💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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c-no said:
bradsternum said:
Stanek has built a Muppet troop of sock puppets. He's a pathetic man.
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Pathetic may be an understatment in describing Stanek. On that same note, should we have a thread about Stanek so we don't derail this thread?
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Probably a good idea.
 
That interview infuriates me. Like really infuriates me. She answers no questions properly. The DJs have a lot of audacity to compare HER to J K Rowling. You do not compare J K Rowling to some spoilt 11 year old. Everything she says is stupid and common to any fucker who puts a pen betwixt their arse cheeks and writes something. All writers grow throughout their work. All writers get inspiration from anywhere. The fact that she slaps "classic" around like it doesn't mean something.

clas·sic/ˈklæsɪk/ Show Spelled [klas-ik] Show IPA
adjective Also, classical (for defs 1–5, 8, 10).
1. of the first or highest quality, class, or rank: a classic piece of work.
2. serving as a standard, model, or guide: the classic method of teaching arithmetic.
3. of or pertaining to Greek and Roman antiquity, especially with reference to literature and art.
4. modeled upon or imitating the style or thought of ancient Greece and Rome: The 17th and 18th centuries were obsessed with classic ideals.
5. of or adhering to an established set of artistic or scientific standards or methods: a classic example of mid-Victorian architecture.


Maradonia can be related to none of those definition.

Gah. Sure you read 4 books a day Gloria.
 
GGGBYBYBY said:
That interview infuriates me. Like really infuriates me. She answers no questions properly.
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That's okay, because the questions they posed aren't really particularly thought-provoking either. Ooh, how did she write a 800 page book? Ask any real author that question and they'll probably stare at you for a moment before replying "well, if you want more pages in your book, you write more.". (Of course, Tesch cheated. She just increased the font size.)

Tesch also picks up the old "don't spend time developing the story, just write the first draft" thing as if that would be some kind of a holy grail that she had discovered and other authors don't know about. Eh, two things: 1) every NaNoWriMo author does this - don't stop to think too much, just work on finishing a shitty first draft in a set period of time. Once that is done, there's always time to develop it later. 2) Tesch thinks this is all that matters and doesn't do a second draft at all. (Except when people kept sporking the first novel so she finally released a revised version as an ebook.)

I really had to facepalm when she started reading an obviously prepared back-cover blurb or something. Nice going, an author who can't even summarise her own stories in her own words when asked. Gah.

And it's kind of funny how the interview goes to her getting support from her parents, right after they mention the Maradonia Theme Park. Remember, if you can't afford to build a theme park based on the ideas your kids have, you're a terrible parent. At least you should fund a vanity press effort to get a gruesome first draft to bookstores and tell the kid how awesome they are and how they should produce more gruesome drafts and not actually learn anything.


This spork of the beginning of the first book is pretty amazing. Too bad they haven't done more of it yet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfyywAr-ktM
 
Her parents paid the radio station to put her on the show.

As for the hosts' supposed interest in her story, that can simply be chalked up to America's pedophiliac fascination with youth.
 
It kinda bugs me when the length of a story is chalked up as an achievement anyway, because it doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't mean she spent more time or effort on that book than Joseph Conrad spent on Heart of Darkness. (it pains me to draw a comparison between the two. Even one this tenuous) It just means she used more words to tell hers. It's not an accomplishment. It literally doesn't have any significance to the quality of the story at all. Those 800 pages don't matter if the prose as well as the story is unsalvageable shit, which is exactly what Maradonia is. The book wouldn't have been better if it were 2000 pages long, and it wouldn't have been better if it were 100 pages long. It bears no significance.
 
It's especially bullshit in Tesch's case since she didn't use the standard font size. But since apparently her folks paid for the interview (I'd like to know how much) then it's not like there was genuine interest involved. At least not until they wrote a check.
 
c-no said:
Seeing as how Tesch's parents spend a ton of money, I just wonder how much her father will burn before they reach their limit. These novels and anything related to them such as the movie and the "interviews" have to be something that can leave a hole in their bank account.
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What exactly were those shady allegations about Gerry Tesch again?

Mr. and Mrs. Tesch may soon breathe easier, as Gloria seems a lot more involved in her newfound interest in modeling.
 
Henry Bemis said:
c-no said:
Seeing as how Tesch's parents spend a ton of money, I just wonder how much her father will burn before they reach their limit. These novels and anything related to them such as the movie and the "interviews" have to be something that can leave a hole in their bank account.
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What exactly were those shady allegations about Gerry Tesch again?

Mr. and Mrs. Tesch may soon breathe easier, as Gloria seems a lot more involved in her newfound interest in modeling.
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Maybe Gerry Tesch scammed people through deceptive advertising, ponzi schemes, tax loopholes, or something that gave him whatever amount it was. Bradsternum mentioned it in a earlier post about how the Tesch patriarch may of made his money. Kinda makes me wonder how much the mother makes. Perhaps she rakes in alot more without being a scammer. If Gloria is going to involved in modeling, she may as well get herself involved in the darker sides of modeling.
 
c-no said:
If Gloria is going to involved in modeling, she may as well get herself involved in the darker sides of modeling.
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Though it may be legal, the drastic amount of skin that she's shown as soon as she came of age is concerning, to say the least.
 
Henry Bemis said:
c-no said:
If Gloria is going to involved in modeling, she may as well get herself involved in the darker sides of modeling.
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Though it may be legal, the drastic amount of skin that she's shown as soon as she came of age is concerning, to say the least.
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Yeah, not to mention, there are also other aspects aside from the skin she shows such as health problems if she had to do something like losing weight. If she does become a model, what kind do you think she'll be?
 
c-no said:
Henry Bemis said:
c-no said:
If Gloria is going to involved in modeling, she may as well get herself involved in the darker sides of modeling.
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Though it may be legal, the drastic amount of skin that she's shown as soon as she came of age is concerning, to say the least.
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Yeah, not to mention, there are also other aspects aside from the skin she shows such as health problems if she had to do something like losing weight. If she does become a model, what kind do you think she'll be?
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No more than the bottom of the mid-list, I'd say. In such a fickle business, that's probably the point where the influence of money ends and the need for actual talent begins. Then, once she hits the age cap and the business mercilessly spits her out, who the hell knows where she'd go.

Hell, if she wasn't so concerned with propping herself up, I'd almost say her lack of direction is more dangerous than Chris's. Unlike Chris, she has (Daddy's) money to wield like a club.
 
Henry Bemis said:
the drastic amount of skin that she's shown as soon as she came of age is concerning, to say the least.
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Yeah, most of the recent videos would definitely need a dramatic "warning: there may be some boobs involved in this, but don't worry, they're quite well shrouded in clothing" health warning. And the suggestiveness is a little bit confusing, considering she's ostensibly writing wholesome Christian children's literature.

Which kind of reminds me, the religious ideas in the Maradonia books are pretty confusing. It's obviously a Narnia rip-off, but I always get the feeling that she's been exposed to fundamentalist-type Christianity and she's not really getting any of that. I can just picture that she's in church and the minister is ranting "magic and these harry-potters and pokey-mons are evil!" and she concocts some story points about how magic is baaaad. Next sunday: "beware all these shameful, depressed goths!" results of the writing session: The Gothic Movement. Next sunday: "The globalwarmingists and environmentalists are evil! And they're in cahoots with the evil pagan movements!" Tesch writes: The Evil Empire believes in Teamwork! And they sing the Mother Earth Songs!
...It's like she'd be several notches above CWC what comes to religious comprehension, but it's still kind of lame and stupid.
 
WWWWolf said:
Which kind of reminds me, the religious ideas in the Maradonia books are pretty confusing. It's obviously a Narnia rip-off, but I always get the feeling that she's been exposed to fundamentalist-type Christianity and she's not really getting any of that. I can just picture that she's in church and the minister is ranting "magic and these harry-potters and pokey-mons are evil!" and she concocts some story points about how magic is baaaad. Next sunday: "beware all these shameful, depressed goths!" results of the writing session: The Gothic Movement. Next sunday: "The globalwarmingists and environmentalists are evil! And they're in cahoots with the evil pagan movements!" Tesch writes: The Evil Empire believes in Teamwork! And they sing the Mother Earth Songs!
...It's like she'd be several notches above CWC what comes to religious comprehension, but it's still kind of lame and stupid.
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The violent, paranormally-aided death of Alanna Terrence in the second book, courtesy of an Ouija board, seems to suggest there's more than a little fundie in Gloria.

Also, the above contains spoilers.
 
I'm more partial to the Gothic Movement.

Upon reading the ebook sample I noticed that the dialogue her characters spew is so cringeworthy and doesn't sound as though ANYBODY even some twat living in a fantasy world would say. It's too awkward.
 
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