Grand Jury speculation thread

[King Kiwi]

I'm probably wrong but I can just imagine this news hitting Chris very hard.

What's next after the Jesus Christ phase?

That's another 6 months.

Guess we'll see.

 

[I swear she's 18]

Bob lived to his 80s. Barb is 80 now. Bob's father lived to be something like 90. I'm gonna say 70-75.

Bob and Borb both had a safety net (thanks to Bob) with Borb barely scraping by with Chris' SSID and her SSI/pension. Once she passes the mountain of debt will have the bank take possession of the house. With Chris going on a tard rage not understanding how mortgages and debt works screaming to high heaven "but that's my home! I own it!" Chris will hit the streets because he's too lazy and moronic to apply for Section 8, and then he'd have to survive while he's on the waiting list. Depending on how the case goes he could be ineligible for SSI. And no one would want to take Chris in except the most autistic of weens/white knights. Who would no doubt evict him after a few days of his antics.

Sure, Chris has longevity. He survived the unclit after all and somehow doesn't seem to have crippling diabetes or other illnesses. Mother nature however, is merciless.

If Chris manages to get into a tard home. I could see him being a dumbass and leaving on his own accord. Chris doesn't do well with authority, but if he does what he's told he might be able to live life quietly with maybe the occasional sperg out. I don't know if he'd be able to rent on his own. Any property manager or landlord doing a "CWC" search would nope the fuck out after looking at their record. Unless they don't mind taking a loss on their property or if they are a slumlord and it's already a shitty place to live.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

What the fuck? I could have sworn one of the Constution's first 10 amendments is a right to a Speedy trial. It'll be almost a whole year he's awaiting trial. At this point I'm more interested in the whole proceedings now instead of the actual verdict, and why it takes this long.

Chris may have wanted a speedy trial based off of what he's learned from the TV just to get back to his sex toys Barb, but his lawyer may have given Chris the best advice, told him to stay there while he fixes everything. It's not like Chris can magically teleport out of jail or anything.

 

[Hexbox]

I agree with the folks that have said Heilberg is racking up Chris' time served to help with a plea. He seems pretty damn on-the-ball and went to a premier law school. I can only imagine what his meetings with this particular client are like.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I think Heilberg's office has gotten a lot of calls from weens, begging him for a plea deal of some kind of punishment, just to see Chris' reaction. I'd hate to be one of his assistants tasked with reading the CWCki or watching the Geno videos.

 

[Muu]

I'm sure Chris was happy playing pretend thinking he's getting out soon then hearing July even I didn't think it would be that far away, so Chris is probably tard raging and not in the mood to write letters.

 

[I swear she's 18]

I agree with the folks that have said Heilberg is racking up Chris' time served to help with a plea. He seems pretty damn on-the-ball and went to a premier law school. I can only imagine what his meetings with this particular client are like.

From my understanding. Every time he went to a psychologist to verify he's a retard (for SSI) and for the mental health docket. Chris would act as normal as possible. No delusions, no merge nonsense, maybe referencing the trolls, but nothing too in depth. He's mentally immature not mentally broken. At least, not yet. I mean he lied about banging Barb and that takes lucidity and understanding right from wrong.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

The problem with that is that Chris is a relatively high profile criminal. If they just dump him and he hits the skids, there will be a lot of press claiming that "the system failed him". All those school shooters and kids who got abused to death have given social services a black eye. They're going to want to tie this one up tight so it doesn't happen here.

All of those people were failed by the system for a reason. It's how it works. They're not going to work extra hard to make sure Chris' case gets handled correctly because he's a Z-list public figure- he'll get the same indifferent treatment that the future school shooters got, too.

The only thing potentially special about this case is if they for some reason let it go to trial and have Chris or Barb testify under oath. The fallout of that would be very special.

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

since this christian love day is chris' 40 birthday, how long do y'all think he'll live given his general unhealthiness?

My optimistic guess - sometime between ages 56 and 60. He just seems very worn out now already.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

My optimistic guess - sometime between ages 56 and 60. He just seems very worn out now already.

I'm under the opinion that Chris would last slightly less than that, if you count Chris eventual inheritance of Bob's heart condition. Wasn't Bob around Chris' age (late 30s, early 40s)when he first had his heart problems?

 

[You Dun Boof’ed]

I called the courthouse. The next hearing is
July 28

It’s only fitting that the motherfucker saga begins and ends in the month of JULAAAYYY…

But in all seriousness, it’s no wonder we haven’t heard from him. He’s probably sitting on his shit stained prayer rug seething about how this is all that dang dirty troll, Joshua Moon’s fault. In his mind, he’s in jail because he got betrayed by the trolls, and not because he actually did anything wrong.

 

[King Kiwi]

Chris is probably tard raging and not in the mood to write letters.

Heheh probably.

 

[Big Lenny]

I called the courthouse. The next hearing is
July 28

Good lord, He'll have been locked up close to a year before the trial gets heard.

Bob and Borb both had a safety net (thanks to Bob) with Borb barely scraping by with Chris' SSID and her SSI/pension. Once she passes the mountain of debt will have the bank take possession of the house. With Chris going on a tard rage not understanding how mortgages and debt works screaming to high heaven "but that's my home! I own it!" Chris will hit the streets because he's too lazy and moronic to apply for Section 8, and then he'd have to survive while he's on the waiting list. Depending on how the case goes he could be ineligible for SSI. And no one would want to take Chris in except the most autistic of weens/white knights. Who would no doubt evict him after a few days of his antics.

Sure, Chris has longevity. He survived the unclit after all and somehow doesn't seem to have crippling diabetes or other illnesses. Mother nature however, is merciless.

If Chris manages to get into a tard home. I could see him being a dumbass and leaving on his own accord. Chris doesn't do well with authority, but if he does what he's told he might be able to live life quietly with maybe the occasional sperg out. I don't know if he'd be able to rent on his own. Any property manager or landlord doing a "CWC" search would nope the fuck out after looking at their record. Unless they don't mind taking a loss on their property or if they are a slumlord and it's already a shitty place to live.

I doubt he'd live in a tard home given his complex about not being "slow in da mind" that he's had since high school.

 

[I swear she's 18]

I'm under the opinion that Chris would last slightly less than that, if you count Chris eventual inheritance of Bob's heart condition. Wasn't Bob around Chris' age (late 30s, early 40s)when he first had his heart problems?

Possibly, but Bob didn't die of a heart attack. He died being slowly eaten alive by bugs, unable to fight back, crying for help as the world slowly crumbles around him. He knew he fucked up his first marriage and when Chris was born. He thought it was a sign from God. (It's possibly why he wanted to name him Christian) That he can do right and raise a proper family. Except try as he might he didn't have the strength nor will. His body too far gone. Whilst laying you hear your retard son screaming and yelling nonsense. Coming to terms that all his hopes and dreams. All he's done to make his mark on the world. The struggle he'd endured was all for naught. His biggest fear after all is being forgotten. At that moment he knew that Chris wasn't his redemption. Chris is the punishment for the wrongs he committed.

Yet, in a twisted sense Bob got what he wanted. He would never be forgotten, but it's not because of his accomplishments or his worldly treasures that brought joy and meaning to life. He'll always be remembered as the bastard father who betrayed his family. Raising the spawn of Lust and Gluttony. His son being black face of every community he identifies with and who ultimately fucked his own mom.

At the very least. He doesn't have to suffer anymore. Bob isn't an angel, but he didn't deserve this.

 

[SaintChristopher69]

What's next after the Jesus Christ phase?

The suicide saga?

 

[Hogar Grupal]

The suicide saga?

Chris doesn't have anything else to lose (other than his hoard). However, Chris is too cowardly to take his own life.

 

[SaintChristopher69]

Chris doesn't have anything else to lose (other than his hoard). However, Chris is too cowardly to take his own life.

...and is probably too lazy to even consider trying.

 

[Cybertonia]

Chris will hit the streets because he's too lazy and moronic to apply for Section 8, and then he'd have to survive while he's on the waiting list.

I disagree. ADF managed to get himself into section 8 and he's 10 times stupider than Chris

 

[Ophelia]

I doubt he'd live in a tard home given his complex about not being "slow in da mind" that he's had since high school.

It’s not like they’d call it “Bozo’s House for Dumb Dumbs.” He could live somewhere without realizing it’s for slow in da minds (like him).

The suicide saga?

The only goodish thing the Idea Spergs did was tell Chris that people who suicide don’t become Sonichus in the afterlife. If Chris believes this, coupled with his narcissism and cowardice, it’s not how he’ll go.

 

[Uncle Meat]

The only thing potentially special about this case is if they for some reason let it go to trial and have Chris or Barb testify under oath. The fallout of that would be very special.

Absolutely no chance whatsoever.

Chris is apparently separate from the rest of the jail population. His next court date is six months off. There is a reason for special treatment and such a long delay. It isn't to go to trial. Barb may not even be here in six months. The only thing I can think of is that they are trying to figure out what will happen to Chris when he's released so he won't cause trouble again. With Chris, that is difficult. His family doesn't want anything to do with him. He is incapable of taking care of himself, even with a tugboat. He is spouting Jesus-Pony word salad at every opportunity. He is clearly retarded. Knowing all those things, the judge may be forcing the attorneys to find a place for him to land. That is a huge job.