28 October 2011 will be reduced to a misdemeanor.

Please, oh please, let it be the same judge as last time.

Supposedly some behind the scenes machinations has resulted in her being replaced by someone named Judge Sandra Day O'Cash.

It's sad that Chris doesn't realize that he only has a few months to get it together and act like a grown up, because if he doesn't, he is screwed, in more ways than one. But, this is Chris we are talking about, and only a huge miracle could cause Chris to turn himself around at this point, but since that's not gonna happen, he is screwed.

Nah, on the day they need to go see the judge, Barb and Chris will show up and do a good enough job to pass through the court date unscathed. He doesn't need to turn himself around or anything crazy like that.

Well, it was kind of a close call last time. I expected a very drama-free hearing and was surprised at Chris' outburst.

Actually, TM, I genuinely believe he never wants to go back to the C-Ville Hobbies and Games store. Remember, October 28 only happened because Chris thought there was a new owner who wasn't a dang, dirty JEW (and because he had Mommy with him).

Well, he thought that would result in him being allowed to return, but even if he knew Snyder was still the owner and Snyder had lifted his ban, it would be the happiest day in Chris' life.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I always thought that Chris' main goals in life, in order of importance, were:

1. Father a daughter and name her Crystal

2. Make a sweetheart from the ground up

3. Make Sonichu into a video game franchise

Now, Chris knows enough about biology to understand that number 2 has to be achieved before number 1 is possible. But I wonder if these are still the things that give meaning to his life.

(BTW I put Crystal above sweetheart because I think he's been having prophetic dreams about Crystal since even before the Love Quest (not sure on the chronology of that though) and perhaps sees a sweetheart, and even sexual intercourse, as a means to this end).

Oh yeah, y'know, I don't know if he cares much about Crystal and Sonichu anymore. I mean, they're probably still in the back of his mind, but I haven't heard him mention Crystal in a long time and while he did mention Sonichu in a recent post, I guess something (or someone) just reminded him of it. He's currently trying to get his sweetheart from the ground up and solving the problem of his crushing loneliness. Maybe if he did solve that problem, he'd start caring about his god-given daughter, Crystal and Sonichu.

Edit: huh, I guess Chris didn't say "god-given daughter." He used the phrase "god-given" a lot and I could've sworn he said "god-given daughter" once, but I guess I was wrong. Liquid used it once.

This is probably just me, but I always thought of Chris's "daughter" prophecy as more a cute story he could tell to show how he deserved a heartsweet, and that the world was obligated to provide his ideal life because "God" demanded it. I never really got the impression Chris actually ever recieved a vision. I always considered it one of his more transparent lies.

 

[Watcher]

This is probably just me, but I always thought of Chris's "daughter" prophecy as more a cute story he could tell to show how he deserved a heartsweet, and that the world was obligated to provide his ideal life because "God" demanded it. I never really got the impression Chris actually ever recieved a vision. I always considered it one of his more transparent lies.

I don't think Chris thinks of Crystal maliciously. I mean he probably had a thought about having a daughter or he dreamed of having a sweetheart and mixed the two together, and internalized it as a nice feeling that meant God must've given it. But I don't think Chris's smart enough to plan that sort of thing out

 

[Holdek]

Re: HATERS TO THE RIGHT

Wat.

I can't remember where, but awhile back Chris said that the C-Ville Hobby Store didn't deserve to have "C-Ville" in it. He seems to think it's something sacred. Maybe it's too close to CWCVille for his taste.

I assumed it was because he thought the store was a stain on the honor of the city of Charlottesville. But knowing how solipsistic Chris is, it probably is more likely that Chris thinks its closeness to the name of the imaginary city he created is a legitimate grievance.

 

[Marvin]

This is probably just me, but I always thought of Chris's "daughter" prophecy as more a cute story he could tell to show how he deserved a heartsweet, and that the world was obligated to provide his ideal life because "God" demanded it. I never really got the impression Chris actually ever recieved a vision. I always considered it one of his more transparent lies.

I don't think Chris thinks of Crystal maliciously. I mean he probably had a thought about having a daughter or he dreamed of having a sweetheart and mixed the two together, and internalized it as a nice feeling that meant God must've given it. But I don't think Chris's smart enough to plan that sort of thing out

This is what I think about a lot of Chris' fantasies. Although Chris has dreams sometimes about godbear or relatives or things like that and he frequently will take them as genuine prophesies or promises. That's really caused him some problems when the promises weren't fulfilled.

 

[spaps]

Re: HATERS TO THE RIGHT

Supposedly some behind the scenes machinations has resulted in her being replaced by someone named Judge Sandra Day O'Cash.

Shit was so O'Cash.

 

[Holdek]

I always thought that Chris' main goals in life, in order of importance, were:

1. Father a daughter and name her Crystal

2. Make a sweetheart from the ground up

3. Make Sonichu into a video game franchise

Now, Chris knows enough about biology to understand that number 2 has to be achieved before number 1 is possible. But I wonder if these are still the things that give meaning to his life.

(BTW I put Crystal above sweetheart because I think he's been having prophetic dreams about Crystal since even before the Love Quest (not sure on the chronology of that though) and perhaps sees a sweetheart, and even sexual intercourse, as a means to this end).

Oh yeah, y'know, I don't know if he cares much about Crystal and Sonichu anymore. I mean, they're probably still in the back of his mind, but I haven't heard him mention Crystal in a long time and while he did mention Sonichu in a recent post, I guess something (or someone) just reminded him of it. He's currently trying to get his sweetheart from the ground up and solving the problem of his crushing loneliness. Maybe if he did solve that problem, he'd start caring about his god-given daughter, Crystal and Sonichu.

Edit: huh, I guess Chris didn't say "god-given daughter." He used the phrase "god-given" a lot and I could've sworn he said "god-given daughter" once, but I guess I was wrong. Liquid used it once.

I too remember him saying something like that, or at least that God has promised him a daughter.

This is probably just me, but I always thought of Chris's "daughter" prophecy as more a cute story he could tell to show how he deserved a heartsweet, and that the world was obligated to provide his ideal life because "God" demanded it. I never really got the impression Chris actually ever recieved a vision. I always considered it one of his more transparent lies.

Hmm maybe so, but it seems repeated so often throughout Christory that I put it up there with the Bear in terms of its importance in Chris-Chianity.

 

[Marvin]

Edit: huh, I guess Chris didn't say "god-given daughter." He used the phrase "god-given" a lot and I could've sworn he said "god-given daughter" once, but I guess I was wrong. Liquid used it once.

I too remember him saying something like that, or at least that God has promised him a daughter.

Oh yeah, I just meant the specific phrase, "god-given daughter." Chris used god-given a lot, but I guess he used that to mean something he already was given, instead of just merely being promised it.

 

[Deviljho]

What if the "I'm a free bitch" sign was referring to the fact Barb may have broke her probation and got in legal trouble?

 

[Watcher]

This is what I think about a lot of Chris' fantasies. Although Chris has dreams sometimes about godbear or relatives or things like that and he frequently will take them as genuine prophesies or promises. That's really caused him some problems when the promises weren't fulfilled.

It's also coming from how most people generally don't remember their childhoods all that well unless they were particularly traumatic.

Like I can't name my elementary school teachers, I'm not alone in this regard either.

 

[calicojack]

What if the "I'm a free bitch" sign was referring to the fact Barb may have broke her probation and got in legal trouble?

Perhaps, but it could be the opposite. Both Chris and Barb might have finally finished their sentence.

 

[Marvin]

This is what I think about a lot of Chris' fantasies. Although Chris has dreams sometimes about godbear or relatives or things like that and he frequently will take them as genuine prophesies or promises. That's really caused him some problems when the promises weren't fulfilled.

It's also coming from how most people generally don't remember their childhoods all that well unless they were particularly traumatic.

Like I can't name my elementary school teachers, I'm not alone in this regard either.

I can't remember my elementary school teachers either. But what are you referring to? Because the prophecies I'm talking about were from when he was older.

 

[Lil]

Jesus, I leave for the weekend and suddenly new Chris content. I'd say my day's gotten better all of a sudden but knowing Chris the laughs aren't going to last for long. Brb, reading through all this.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Jesus, I leave for the weekend and suddenly new Chris content. I'd say my day's gotten better all of a sudden but knowing Chris the laughs aren't going to last for long. Brb, reading through all this.

Long story short, Chris is gay and we're very proud of him.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I've been looking through the new photos again, and damn, Chris has some tiny fucking arms in proportion to the rest of his body. He really has no muscle mass at all.

Chris, shine on, you crazy, retarded cross-dressing tyrannosaurus of a man.

 

[calicojack]

I've been looking through the new photos again, and damn, Chris has some tiny fucking arms in proportion to the rest of his body. He really has no muscle mass at all.

Chris, shine on, you crazy, retarded cross-dressing tyrannosaurus of a man.

I would have to say it just adds to his now more feminine look.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I've been looking through the new photos again, and damn, Chris has some tiny fucking arms in proportion to the rest of his body. He really has no muscle mass at all.

Chris, shine on, you crazy, retarded cross-dressing tyrannosaurus of a man.

I would have to say it just adds to his now more feminine look.

Not with those skinny-on-the-bottom flabby-on-the-top hairy-ass pickle beaters.