💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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c-no said:
I bet I can make a better one that is very condensed: Long ago somewhere in the mystical land of Europe, somewhere Mr. Tesch met Mrs. Tesch. They got married and went to America where Mr. Tesch could pursue the American Dream of being a shady guy. While in America, Mrs. Tesch gave birth to being known as Gloria Tesch whom in 16-18 years, wrote terrible book series that would be better off as toilet paper. THE END.

Well, how is that?
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Mrs. Tesch was a KGB agent and Mr. Tesch was a Stasi agent. They met while trying to kill president Reagan. After the Eastern Bloc fell they took the advice of their friend, Vladamir Putin, and proceeded to do shady business to reach the top.
 
c-no said:
Edit: Just learned that her mom is Russian and her dad is German. Might not necessarily be relevant. In addition, it's not that I'm dogging on foreigners or anything like that, I was just curious.
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Not to rag on foreigners, but what if that's their prime motivation for producing and peddling Maradonia? Like, that, within one generation, their progeny started turning out full-length English stories, and they got a little too ecstatic about it?
 
Henry Bemis said:
Not to rag on foreigners, but what if that's their prime motivation for producing and peddling Maradonia? Like, that, within one generation, their progeny started turning out full-length English stories, and they got a little too ecstatic about it?
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I don't know if that would be the prime motivation. For all we know, Mr. Tesch could just be peddling and/or producing Maradonia just to make an quick buck or something. Even then, perhaps it's just some way for him and his wife to please their daughter.
 
You know the part that really stands out in her infamous book trailer?

It's not the fictitious show talking her up, nor any of the folks paid to appear on camera and talk her up, nor the clips of scenes from the books. As poorly executed as they are, those things-at least in theory-belong in a book trailer.

No, it's this shot:

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I get it, Gloria, everyone wants to be in showbiz, so everyone, no matter how menial their job, looks fantastic. But the slow-motion? The fan? Really?
 
Gloria Discovers the Liquify Tool in Photoshop; Begins Disturbing Tranformation Into a Praying Mantis.

cBYEOtd.jpg

Can someone draw the skeletal anatomy of this one like SheCameForCWC.jpg? Her shinbones are smaller than her feet! :surprised: And turned at a very PAINFUL! angle.
 
I'm not sure how to react to this....
 
Saney said:
I doubt Chris would read it, it's over 100 pages and doesn't have any pictures. But we can satisfy ourselves with the knowledge that he knows who she is.
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Oh, there are pictures. Not particularly good pictures, mind you, but they're there. Click through for shit. Now, to be fair, some pictures are passable...as sketches. I mostly just picked my favorites (and a whole book shot to emphasize just how shitty the formatting is).
 
God said:
Oh, there are pictures. Not particularly good pictures, mind you, but they're there. Click through for shit. Now, to be fair, some pictures are passable...as sketches. I mostly just picked my favorites (and a whole book shot to emphasize just how shitty the formatting is).
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That dragon looks horrible. Maybe I'm biased because I occasionally draw dragons, but I could draw a much better looking dragon then that.
 
God said:
Oh, there are pictures. Not particularly good pictures, mind you, but they're there. Click through for shit. Now, to be fair, some pictures are passable...as sketches. I mostly just picked my favorites (and a whole book shot to emphasize just how shitty the formatting is).
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Sheesh. The title of each of those drawings could be some variation of "Ummm ... no." Like, "Ummm ... no. That's Not How You Draw a Dragon", and "Ummm ... no. That's Not How You Draw a Human Palm".
 
Fantasy fans should stop drawing dragons with six extremities. If they existed, they'd probably have an anatomy similar to bats, with the front legs/fingers working as wings:
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As for Gloria's would-be-sexy rifle picture... just now thoughts about Parkourdude and tard bonding over shared interests are whirling through my feverish brain.
 
They're dragons. They can look like whatever someone wants. They could be composed entirely of a series of interconnected dicks and Tinker Toys and there'd be no issue because they're not real.
 
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