Grand Jury speculation thread

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What will the next legal development be?

  • Grand Jury declares Chris fit for trial

    Votes: 458 30.3%

  • Grand Jury declares Chris a brokebrain and unfit for trial

    Votes: 203 13.4%

  • CONTINUANCE!

    Votes: 220 14.6%

  • Plea deal

    Votes: 122 8.1%

  • The US collapses, Chris escapes from jail and becomes a cult-leader

    Votes: 208 13.8%

  • The Merge occurs

    Votes: 301 19.9%
  • Total voters
    1,512
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Raping your dementia riddled 80 year old mother being a minor crime that doesn’t even require a jury in the state of Virginia is certainly a fact I did not expect to learn today.
 
Good Ending: Chris is sent to a mental institution and given the help he actually needs. Comes out, ditches the internet, works on being a semi-functional adult.

Neutral Ending: Continuance. Hearing postponed until a later date.

Bad Ending: Chris is released, immediately goes on the internet to shitpost and terrorize the masses once again.

Alternate Ending: Chris is actually the messiah. Judge sentences him to death, triggering third impact and the rapture. Praise be.
 
Vamp Soulja said:
I don’t think Chris will sperg in court and I don’t think he’ll make a grand declaration of divinity if he’s freed.
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His last appearance he did sperg big time so it's definitely a possibility.
I don't see how it goes any other way on your second point. This divinity thing has been around since before JoF and doesn't seem to have any brakes.

Now, if he realizes there is nothing of his left at 14BC AND there are no weens to asspat him and prop him up then maybe some of it will go to the wayside. I seriously doubt it though.
 
PyrrhicRustle said:
Welcome to the farms, someone speculates on a topic with no solid evidence, and five pages later a dozen people repeat it as gospel truth.
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This has never happened. Now if you don't mind I'm going to read up on Ethan Ralph who is dying of AIDS after getting pegged.
 
LargeChoonger said:
What will become of the hoard if Chris is permabanned from 14BC? You'd have to contract a hazmat specialist at this rate
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Whoever is responsible for 14BC will probably call one of those companies that just haul junk away to clean out the house, where said junk will be evaluated and then scattered to the winds via garbage, goodwill/salvation army donation, or outright resale.

There's probably as much hazmat risk as there is in any hoarder's house, the Chandler residence isn't even truly the worst I've ever seen.
 
Pointless Sperg said:
J&DR is a court for petty/small(ish) crimes like domestic violence. It does not have jury trials. The judge is the one who decides. While by Virginia law Chris is entitled to a jury trial, he can only request it after a bench trial in J&DR has completed.

Please read the FAQ.



There's no guarantee that, even if a plea deal is worked out, that *this* hearing will be the one where it's enacted, so there could very well be another continuance.

And even if Chris is released, that doesn't mean the case if finalized. If he's on probation the case stays open until he's completed all the terms of his probation. This is also technically a continuance.
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Is it possible that Chris could be released today, but with conditions, and sentenced at a later date?

If so, would they rehouse/set up a support or whatever they are required to do under this law, in the hope that it would make him even more likely to return for sentencing?
 
Optimus Prime said:
Whoever is responsible for 14BC will probably call one of those companies that just haul junk away to clean out the house, where said junk will be evaluated and then scattered to the winds via garbage, goodwill/salvation army donation, or outright resale.

There's probably as much hazmat risk as there is in any hoarder's house, the Chandler residence isn't even truly the worst I've ever seen.
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Local thrift stores gonna be sitting on a gold mine of retardifacts and not even know it.
 
Optimus Prime said:
Whoever is responsible for 14BC will probably call one of those companies that just haul junk away to clean out the house, where said junk will be evaluated and then scattered to the winds via garbage, goodwill/salvation army donation, or outright resale.

There's probably as much hazmat risk as there is in any hoarder's house, the Chandler residence isn't even truly the worst I've ever seen.
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Someone’s going to unknowingly buy Chris’ stuff at a Goodwill and trigger an event that will make Jumanji look like a normal situation.
 
LikeAStone said:
Someone’s going to unknowingly buy Chris’ stuff at a Goodwill and trigger an event that will make Jumanji look like a normal situation.
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Da Merge can not be stopped
My Name is Mud said:
Fuck the hazmat haulers, send in a team of archeologists.
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Yeah, we already had that happen following the house fire. That's how we have a ton of Chris's schoolwork documented - literally taken from ground zero.
 
If Chris gets released how long do you think he's waiting to post the godess log and dox the entire new generation of reddit/twitter weens?
 
Optimus Prime said:
the Chandler residence isn't even truly the worst I've ever seen.
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Truth. My previous occupation had me going into many houses and I had a stack of newspapers collapse on me once and had to throw out a pair of work boots from caked on human fecal matter in another. I have seent things that would make a Pope an hero.
 
algern0n said:
Maybe worth trying again in a few hours. It might still be pending.
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Yeah can't imagine the computer system they use updates instantly. I think with the other hearings we've always gotten the update the same day, just usually later in the afternoon.

Or Chris starts tweeting and we'll know for sure.
 
I can see how the defense attorney will keep Chris from sperging out. In a few letters, Chris said He is going home. To Chris, this means 14BC. But it's most likely wherever they are going to put Him.

But Chris thinks it's 14BC so when they mention home, that's what Chris will think.

Until He finds out after the hearing and sperg out then.
 
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