💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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This is a blog post, but it reads like a school paper. You know, like if you ask a child to write about something they did over the weekend. It's stilted, no natural voice to it. I've seen it a lot with bad writers. They don't know how to make a story flow, so reading their writing is more stumbling around unnecessary wording. Basic grammar is there, but the style is nonexistent. My last post talked about that, when I mentioned that you can tell she has no promise as a writer? A lot of it is because she lacks a writing voice. This is Chris' problem as well. His CWCisms make it even worse. So yeah. They sound similar because they can't write in a natural style. It's not uncommon, but most people struggle with it in creative writing.

It's a pretty common issue, but starting sentences with "immediately" and "suddenly" is like a writing speed bump. Integrating them into the sentence, or removing them entirely, helps. "But" in the way she used it also does that, though generally you're not supposed to use it at the beginning of a sentence anyway. She could combine several of those sentences and trim a lot of fat. Take "With the help of my girlfriend, I had dyed my hair completely into the colors of a pink and purple ombre." You could cut it down to "My girlfriend helped me dye my hair pink and purple ombre." I don't know how to refer to ombre in that context, but you get the idea.
ACTUALLY, I just noticed a huge thing. She doesn't use contractions. Granted, in that post there aren't many potential contractions, but leaving those few expanded makes a difference. Avoiding contractions is something you do in an academic essay, not a blog post.
That's my take on it, at least. I'm sure better writers could find more to pick out.
tl;dr That post sounds like something a particularly verbose Data would say.
 
God said:
This is a blog post, but it reads like a school paper. You know, like if you ask a child to write about something they did over the weekend. It's stilted, no natural voice to it. I've seen it a lot with bad writers. They don't know how to make a story flow, so reading their writing is more stumbling around unnecessary wording. Basic grammar is there, but the style is nonexistent. My last post talked about that, when I mentioned that you can tell she has no promise as a writer? A lot of it is because she lacks a writing voice. This is Chris' problem as well. His CWCisms make it even worse. So yeah. They sound similar because they can't write in a natural style. It's not uncommon, but most people struggle with it in creative writing.

It's a pretty common issue, but starting sentences with "immediately" and "suddenly" is like a writing speed bump. Integrating them into the sentence, or removing them entirely, helps. "But" in the way she used it also does that, though generally you're not supposed to use it at the beginning of a sentence anyway. She could combine several of those sentences and trim a lot of fat. Take "With the help of my girlfriend, I had dyed my hair completely into the colors of a pink and purple ombre." You could cut it down to "My girlfriend helped me dye my hair pink and purple ombre." I don't know how to refer to ombre in that context, but you get the idea.
ACTUALLY, I just noticed a huge thing. She doesn't use contractions. Granted, in that post there aren't many potential contractions, but leaving those few expanded makes a difference. Avoiding contractions is something you do in an academic essay, not a blog post.
That's my take on it, at least. I'm sure better writers could find more to pick out.
tl;dr That post sounds like something a particularly verbose Data would say.
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That's because all she ever reads are fashion and lifestyle magazines.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
That's because all she ever reads are fashion and lifestyle magazines.
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If you aren't reading at least a couple of well-written novels or nonfiction works every week, you'll never be able to write readable books, much less find your own style. I wouldn't be surprised at all if this aspiring fantasy-author has never cracked the works of Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Ursula K. Le Guin, or the other pre-Harry Potter giants of the genre.
 
It's been a long time since I read Narnia, but I'm pretty sure she ripped off quite a bit from it.
 
Seriously, though -- a hot young female who could write well, and would be open to exploiting herself with cheesecake shots, would be a unique literary property indeed.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Gloria hasn't done anything like that. And yeah, I get it: She's irritating and goofy. But to say she could turn to porn rather quickly is to ignore that she's hard working. She's had a job as a server in a restaurant and attended / attends college. She works out and moved away from home. She networks and tries to get her name out there. Even if she is doing some, or even all, of this stuff with daddy's money, she's still trying. None of those other ugly bastards have done a quarter of what Tesch has done, annoying behavior aside.

You don't like her writing? Hey, I'm right there with you. You think her music is a joke? No one laughs harder than me. But - and I'm asking this of both the men and women posting here - can we refrain from talking about Gloria getting into porn? We're better than that, folks. No need to go there.
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You have articulated very well something I had difficulty to since I been following Gloria's thread. Am afraid to come out like a white knight for that is the only real sin I can believe exists on the internets. Gloria Tesch is not that bad, if I put myself in her shoes being a young attractive female from a wealthy family would I act differently? would not I become spoiled and aim to be famous even tough I don't have real talent?

But to be entirely honest I joke about her doing porn because I find her hot and would like to see her doing it.
 
Satoru182 said:
You have articulated very well something I had difficulty to since I been following Gloria's thread. Am afraid to come out like a white knight for that is the only real sin I can believe exists on the internets. Gloria Tesch is not that bad, if I put myself in her shoes being a young attractive female from a wealthy family would I act differently? would not I become spoiled and aim to be famous even tough I don't have real talent?

But to be entirely honest I joke about her doing porn because I find her hot and would like to see her doing it.
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The only reason I brought it up is because it's such an obvious possible fate for a young, presentable, not-too-bright woman who comes to Los Angeles with stars in her eyes. The Casting Couch and its cinematic/photographic equivalents have existed ever since the first silent-film camera started rolling in Hollywood, and have snared countless young females desperate for money and/or exposure in the entertainment industry.

And as someone who's worked on the fringes of the entertainment industry, I've seen first-hand what the porn world can do to both performers and producers alike, and wouldn't wish such treatment on my worst enemy, let alone a basically decent (if lolcowish) young woman like Gloria. May she never have to consider such a vile "career" option during her time in Tinseltown.
 
I just hope Daddy's Money holds out, and that she's smart and self-possessed enough to fight off the creeps.

Really -- I laugh my ass off at the antics of most lolcows here, but don't wish any of them to be harmed*, or have their rather unique lives wrecked by exploiters or criminals.

*Two possible exceptions: I think Nick Bate should be in an institution; and OPL probably deserves a few months' in County for his latest antics, and as a grim demonstration of the consequences of his repeated public meltdowns.
 
PurpleSquirrel said:
I wouldn't be surprised at all if this aspiring fantasy-author has never cracked the works of Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Ursula K. Le Guin, or the other pre-Harry Potter giants of the genre.
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Actually, Gloria might have actually read at least one of the Narnia novels (or perhaps watched an adaptation). Or at least be familiar with the overall premise. At any rate, she's kinda-sorta plagiarized from Narnia a bit. And the Bible, but that's probably more of a case of getting her ideas from her priest's sermons that week.
 
Heretics on Holiday said:
Oh dear. I've used Splat before, that stuff does not come out. At least she's just doing ombre and not her entire head the way I did.
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Oh no, if you look at the picture that came with the blog post, she did her entire head -- lighter at the top, and darker at the bottom. (There are also some commenters there too, I don't know if I'd call them weens, but they're definitely trolling. She doesn't seem to actually reply to comments, by the looks of it.)

God said:
This is a blog post, but it reads like a school paper. You know, like if you ask a child to write about something they did over the weekend. It's stilted, no natural voice to it. I've seen it a lot with bad writers. They don't know how to make a story flow, so reading their writing is more stumbling around unnecessary wording. Basic grammar is there, but the style is nonexistent. My last post talked about that, when I mentioned that you can tell she has no promise as a writer? A lot of it is because she lacks a writing voice. This is Chris' problem as well. His CWCisms make it even worse. So yeah. They sound similar because they can't write in a natural style. It's not uncommon, but most people struggle with it in creative writing.

It's a pretty common issue, but starting sentences with "immediately" and "suddenly" is like a writing speed bump. Integrating them into the sentence, or removing them entirely, helps. "But" in the way she used it also does that, though generally you're not supposed to use it at the beginning of a sentence anyway. She could combine several of those sentences and trim a lot of fat. Take "With the help of my girlfriend, I had dyed my hair completely into the colors of a pink and purple ombre." You could cut it down to "My girlfriend helped me dye my hair pink and purple ombre." I don't know how to refer to ombre in that context, but you get the idea.
ACTUALLY, I just noticed a huge thing. She doesn't use contractions. Granted, in that post there aren't many potential contractions, but leaving those few expanded makes a difference. Avoiding contractions is something you do in an academic essay, not a blog post.
That's my take on it, at least. I'm sure better writers could find more to pick out.
tl;dr That post sounds like something a particularly verbose Data would say.
Click to expand...
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head; it sounds incredibly stilted, and unnecessarily wordy. I agree that being homeschooled by two ESL speakers probably didn't help her English skills.

The not using contractions thing is odd too, now that I notice it. I know I've done it in academic essays, and sometimes in prose, when I want to convey a certain tone -- but here it doesn't fit.
 
I actually find Pixiteri cuter than Gloria. Which may be not saying much, but come on, Pixi has at least more than two facial expressions.

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