💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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According to her website, she now lives in Los Angeles.

In terms of crazy, going from Florida to LA is a lateral move.
 
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Henry Bemis said:
According to her SoundCloud, she now lives in Los Angeles.

In terms of crazy, going from Florida to LA is a lateral move.
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Just a different type of crazy. Florida has meth addled rednecks, old people, trailer trash, tourists, and people too crazy for Alabama and Georgia.
LA has wanna be movie stars, gangsters, hippies, SJWs, and the assorted detritus of the entertainment industry.
 
Randall Fragg said:
Just a different type of crazy. Florida has meth addled rednecks, old people, trailer trash, tourists, and people too crazy for Alabama and Georgia.
LA has wanna be movie stars, gangsters, hippies, SJWs, and the assorted detritus of the entertainment industry.
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Aren't Hippies and SJWs more of a San Francisco thing?
 
all the world is crazy. the question is, what kind of crazy are we talking about.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
Gloria's facial muscles must have a binary switch:
0 - grinning
1 - staring intensely trying to look sexy
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I wonder if Gloria has trouble recognizing facial expressions and therefore difficulty emulating emotions. In every picture I see of her she has this empty, yet uncomfortable look in her eyes. It reminds me of that movie "Polar Express" where the CGI characters have soulless eyes and it terrified just about everyone who saw it in theaters. It could be that she's just a terrible model who has no idea how to look natural and relaxed in front of a camera, but it's a persistent problem.
 
PurpleSquirrel said:
She had better hope Daddy's Money keeps her in stead there. Otherwise, I can easily see her being sucked into the "Adult Entertainment" industry inside of one year.
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Doubtful she'd ever go there. Gloria totally seems like one of those people who believes in technical virginity, and porn makes that pretty damn impossible to maintain.
 
As an L.A. native, I can tell you that you'd be surprised what potential "trophy wives" from good homes will do for the cameras when the rent is three months' past due and the fridge is empty.
 
Uh, folks , as the guy who had written what may well be one of the top ten nastiest posts about Gloria on this board, I realize that what I say may seem a bit hypocritical, but that's the thing about hypocrisy : It's okay if I do it.

Consider this list of names:
The Iconoclast (Jon Sweet)
Nick Bate (Nick Stoutzenberger)
Zoojay (Jonathan Niehaus)
Christian Weston (Christopher Ricardo Kaka Apple Crisp Jenkens Jinkies Fat Dummy) Chandler

And finally, Goldilocks (Gloria Tesch)

All are obnoxious, untalented, and deserving of their derision, but what are the differences? Well, for one, Gloria is a woman, whereas the rest of these freaks are a bunch of men (for lack of a better term). That's one major difference between them. Here's another:

Those guys up there? The males of this group? They made porn. Actual porn. Porn of their hideous, revolting, unhygienic selves. Sweet sent nudes to a woman who was obviously trolling him. Niehause recorded himself sexually abusing a dog and deliberately uploaded it for the public to see. Stouzenberger took at least one shot of himself nude and put it up on twitter. And Chris? Pfft. Chris showed his chode, anus, and purely ornamental testicles under a fucking strapon harness in order to show his troll girlfriend that he was ready to scissor her.

Whether it was one pic or a number of videos, the point was to elicit sexual arousal in the recipient. Porn. Some of these guys exposed themselves online repeatedly. There's never been any doubt that they may do it again, particularly Chris, who's really been flying off the handle recently. But we never say, "I'll bet those guys are going to try to land a contract with Vivid someday!"

So where's Gloria's porn? I must admit, I haven't seen any, nor have I seen any announcement of any intention to do porn. Sure, she models in skimpy bikinis and whatnot, gets all gussied up in a Jiggle Red Riding Hood outfit, but no nipples or oral stuff or ding dongs pneumatically hammering into lilies. Not one frame. But suddenly, we're talking about how she may do porn one day.

Gloria hasn't done anything like that. And yeah, I get it: She's irritating and goofy. But to say she could turn to porn rather quickly is to ignore that she's hard working. She's had a job as a server in a restaurant and attended / attends college. She works out and moved away from home. She networks and tries to get her name out there. Even if she is doing some, or even all, of this stuff with daddy's money, she's still trying. None of those other ugly bastards have done a quarter of what Tesch has done, annoying behavior aside.

You don't like her writing? Hey, I'm right there with you. You think her music is a joke? No one laughs harder than me. But - and I'm asking this of both the men and women posting here - can we refrain from talking about Gloria getting into porn? We're better than that, folks. No need to go there.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Uh, folks , as the guy who had written what may well be one of the top ten nastiest posts about Gloria on this board, I realize that what I say may seem a bit hypocritical, but that's the thing about hypocrisy : It's okay if I do it.

Consider this list of names:
The Iconoclast (Jon Sweet)
Nick Bate (Nick Stoutzenberger)
Zoojay (Jonathan Niehaus)
Christian Weston (Christopher Ricardo Kaka Apple Crisp Jenkens Jinkies Fat Dummy) Chandler

And finally, Goldilocks (Gloria Tesch)

All are obnoxious, untalented, and deserving of their derision, but what are the differences? Well, for one, Gloria is a woman, whereas the rest of these freaks are a bunch of men (for lack of a better term). That's one major difference between them. Here's another:

Those guys up there? The males of this group? They made porn. Actual porn. Porn of their hideous, revolting, unhygienic selves. Sweet sent nudes to a woman who was obviously trolling him. Niehause recorded himself sexually abusing a dog and deliberately uploaded it for the public to see. Stouzenberger took at least one shot of himself nude and put it up on twitter. And Chris? Pfft. Chris showed his chode, anus, and purely ornamental testicles under a fucking strapon harness in order to show his troll girlfriend that he was ready to scissor her.

Whether it was one pic or a number of videos, the point was to elicit sexual arousal in the recipient. Porn. Some of these guys exposed themselves online repeatedly. There's never been any doubt that they may do it again, particularly Chris, who's really been flying off the handle recently. But we never say, "I'll bet those guys are going to try to land a contract with Vivid someday!"

So where's Gloria's porn? I must admit, I haven't seen any, nor have I seen any announcement of any intention to do porn. Sure, she models in skimpy bikinis and whatnot, gets all gussied up in a Jiggle Red Riding Hood outfit, but no nipples or oral stuff or ding dongs pneumatically hammering into lilies. Not one frame. But suddenly, we're talking about how she may do porn one day.

Gloria hasn't done anything like that. And yeah, I get it: She's irritating and goofy. But to say she could turn to porn rather quickly is to ignore that she's hard working. She's had a job as a server in a restaurant and attended / attends college. She works out and moved away from home. She networks and tries to get her name out there. Even if she is doing some, or even all, of this stuff with daddy's money, she's still trying. None of those other ugly bastards have done a quarter of what Tesch has done, annoying behavior aside.

You don't like her writing? Hey, I'm right there with you. You think her music is a joke? No one laughs harder than me. But - and I'm asking this of both the men and women posting here - can we refrain from talking about Gloria getting into porn? We're better than that, folks. No need to go there.
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Personally I think these lolcows are not really a good comparison. I think Moleman would be much better. Both are spoiled rich kids with ambitions of huge franchises, and are completely oblivious to their own shortcomings as well as the lack of demand for their products.
 
It's funny -- considering that Gloria's known on the internet for Maradonia, I don't see much news on the Maradonia front at all. There's still one book to go in the series, and it hasn't been written. Aside from the IndieGoGo stuff, I haven't heard anything new about her movie. She seems to be focusing on her music these days, especially if she's living in LA now. Makes me wonder if she's stopped writing entirely. Which makes me a bit sad, since Maradonia was just hilariously awful. The music's bad too, but not in the same way.

EDIT: Well, in terms of Gloria's awful writing, there is her blog. Highlights:

Gloria's blog said:
This has to be one of the most spontaneous decisions I have ever made. My girlfriend and I were walking in Walgreens for no specific reason. Suddenly, she asked me if I wanted to do something different. My response was, "What do you mean?"
She lifted up a box of red hair dye and suggested that I try that color. Immediately, I grabbed the box and exclaimed, "Yes!" But then something had caught my eye. I noticed more intense colors such as: blue, green, pink, red, and purple. I picked up and purchased the purple ombre hairdye kit. The brand I definitely recommend using the product from S.P.L.A.T "Rebellious" hair.
With the help of my girlfriend, I had dyed my hair completely into the colors of a pink and purple ombre. This decision has been awesome ever since. "No RAGRETS, not even a single letter."
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Is it just me, or does her writing resemble Chris', just a bit? Something about the phrasings she uses seem odd (that and recommending specific products, like Chris does).
 
TheIncredibleLioness said:
Is it just me, or does her writing resemble Chris', just a bit? Something about the phrasings she uses seem odd (that and recommending specific products, like Chris does).
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She doesn't capitalize random words and her sentences don't wander off into random tangents like Chris does, but there are some vague similarities.
 
TheIncredibleLioness said:
It's funny -- considering that Gloria's known on the internet for Maradonia, I don't see much news on the Maradonia front at all. There's still one book to go in the series, and it hasn't been written. Aside from the IndieGoGo stuff, I haven't heard anything new about her movie. She seems to be focusing on her music these days, especially if she's living in LA now. Makes me wonder if she's stopped writing entirely. Which makes me a bit sad, since Maradonia was just hilariously awful. The music's bad too, but not in the same way.

EDIT: Well, in terms of Gloria's awful writing, there is her blog. Highlights:



Is it just me, or does her writing resemble Chris', just a bit? Something about the phrasings she uses seem odd (that and recommending specific products, like Chris does).
Click to expand...
I imagine this is how Zoe Quinn starts her day as well.
 
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