Goblin Hate Thread

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The worst are the ones trying to act as salesmen, relentlessly trying to sell you something. Getting their immediate superior, who is also a goblin, to try and convince you. They're terrible at picking up on queues of you not being interested.

I was awaiting an important semaphore from the Western Mines and got two urgent messages on my work line.

It turns out it was a goblin trying to sell me "tax relief" for my 10,000 credits tax debt. I expect to be arrested tomorrow for this grievous debt if it is to be believed.

 

[Kiwisee]

I hate the way goblins say “do the needful” and “saaar”.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

 

[Shartavius]

I grade video games on a pass-or-fail basis of whether they allow the player to play as a goblin. I consider Super Mario to be a type of goblin known as an Italian.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Vaush will disagree with you

 

[Chuck McGill]

You guys are way too unfair on goblins! Some of this slander against goblins just isn't right, and it needs to stop. We're actually a very clean people, and they do all the jobs dwarves and elves are too prissy and spoiled to do! I mean how else are we gonna beat Mordor, guys?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Vaush will disagree with you

He's a different kind of "goblin slayer".

 

[Deus Exica]

The local Lord brought in a horde of goblins to work as farmhands in my local village. They're willing to do the work for one gold coin a week instead of two. Now they're bringing in another batch to replace the innkeep and blacksmith too!

As if that isn't bad enough, they don't even speak Common! Only Goblish! I tried to buy a pack of carrots at the market the other day and the Green skinned fucker couldn't even figure out what I was asking for!

Why, I'd be mad if they didn't immigrate legally.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Hey, don't knock those goblin girls! They're pretty great.

 

[Calandrino]

Goblin rocks though

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I hate goblins but I'm sexually attracted to hobgoblins and bugbears. What should I do?

 

[Calandrino]

I hate goblins but I'm sexually attracted to hobgoblins and bugbears. What should I do?

I'm afraid the goblins won't be requesting your consent.

 

[Obstacle]

Hey, don't knock those goblin girls! They're pretty great.

On the other hand, if you get an infestation of Mammy Nuns, you might as well move kingdom, since they is more or less undestructible.

 

[Grub]

One time I caught some goblins in a spike pit and left them there for a few years while I built an elaborate death maze for them. It's a good thing they don't need food or water. Then I let them into the death maze one by one and let them watch while their friends got cut to pieces by giant saw blade traps. I'm still not sure if the tears in the eyes of the last one were from the horror of knowing they were next or pain from having their leg impaled on a spike for years. I'm assuming it wasn't sadness over watching its companions die because goblins don't have feelings so it's fine to horribly massacre them.

 

[soup peddler]

Step 1) goblin domestic slavery
Step 2) make them wear funny hats

 

[Jenson Patton]

If this is the Goblin you are talking about, it's bearable. Otherwise, get outta my sight, green midgets.

 

[Coldgrip]

You know what the best thing about a goblin is? The crunching sound he makes when you hit him with your warhammer.

 

[UnidentifiedFlyingOrchid]

I remembered this exists:

*intended for amusement only, please keep thread on topic (goblins)

 

[Flame War Vet]

Bros, I swear, I'm not an antigoblinite, but how come cave-ins have happened in 109 caves they inhabited?
Not implying anything, just asking questions.

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

But without goblins who will clean our horse stable, pick our berries and wash our grog mugs? I know a goblin and he's a good guy with a nice family who was just trying to escape persecution.