💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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I'd be willing to do Dragon Riders after this. The second and third book somehow managed to surpass the stupidity of the first book... and this was only me reading it second hand through sporkings.

Awesome, I'm happy to partake in that. I'd especially love to redo her training or the death of the king (which was totally Maya's fault for waiting a week before attempting to let the king know his kid was alive) or the part where she massacres the traitors, but I'll settle for whatever. I honestly feel like Dragon Riders is actually entertaining, things happen and they are dumb but at least there's some real action and kindergarten level intrigue.
 
I tried doing this one sober. Biiiig mistake. Dear GodBear, this is absolutely terrible stuff. Maya's got a black belt and she ends up choking the bully girl until she is gasping for air and her face is "red like a lobster"? That's absolutely psychotic.

Anyway...

CHAPTER 2: “School Fight”

After class ended, Maya gathered up her books, placed them in her backpack, and exited the classroom. None of her classmates looked at her, introduced themselves to her, or made any mention of the tripping incident.

As she saw the other students walking to their next classes in small groups, laughing and sharing stories, Maya felt even more alone. She looked down at her schedule, checked her next room assignment, and began walking in what she hoped was the right direction.

As Maya looked for the correct room number, she heard a voice cutting through the laughing and babble of the rest of the school.

“You really should be more careful.”

Maya continued to her next class; she didn’t know anyone, so no one would be talking to her, right?

Maya then felt someone poke her in the shoulder.

“Hey, new girl. You deaf?”

Maya stopped, turned, and saw the dark-haired girl who had tripped her leaning against a locker with a smirk on her face.

“I said, ‘You really should be more careful’, new girl. So are you clumsy, or just a tard?”

Since it was her first day in a new school, Maya had no desire to cause any problems. She turned away, and continued to her next class.

Maya felt a tug on the straps of her backpack and was spun around, coming face-to-face with the dark-haired girl. The girl smiled in a way that seemed to say “I’m better than you.”

Maya remained calm, and simply responded, “Move.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, new girl. You don’t tell me to move; you move for me. Consider this your warning.”

Before Maya knew what was happening, she saw a fist flying at her. As if she were in a dream, she could remember the teaching of her old sifu, Sum Yung Gai: “While the mightiest of oaks can be felled with but a single blow, the willow that bends with the wind will always remain standing.”

Maya was already moving backward when the girl’s blow caught her lightly on the chest. Maya rolled with the punch, fell backward, landed flat on her back, pushed off with her hands, and immediately sprung back up into the sanchin-dachi position.

The dark-haired girl followed up her attack with an off-balance roundhouse punch. Maya lifted her arm and lazily blocked the punch. Once again, she could almost hear Master Gai whispering in her ear: “Pay no attention to those around you. Focus only on your opponent. There lies the threat, so only by studying them will you know of the danger.”

The noise of the hallway abated and everything around Maya, except for the dark-haired girl, seemed to blur and fade away. The girl was Maya’s sole point of focus and Maya studied her, waiting for an opening.

As the girl brought her arm back for another sloppy roundhouse punch, Maya lunged, and the flat of Maya’s palm caught the girl square in her chest. Just like Master Gai had taught her, she tensed at the moment of contact, minimized her follow-through, and transferred the full force of her blow into the girl, who flew backward into the locker, then fell to the floor.

Maya stepped forward and held her arm out with her palm up. She made eye contact with the girl, then waggled her fingers, as if inviting her to get up and continue. The girl declined, gathering up her scattered books and beating a hasty retreat.

As Maya’s adrenaline rush subsided, she gradually became aware of her surroundings and noticed Joey in the crowd. He had already gathered up her backpack and was looking at her with a newfound admiration as he handed it over to her.

“What are you looking at, Joey?” she asked.

“Maya, you just took out Amber Lynn Reed. She’s one of the nastiest bullies in the school.”

Maya took her backpack out of Joey’s hands, turned, and walked to her next class. “She started it.”

As the day went on, Maya noticed her classmates’ attitudes changing. Many of them made eye contact with her and she even got the occasional smile. However, the best message came at the end of the day as she boarded the bus for the ride home. As Maya walked down the aisle to sit with Joey she heard a number of whispers “That’s the girl who kicked Amber Lynn’s butt!”
 
I tried doing this one sober. Biiiig mistake. Dear GodBear, this is absolutely terrible stuff. Maya's got a black belt and she ends up choking the bully girl until she is gasping for air and her face is "red like a lobster"? That's absolutely psychotic.

Anyway...

CHAPTER 2: “School Fight”

After class ended, Maya gathered up her books, placed them in her backpack, and exited the classroom. None of her classmates looked at her, introduced themselves to her, or made any mention of the tripping incident.

As she saw the other students walking to their next classes in small groups, laughing and sharing stories, Maya felt even more alone. She looked down at her schedule, checked her next room assignment, and began walking in what she hoped was the right direction.

As Maya looked for the correct room number, she heard a voice cutting through the laughing and babble of the rest of the school.

“You really should be more careful.”

Maya continued to her next class; she didn’t know anyone, so no one would be talking to her, right?

Maya then felt someone poke her in the shoulder.

“Hey, new girl. You deaf?”

Maya stopped, turned, and saw the dark-haired girl who had tripped her leaning against a locker with a smirk on her face.

“I said, ‘You really should be more careful’, new girl. So are you clumsy, or just a tard?”

Since it was her first day in a new school, Maya had no desire to cause any problems. She turned away, and continued to her next class.

Maya felt a tug on the straps of her backpack and was spun around, coming face-to-face with the dark-haired girl. The girl smiled in a way that seemed to say “I’m better than you.”

Maya remained calm, and simply responded, “Move.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, new girl. You don’t tell me to move; you move for me. Consider this your warning.”

Before Maya knew what was happening, she saw a fist flying at her. As if she were in a dream, she could remember the teaching of her old sifu, Sum Yung Gai: “While the mightiest of oaks can be felled with but a single blow, the willow that bends with the wind will always remain standing.”

Maya was already moving backward when the girl’s blow caught her lightly on the chest. Maya rolled with the punch, fell backward, landed flat on her back, pushed off with her hands, and immediately sprung back up into the sanchin-dachi position.

The dark-haired girl followed up her attack with an off-balance roundhouse punch. Maya lifted her arm and lazily blocked the punch. Once again, she could almost hear Master Gai whispering in her ear: “Pay no attention to those around you. Focus only on your opponent. There lies the threat, so only by studying them will you know of the danger.”

The noise of the hallway abated and everything around Maya, except for the dark-haired girl, seemed to blur and fade away. The girl was Maya’s sole point of focus and Maya studied her, waiting for an opening.

As the girl brought her arm back for another sloppy roundhouse punch, Maya lunged, and the flat of Maya’s palm caught the girl square in her chest. Just like Master Gai had taught her, she tensed at the moment of contact, minimized her follow-through, and transferred the full force of her blow into the girl, who flew backward into the locker, then fell to the floor.

Maya stepped forward and held her arm out with her palm up. She made eye contact with the girl, then waggled her fingers, as if inviting her to get up and continue. The girl declined, gathering up her scattered books and beating a hasty retreat.

As Maya’s adrenaline rush subsided, she gradually became aware of her surroundings and noticed Joey in the crowd. He had already gathered up her backpack and was looking at her with a newfound admiration as he handed it over to her.

“What are you looking at, Joey?” she asked.

“Maya, you just took out Amber Lynn Reed. She’s one of the nastiest bullies in the school.”

Maya took her backpack out of Joey’s hands, turned, and walked to her next class. “She started it.”

As the day went on, Maya noticed her classmates’ attitudes changing. Many of them made eye contact with her and she even got the occasional smile. However, the best message came at the end of the day as she boarded the bus for the ride home. As Maya walked down the aisle to sit with Joey she heard a number of whispers “That’s the girl who kicked Amber Lynn’s butt!”
I approve of the name change.
It seems like something Amber would do
 
I tried doing this one sober. Biiiig mistake. Dear GodBear, this is absolutely terrible stuff. Maya's got a black belt and she ends up choking the bully girl until she is gasping for air and her face is "red like a lobster"? That's absolutely psychotic.

Anyway...

CHAPTER 2: “School Fight”

After class ended, Maya gathered up her books, placed them in her backpack, and exited the classroom. None of her classmates looked at her, introduced themselves to her, or made any mention of the tripping incident.

As she saw the other students walking to their next classes in small groups, laughing and sharing stories, Maya felt even more alone. She looked down at her schedule, checked her next room assignment, and began walking in what she hoped was the right direction.

As Maya looked for the correct room number, she heard a voice cutting through the laughing and babble of the rest of the school.

“You really should be more careful.”

Maya continued to her next class; she didn’t know anyone, so no one would be talking to her, right?

Maya then felt someone poke her in the shoulder.

“Hey, new girl. You deaf?”

Maya stopped, turned, and saw the dark-haired girl who had tripped her leaning against a locker with a smirk on her face.

“I said, ‘You really should be more careful’, new girl. So are you clumsy, or just a tard?”

Since it was her first day in a new school, Maya had no desire to cause any problems. She turned away, and continued to her next class.

Maya felt a tug on the straps of her backpack and was spun around, coming face-to-face with the dark-haired girl. The girl smiled in a way that seemed to say “I’m better than you.”

Maya remained calm, and simply responded, “Move.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, new girl. You don’t tell me to move; you move for me. Consider this your warning.”

Before Maya knew what was happening, she saw a fist flying at her. As if she were in a dream, she could remember the teaching of her old sifu, Sum Yung Gai: “While the mightiest of oaks can be felled with but a single blow, the willow that bends with the wind will always remain standing.”

Maya was already moving backward when the girl’s blow caught her lightly on the chest. Maya rolled with the punch, fell backward, landed flat on her back, pushed off with her hands, and immediately sprung back up into the sanchin-dachi position.

The dark-haired girl followed up her attack with an off-balance roundhouse punch. Maya lifted her arm and lazily blocked the punch. Once again, she could almost hear Master Gai whispering in her ear: “Pay no attention to those around you. Focus only on your opponent. There lies the threat, so only by studying them will you know of the danger.”

The noise of the hallway abated and everything around Maya, except for the dark-haired girl, seemed to blur and fade away. The girl was Maya’s sole point of focus and Maya studied her, waiting for an opening.

As the girl brought her arm back for another sloppy roundhouse punch, Maya lunged, and the flat of Maya’s palm caught the girl square in her chest. Just like Master Gai had taught her, she tensed at the moment of contact, minimized her follow-through, and transferred the full force of her blow into the girl, who flew backward into the locker, then fell to the floor.

Maya stepped forward and held her arm out with her palm up. She made eye contact with the girl, then waggled her fingers, as if inviting her to get up and continue. The girl declined, gathering up her scattered books and beating a hasty retreat.

As Maya’s adrenaline rush subsided, she gradually became aware of her surroundings and noticed Joey in the crowd. He had already gathered up her backpack and was looking at her with a newfound admiration as he handed it over to her.

“What are you looking at, Joey?” she asked.

“Maya, you just took out Amber Lynn Reed. She’s one of the nastiest bullies in the school.”

Maya took her backpack out of Joey’s hands, turned, and walked to her next class. “She started it.”

As the day went on, Maya noticed her classmates’ attitudes changing. Many of them made eye contact with her and she even got the occasional smile. However, the best message came at the end of the day as she boarded the bus for the ride home. As Maya walked down the aisle to sit with Joey she heard a number of whispers “That’s the girl who kicked Amber Lynn’s butt!”

1) Can she punch her in the tit instead of the chest?

2) I like how the moral of this book is now "people will respect you if you use a show of force."
 
1) Can she punch her in the tit instead of the chest?
Which she? Amber Lynn? I can have her fight dirty and punch Maya in the boob, sure. If it's Maya, I meant the center of mass "chest", like in this:
2) I like how the moral of this book is now "people will respect you if you use a show of force."
I actually didn't add that moral. The book said that people started talking to Maya after she choked the bully out. Just, in Glo-Glo time, it took a couple of months...
 
Has she ever taken any kind of choir class? Because she cannot enunciate for shit
 
Tbh I think Glo's career tanked when she got married and her Dad decided that he doesn't need to bankroll all her dumb projects. I imagine the Russian husband doesn't want to throw money into a pit just to keep Glo happy.

The only thing she's done since getting married has been shilling aliexpress bikinis, right? That's significantly cheaper than a motion picture, several books, music videos, etc.

There WAS a photoshoot, but still that's negligible amounts of money compared to what her dad put into her adventures.
 
Tbh I think Glo's career tanked when she got married and her Dad decided that he doesn't need to bankroll all her dumb projects. I imagine the Russian husband doesn't want to throw money into a pit just to keep Glo happy.

The only thing she's done since getting married has been shilling aliexpress bikinis, right? That's significantly cheaper than a motion picture, several books, music videos, etc.

There WAS a photoshoot, but still that's negligible amounts of money compared to what her dad put into her adventures.

Yeah, much like Venusangelic's mom, the real lolcow was Gerry. Now that he's broke, we've basically heard the end of Maradonia. We might still see some cheap music videos, though. They never had big budgets. I don't think she'll bother writing that new novel, either.
 
Tbh I think Glo's career tanked when she got married and her Dad decided that he doesn't need to bankroll all her dumb projects. I imagine the Russian husband doesn't want to throw money into a pit just to keep Glo happy.

The only thing she's done since getting married has been shilling aliexpress bikinis, right? That's significantly cheaper than a motion picture, several books, music videos, etc.
Honestly, it tanked a good while before she got married. I think they just saw that nothing was coming out of it, except for negative attention on the internet, and gave up.
 
Tbh I think Glo's career tanked when she got married and her Dad decided that he doesn't need to bankroll all her dumb projects. I imagine the Russian husband doesn't want to throw money into a pit just to keep Glo happy.

The only thing she's done since getting married has been shilling aliexpress bikinis, right? That's significantly cheaper than a motion picture, several books, music videos, etc.

There WAS a photoshoot, but still that's negligible amounts of money compared to what her dad put into her adventures.
Her career tanked when she decided to self publish a novel. Not to sound like an elitist, but self publishing a debut novel is hardly a good idea
 
So someone in my Discord group actually bought the first Maradonia book. Jesus fucking Christ it's thicker than I thought it would be.
 

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So someone in my Discord group actually bought the first Maradonia book. Jesus fucking Christ it's thicker than I thought it would be.
I'm guessing it's the original version, before they included that awful 9/11 prophecy and made the second half it's own book. Was it signed by Gloria?
 
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