Gunt Wiki - If CWC has a wiki, why not make one for Chris's successor?

[Pale Empress]

I still think it should be named the EORwiki to follow tradition.
The most important thing would be to have an accurate timeline though, that will take a lot of effort but it would be great to have.
I started writing one around the start of the Faith saga but abandoned the idea after a while, I'll see if I can find it and post it.

I'm actually in the process of working on a new timeline and have just reached the beginning of the Faith saga, so it'd be nice to see what you have, just to compare notes.

I'm making sure to source everything with links, so it's taking a bit longer than it would if I were just listing events out. Once I hit December 2020 it's going to be a bit quicker since we have designated threads for most events and I won't have to sift through 3000 pages of mostly concentrated autism.

As an aside, the old main thread has a ton of archived stuff of note, it's absolutely worth poring over. Although there's a sizable chunk missing too, particularly for 2018 when people didn't consider him interesting/deserving enough to follow or document. That period is largely negligible, since the feuds/arcs that occurred then have very little bearing or impact on where Ralph is today.

 

[MugolEx]

Things like this should be featured instead of mass shootings.

Edit: If the Ralphapedia is successful, do you think it could be expanded into a lolcowpedia that KF can integrate it's self into? It would be a really great way to get a sense of the timeline of a lolcow with out having to through pages of unfunny jokes.

 

[NynchLiggers]

The wiki should have a "Ralph and..." subcategory similar to the one in CWCki.

 

[maize]

Spoiler: old message

Site will be going down at the bottom of the hour(1900 GMT) and will be down hopefully for an hour or two at max. We'll be coming back on a new server that has better everything. It will be noticeably faster and more reliable.

If you're editing something right now I'd suggest saving it on the Wiki and also in Notepad or whatever you use, just in case, and waiting for the site to come back.

​

​

edit: looks like upgrade went well, site was down about an hour

​

 

[maize]

I agree with Ralphapedia. If this is gonna be the best wiki in the sektur, from the top on down, you gotta name it after the Ralphamale.

This seems like the emerging consensus and I'm glad since I like it too.

The wiki should have a "Ralph and..." subcategory similar to the one in CWCki.

On it already , just one there right now which is "women" which I'm working on myself for now.

Edit: If the Ralphapedia is successful, do you think it could be expanded into a lolcowpedia that KF can integrate it's self into? It would be a really great way to get a sense of the timeline of a lolcow with out having to through pages of unfunny jokes.

I probably wouldn't be interested in that, too much drama, but admin is staying anonymous for a reason and might not care so much if we got some other jannies on board.

Speaking of, we want to add some more jannies/admins so as to cover different times in case people try to fuck with the Wiki and to do general necessary stuff for the upkeep of the wiki. I also don't want to come off like this is my vanity project (I just happen to like the idea and know the guy who's running the server) so having additional input from people on staff would be good.

Volunteers or nominees?

Also I heard there was a rumor we were getting DDOS'd. Both notes from admin say we weren't and it was a hardware issue hence the new server. People gossip too much.

 

[RX-78]

It has to be difficult for spergs to pronounce like the CWCki so I say call it the Killstriki or the KSwiki (kuh-swiki).

Ralph swears like a half retarded sailor with tourettes, so KSwiki has my vote.

 

[maize]

 

[maize]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[maize]

Vote on the Wiki's new name here (you need an account.) If any are missing let me sooner than later.

Voting will be open for 48 hours.

Any suggestions regarding the Jannie Question are welcome.

 

[A Sunset]

This is some good shit, swung by just now and enjoying the kino. Been waiting a long time for a proper wiki for Ralph. Thanks to everyone contributing

 

[Steely Dan]

Vote for the OFFICIAL and TRUE & HONEST name for the wiki here:
https://ethanralph.wiki/wiki/Main_Page#Vote_on_the_New_Name

 

[maize]

- I got him to install the package for PortableInfobox: test page is here showing what it can do and the template that generated it. I'm still getting a feel for how to work with it but there are a lot of places we can use this (say, "Girlfriends", "Feuds", "Killstream Episodes" with the appropriate set of data items beneath). It's something that can be done on an ongoing basis as well. I will work up some stylesheets to get them looking good, for now they are ugly.

Spoiler: it looks like this

- Once we have a name I figured we'd have a contest for art/logo too

- If I don't hear any volunteers/suggestions I am going to pick some people to be admins/jannies (not force them but lets say encourage lol) I am open to working with various people except with all due politeness I really don't want it to be anyone controversial or who is into active trolling off-board or stuff of that nature, it wouldn't be a good look especially starting out.

 

[Least Concern]

Edit: If the Ralphapedia is successful, do you think it could be expanded into a lolcowpedia that KF can integrate it's self into? It would be a really great way to get a sense of the timeline of a lolcow with out having to through pages of unfunny jokes.

That's basically what the Encyclopedia Dramatica is already.

 

[MugolEx]

That's basically what the Encyclopedia Dramatica is already.

Yeah but ED is dead and gay half the time and will probably be dead again soon enough. I only just remembered that the .online domain was a thing.

 

[maize]

We've got the "countdown" thing working now, it turns out it's called "age" which makes sense as it's how Wikipedia keeps the ages of people up to date on their pages.

See front page:

Since it's there I'll try to write about Lauren and that incident today, it fits into I'm working on the "Ethan Ralph and women" article.

"Ralphapedia" is winning in the name vote by a large margin. A little more than 24 hours left.

I said earlier maybe we would have a contest for the name. I was also thinking we could just change it up on a regular basis. A lot of people are good at making memes and stuff like that here so it might be fun to rotate. Since "Ralphapedia" is looking likely I made a little doodle:

I'm not sure if I like the gunt in the background or not though.

Current announcements:

Dead silence on the jannie volunteer front. I'm gonna start asking people.

 

[Insanely Retarded]

I'm actually in the process of working on a new timeline and have just reached the beginning of the Faith saga, so it'd be nice to see what you have, just to compare notes.

Thanks for reminding me, I found some of it, here's the "early years" up to GG timeline, a lot of the links I had are missing and I have to find them again, I'm sure I'm missing quite a few things (like Ralph's fight with BTP but I barely remember anything about it) and there might be a few things wrong, I'd like to have dates for more of the events though. I'll find the rest and post again when I have it.

Spoiler: Ralph Early Years Timeline

Ralph's early years:

• Born Sept 1985 to Ronald & Sandra Ralph. Has one brother, Evan, afflicted by cerebral palsy
• Ronald was schizophrenic and an alcoholic. He abandoned the family early on
• Ethan was obese from an early age.
• Mother enabled all of his worst behaviors out of guilt which led to Ethan getting fatter and fatter until he was morbidly obese by his teenage years
• Was bullied constantly in school.
• Drops out of high school and does not finish (claims to have gotten GED)
• If you believe Ralph, he went to the University of South Carolina 2007-2011 (according to LinkedIn) but dropped out "right before graduating". Yeah, right.
• Ralph often gloats and says he is proud that he has not payed back any of his student loans
• Ralph lives at home with his mother, a theme that will continue for all of his adult life

Pre-GamerGate:

• Ralph never even considers getting a job after university, his goal seems to always have been to find a way to make money online, no matter what
• Ralph attempts to write for the Daily KOs but it goes nowhere. He writes about things he cares about, like feminism (1, 2, 3):

"the feminist movement has given us some great things. Women's suffrage, the (continuing) fight for equity in pay compared to men, the right to choose, protection against sexual harassment, and the list goes on an on."

• Arrested in 2008 (public disorderly conduct, assault and battery 3rd degree). Not much info about this arrest
• Joins Twitter Feb 2010 and quickly becomes obsessed with tweeting and the dopamine rush he gets when others validate his opinion
• Ralph spends his time tweeting about his support for the Democrats, love for Obama and hate for anything right wing, including tweets calling for for firing "bigots" & "homophobes" as well as attacks on Trump and conservatives in general (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• Ralph creates a vanity blog called TheRalphRetort (Feb 2012) and posts under the name "TheRalph"
• Ralph claims to be an "activist" for drug reform (pro legalization of all drugs) and calls for "rethinking of our approach towards all substances and the way we treat the people who use them." (MISSING ARCHIVE OF EARLY TRR ARTICLE)
• Creates alternate Twitter account "jceasar187" (Sep 2012) to re-tweet his main account, reply to himself to look more successful, hit on blacks and ask them to smoke pot with him
• Also creates Gmail and PornHub accounts under the name "jcaesar187". The PornHub account is used to comment and 'like' videos, most notably of the "Blacked" kind
• Even though it's a vanity blog and no one reads it, Ralph creates a Patreon for his blog at some point during 2014, Claims it is a 'comedy' blog.

GAMERGATE

• Ralph realizes that he can use GamerGate to make money, even though he did not give a shit about videogames. He inserts himself into GG
• Ralph comes up with an idea to use his blog to cash in on GG. Thinking that if he places as many ads as he can on it and attacks people on both sides of GG, he'll get a lot of traffic. Most common targets include Leigh Alexander, Zoe Quinn, Randi Harper, Brianna Wu and other "anti" targets.
• Ralph recruits 'writers' for his blog. These were just pro GG people who agreed with Ralph writing blog posts related to GG. Ralph starts calling himself "Editor in chief of the Ralph Retort"
• Ralph becomes Milo's lapdog: Ralph tries to attach himself to the biggest name he can find in order to gain relevancy (a technique he still uses to this day). The first one seems to have been Milo Yiannoppolous (who, at the time was working at Breitbart and was the only MSM journalist that gave any attention to GG when it started), Ralph would go on to refer to him as "Master Milo" once that Milo acknowledged him (and used him for his own ends)
• Ralph starts streaming Google Hangout calls with a few other nobodies no one remembers, one of these is a teenager from the UK called Nora. Eventually Nora comes up with the name "Killstream" for the show. No one watches it but still Ralph streamed it religiously while drunk to yell about people who made him mad
• Ralph whines endlessly about doxing and the SJW 'tactics' used in GG, however he uses his blog and his writers to dox people and apply the exact same tactics to those he doesn't like
• Ralph adds "Seattle4Truth" to the 'writing staff' of his blog. The young man is clearly deranged, Ralph doesn't see it or doesn't want to see it because he thinks it will generate ad-revenue
• After it becomes painfully obvious to anyone on Twitter that Ralph doesn't understand humor and is extremely thin-skinned, the "raped and killed a woman behind an Arby's" joke is used against him. Ralph takes it as a serious attack and blocks anyone that mentions it. He whines about the joke damaging his reputation. This leads to more and more people realizing that trolling him works because he always reacts
• Another sore point for Ralph, and one used to tease him often, is his height. Ralph is a miniature manlet, but he is unable to accept this fact so he lies about it constantly. Even contradicting himself in the space of a few days. He has claimed to be anywhere from 5"7' to 5"11'. The reality is that his arrest record shows he is 5"1'
• Ralph decides that spamming his blog on 8chan /v/ is a good plan to get ad money, soon after the /v/ BO decides to filters Ralph blog. Forcing anyone who posts a link to it to use an archive link instead. This kills traffic to TRR and brings down revenue. Ralph goes crazy, writes articles attacking the BO, claims that 8chan /v/ was no longer part of GG spergs about it. As usual, this only makes things worse
• Ralph starts a crusade against 8chan in general after Frederik Brennan (owner at the time) does not help when he whines about links to his blog being filtered on /v/, he tries to start a war that will end up with Ralph being catfished and doxed
• Ralph attempts to use /baph/ against his enemies, this fails spectacularly
• At some point between 2014-2015 Ralph starts taunting /baph/ saying they are 'shit' and a 'fucking joke', giving them more of a reason to fuck with Ralph, this would become a recurring theme in Ralph's life where he attacks boards/sites that make fun of him and it always ends up biting him in the ass
• Ralph is catfished into sending a picture of his micro penis - he denies it's him (but with the release of his sex tape, we can confirm that the (West) Memphis micro was real)
• Ralph breaks up with his girlfriend, or rather she leaves him after seeing his dick all over Twitter
• Ralph doxes KoP/Bryan Dunn - After many back and forth fights between the two, Ralph finally publishes info on KoP and his family. Eventually the article is deleted when they reach some sort of 'truce'
• Ralph is doxed by /baph/ - Feb 22nd 2015 - Ralph's war reached its obvious conclusion. Ralph is doxed, the dox included his SSN, credit card information and info about his entire family. Ralph doesn't learn his lesson and continues his 'attacks'
• Ralph loses his AdSense - After being reported for the millionth time, Google finally decides to remove Ralph's AdSense. Because he wasn't able to make any more money off his blog, he decides it's fair to starts calling for deplatforming and de-monetization of people he doesn't like
• Seattle4Truth murders his father over a political discuassion. He is obviously unstable and most people were able to see it.
• Ralph has been grooming his Killstream co-host Nora. Nora was a teenager when they started talking
• When attacking "GamerGhazi" (anti-GG) one of Ralph's biggest enemies became Brianna Wu/John Walker Flynn
• Ralph goes to one of Wu's lectures/presentations. Wu immediately recognizes Ralph and has him thrown out. This produced a hilarious video that proved that Ralph is not only obese but a manlet as well. Video
• Ralph flies to England to meet Milo and Sargon (Jan 5 2016). They have dinner but Ralph leaves to spend the night with Nora. Carl and Milo go on to have a homoerotic night and get drunk together on stream, what happens after the stream ended is anyone's guess
• Ralph creates an account on Kiwi Farms (Jan 20 2016) to post on his own thread. He initially manages to convince a few users that he is not the sperg they thought he was, but this would not work for very long. Ralph becomes obsessed with his thread and correcting the record fairly quickly
• Ralph starts his war against Reddit's Kotaku In Action. He is unhappy that excerpts from his content are posted to the sub reddit. He threatens to DMCA and take legal action against people posting his content on Reddit/KiA. This leads to Ralph asking for people to send him 'dirt' on the KiA mods. One of his preferred tactics for dealing with 'problems' (LINK TO TWEET ARCHIVE asking for dirt on KIA mods MISSING)
• (09-18-205) An intoxicated Ralph has a tantrum live on stream where he accuses LeoPirate of 'stealing' his 'scoop' (some irrelevant information that he originally stole from someone else). This ends with Ralph screaming at Leo to "go suck IA's dick" (ironically, something Ralph would go on to do almost daily during the following 2-3 years)

JAIL:
Aug. 27, 2016 - 6:45 a.m.

Loudoun County deputies responded at 6:45 a.m. Aug. 27 to the Hampton Inn & Suites in the 22700 block of Holiday Park Drive for the report of an intoxicated man asleep on a couch in the lobby
Deputies approached the man, later identified as Ethan O. Ralph, 30, of Richmond, and tried to wake him, but the man became combative and tried to walk away before resisting arrest and taking a swing at a deputy
Ralph, editor in chief of the Ralph Retort, a conservative news website, was charged with public intoxication, obstruction of justice and two counts of assault on law enforcement. He remained in jail until he was released on $3,500 bond

• Ethan Oliver Ralph gets wasted and falls asleep on a hotel couch. Alarmed by the fat hobo looking person sleeping in their lobby hotel personnel call the police. When the cops arrive and attempt to wake Ralph up, he becomes belligerent and aggressive and attempts to punch a police officer but he swings and misses. This was still considered assault. Ralph is arrested on the spot
• Ralph tries to hide the fact that he is in jail by having Nora tweet and publish blog posts for him, it does not take long before people figure out that he was arrested
• Nora continues posting on his behalf on his KF thread, claiming they have a good defense and that Ralph is going to beat the charges. No one believes it
• Since the information is out, Ralph is forced to post a strange update on his blog where he does not really explain what happened and only says that he was leaving the blog for a while and Nora was taking over
• Ralph is convicted and goes to jail for seven months for assaulting a police officer

I'll find the rest and post it when I have the chance.

 

[Least Concern]

The e-celeb spat counter needs to be reset for tonight's spat with Mayr. I tried to do it myself but it looks like I (and other non-admins?) don't have permissions to edit the home page.

 

[maize]

The e-celeb spat counter needs to be reset for tonight's spat with Mayr. I tried to do it myself but it looks like I (and other non-admins?) don't have permissions to edit the home page.

I wrote a brief blurb and yeah, you need to be staff to edit the front page just to avoid the hassle of people putting shitting dick nipples all over it or whatever. Hopefully we'll have some more people soon to help.

 

[maize]

The vote has concluded and we are now the Ralphapedia!

Also there's a new feature for links to social media sites. Write {{twitter|theralphretort}} to get to a nice link to the account with a bird icon next to it. I made a bunch of these (it's actually pretty simple you can look under the article Template:Twitter to see) and will be making better ones for links to specific tweets, etc.

 

[maize]

I said earlier maybe we would have a contest for the name. I was also thinking we could just change it up on a regular basis. A lot of people are good at making memes and stuff like that here so it might be fun to rotate. Since "Ralphapedia" is looking likely I made a little doodle:

I meant art, not name. We could put up a new logo periodically or maybe even have a random one show up out of a set each time. Since people are good at and like making memes I figured I would take submissions. For now the logo I kicked together is: